Do you go to the doctor with your SO everytime s/he has an appointment? Do you stay home when s/he is home sick? One of the people in my office goes to EVERY doctor’s appointment with her husband- even regular checkups. She also stays home with him everytime he is sick. A few months ago, she called me to let me know she wouldn’t be in because hubby had a sinus infection and she had to take him to the doctor. I said that it must be a doozy of a sinus infection if he couldn’t get to the doc on his own, and I hoped that he felt better soon. She said “He can go, but since I’m his wife, he feels like it’s my job to take him and to stay with him when he’s sick”. Um, OK.
The only time my husband and I go to the doc with each other is if one of us is having something done that will cause us not to be able to drive. I have stayed home with him when he has had surgery and had to have someone with him for 24 hours after he came home, and he’s done the same for me. When either of us is sick, the other offers to stay home but I can’t remember either of us taking the other up on that offer. I’ve had 3 biopsies done under local and since I could drive afterwards, didn’t ask hubby to go with me.
Are we weird? And it has occurred to me that office person’s husband could have some chronic condition that she doesn’t want to discuss with any of us. I’m still curious about how many people go to the doc / stay home with their SO.
It’s a matter of degree. For a routine appointment or a common ailment, hell no. But if there’s a chance that he might actually need me for something or if there’s an actual problem, then he is my top priority.
Unless either of us is incapable of doing something for ourselves, then maybe we would stay and take care of eachother. Like when I had my wisdom teeth out, he drove me there and back and took the day off work to look after me. A sinus infection? Hell no.
How old are these people? I’m imagining a couple in their 60’s.
For routine appointments, no. And we don’t stay home with each other unless we are really debilitated with something. I did go with her to all her Ob/Gyn appointments the first time she was pregnant, but for the second and third I only went for the ultrasounds (I like seeing the ultrasounds), and the deliveries, of course.
I can’t remember the last time she went with me for anything, but I’ve never really had any serious medical problem.
Definitely not. The only time I’ve gone to the doctor with my husband is when he was feeling too crappy to drive to the doctor and needed me to drive; he was diagnosed with influenza at that appointment. And the only time my husband took me to a doctor’s appointment was when I had a broken wrist and he’d taken the day off to take care of me because I was still in a lot of pain; I tried to get in at the orthopedist (after the ER splinted it) but they were full for the day.
We don’t really stay home with each other either; it’d have to be something terrible. I don’t recall if I spent days home with my husband when he was super-sick with the flu (his worst two days were over a weekend and I was home anyway), but I did do a lot of bringing of soup and other caring for him when I was home.
I suspect if it was something Very Dramatic he or I would go to the other person’s appointment.
We only go with each other if the other person really needs someone to drive them or help them walk or whatever. Hasn’t happened very often. We usually just go on our own.
No way. If he’s sick enough that he doesn’t feel able to get himself to the doctor’s office, of course I would go with him. If I’m feeling sick enough that I can’t get myself to the doctor, he would go with me. Otherwise, no. Why would I? He’s a big boy, he can go to the doctor, gather information, get whatever prescriptions he might need, etc.
I’m his wife, not his mother.
Obviously, if either of us is so sick we really can’t get out of bed save going to the bathroom, or whatever, the other one is there. (And if I’m the one who’s sick, the kid is getting fish sticks and mac n’ cheese for dinner that night. . .), but outside of that? That’s just weird.
I’m unemployed, and I still wouldn’t go to the doctor with him unless he asked me to. And I’d give him a really strange look and ask “why on earth would you want me to do that” if he did ask me to and there wasn’t an obvious reason why he’d need me to go.
I would ask him to go with me only if there were no other way for me to get there and back. I’d take the bus before I’d ask him to take me. And even then, no way in hell is he coming in with me when I’m meeting with the doctor. He’d stay in the waiting room.
Neither of us would stay home with the other unless there was something practical we could do and the other couldn’t. Either of us can rest, drink fluids, and take medicines without help from the other (well, I couldn’t, if it was eye drops or injections).
We’d only go to medical appointments with each other if there was a need for a drive home or if it was something big with a potential for Very Bad News. I also hope he comes with me to prenatal appointments once that time eventually comes, because I want him to share the experience (he agrees).
If it was something involving a hospital stay, I think we’d both make an effort to stay with each other. I think that nobody should ever be alone in a hospital. You need someone watching out for you and making sure they’re reading the right chart and paying attention. I’ve seen too many mistakes happen not to be paranoid.
As for staying home with a sick spouse, it would have to be pretty damn bad before we’d take a day off work to play nurse. If he can’t fend for himself, I’d stay home. But otherwise I’d make every effort to get him settled and comfy and have everything he needs close by, and then head to work.
mrAru doesn’t normally go with me, unless the appointment is on a saturday or some other day he is off work. I will frequently go with him, because we tend to do the grocery shopping while we are out. If I have a serious appointment, like my cardiologist or neurologist he likes to tag along. We have paperwork on each other for medical powers of attorney, so we tend to be aware of each others health issues.
My wife went with me to my initial appointment with the allergist, as my sort-of “remembering-mind” person, but never since.
And I go to too many doctors to be dragging my wife with me. I just have to write the crap down to ask the docs so that I remember.
However, if we made an appointment for her, I might go with her…because otherwise I’m half-afraid she might actually not go and neglect to tell me about it.
Getting her to take care of herself is like pulling teeth.
