This quote started a ruckus on my FB page today. Just thought I’d see what you guys thought:
WAIT TO SEE IF
HE’S ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND FIRST;
DON’T TREAT HIM
LIKE ONE UNTIL
HE’S EARNED IT.
Thoughts?
(I’m going to add my two cents in later. I have an unexpected errand just come up that I have to run right now.)
I don’t get it.
My opinion is that it’s a quip whose meaning is too connotative to say much about its content.
It is, however, great for venting & axe-grinding prompted by past relationship troubles which were due to being wronged or having unwise expectations.
What does “acting like a boyfriend” mean, anyway? Sending you flowers? Taking you out to dinner? Pestering you for sex?
In general, I think it’s a good idea not to try to make a casual relationship too serious too soon. However, I think there are probably better ways to say that, even ways that are pithy and quotable.
I would run a mile.
I assume the vague general meaning is something like “don’t assume you have a particular sort of relationship with a person without actual evidence to that effect,” which is good advice as far as it goes, though vague.
I’m curious as to what people think “acting like a boyfriend” and “treating someone like a boyfriend” entail.
How about just cut the B.S. and ask if he wants to be your boyfriend? He says no, you don’t want it casual, jump ship
My opinion is that most of life can’t be summed up on a Facebook post.
I assume that the quote means things like sending flowers, and not just expressing interest, else why would it end with “until he’s earned it”?
But yeah, it really needs both more context and more nuance.
I assumed it meant “don’t sleep with a guy whom you’re not sure will publicly acknowledge you as his girlfriend.”
It could mean anything at all. That’s the beauty of it!
Facebook is the opiate of the people.
What if a female whose operating principle is
WAIT TO SEE IF
HE’S ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND FIRST;
DON’T TREAT HIM
LIKE ONE UNTIL
HE’S EARNED IT.
meets a male whose operating principle is
WAIT TO SEE IF
SHE’S ACTING LIKE A GIRLFRIEND FIRST;
DON’T TREAT HER
LIKE ONE UNTIL
SHE’S EARNED IT.
???
What happens if all males and females everywhere followed these operating principles?
What happens if an immovable post meets another immovable post?
They both bitch about immovable posts on Facebook.
Seems like a more confrontational version of “Don’t make someone a priority who is making you an option”, which is solid enough advice.
Once you decipher it, it’s an OK thought, but something about the way it’s phrased is super passive-aggressive.
“Earned it” is problematic. See, it’s a salaried position, not hourly, so you can get called in at any time, or they can really work that “and other duties as assigned” clause from the employee handbook until you’re a mess. Everywhere is an “at will” state, so don’t get too comfy. And if you strike, they can bring in scab labor.
I’m going to guess that “ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND” means being your boyfriend on social media, and being with you in a girlfriend capacity around his IRL friends, in which case I agree: until he does those things, you’re just a side piece without commitment.
This was exactly my thought.
Also, as stated above. It comes off as super passive aggressive to me.
That was my take as well. It is rather stereotypical in terms of gender roles; all the expectation on the guy to make the first move and prove himself, nothing about what the woman might bring to the party or do to be proactive about her life.
Sounds like we are supposed to look out for ourselves, but it’s a gamey way of saying so. Man here.