When I was younger I went alone, hubby hardly ever went, at all. But we’re older now, things change.
It’s no fun getting older. That transition, to taking a daily medication - forever more, even though you feel just fine, (high blood pressure), is difficult for a lot of people. You’ll see when you get there, is all I can say.
He is a minimizer and editor, forgets to ask, or forgets what he’s told, as it’s convenient to his denial/stoicism.
He returned from a follow up visit, she’d switched his starter hypertension meds, wanted to check it was a better fit, etc. I’m certain he’ll come back with dietary restriction, so I press him about what she said. All he’ll tell me, (cynically, humorously, but still), is, “I’m not allowed to eat anything, I’m not supposed to drink anything. I guess I’m just supposed to wait for the sweet release of death!” Wouldn’t elaborate much on that either!
Since then, I have gone with him into the examination room. When I related this story to our Dr, on his next visit, she found it pretty amusing. He also tried to tell her I was a carrier, causing those around me to have high blood pressure, and that coming to the Dr gave him high blood pressure! He doesn’t like going to the Dr, as he did it so rarely, as a younger man, so it’s hard for him to hear what he doesn’t want to hear, to remember what he’d rather ignore, etc.
I was with him, one time, and after addressing whatever we’d come in for, possibly meds renewal, she routinely asked, “Anything else you’re concerned about?”, while she was writing in his chart. He responded, “No, no, everything is good!” very casually and sincerely. In the pause that followed, having not said anything, more than a hello, during the consultation, in a whisper, I said, “He thinks he’s getting a hernia.”
Which, of coursed caused her to ask several pointed questions, ending with, ‘show me.’ It was decided he was likely ‘prehernia’, but as yet there was nothing to see or really do. We did, however get informed what symptoms to watch for, when to consult a doctor/go to a hospital.
This helps me a lot. Beyond being more informed. On the day he lifts something too heavy, around the house, and tries to downplay the importance of the symptoms, I will be able to refer him to what his Dr said. Men hate that women can remember this kind of shit, but I’m using my power for good not evil, I figure.
If I need some sort of medical procedure, (very rarely indeed), he stays in the hospital every minute until I am released, even if it takes all day. I make him do this because I am afraid of being in hospital. I am quite a bold/brave person generally, so he consents quite willingly.
My hubby is a definite candidate for not telling me if he got a bad diagnosis, so I go every time now. Though he claims it bugs him, I know for a fact, he finds it reassuring, as well. I didn’t know his nature as well 25+ yrs ago.
He began to accompany me after a dodgy mammo, (all well in the end!). He now always comes with me, but not always into the examination room. Things change in life. We started out where most of you are but have shifted, years later, into a totally different place.
It felt like a natural transition and we are both very active and healthy. He has beginners hypertension, and I have beginners bone density loss. We’re pretty lucky in this regard, we are old enough now, (he’s over 60, I’m over 50), that we attend a lot of funerals. I’m doing all I can to make sure that luck holds!
