your suggestions, please

As I have mentioned before, I love anime and frequent several anime message boards. There are a great number of teenagers at these boards and at one I’ve sort of come to be the “cybermom” where the people have asked me questions or sought advice. At one particular board, I’ve gotten to know a very creative, intelligent 16 year old guy from Canada.

About 2 weeks ago, he messaged me, very distraught. After a some guesswork, it was determined that after many months of denial and pretending, he has come to the realization that he is gay. He is very upset about this, due to how society tends to view gay males. He doesn’t want to tell his parents or his brother, but he doesn’t know how to deal with questions about why he isn’t dating more, etc.

Any suggestions for me to tell him? I’m still encouraging him to tell his family, but he doesn’t feel he can do so at this time.

I sure don’t want to sign anybody up (fellow dopers) to take this case and help the kid, (though many would - of their own accord), but I might suggest that the kid lurk here for a while.

Pretty much all posters that I’ve read (I tend not to frequent GD, so I may not know) are very open, understanding, compassionate and accepting people. There are many gay posters (I use the term generally, please forgive) and I’ve NEVER read anything negative about them based on their sexuality.

There are a couple of threads (three) called “Ask the gay guy”, “Ask the gay guy II” and “Ask the gay guy III” that might warrant reading.

As a high school teacher, I met more than one student who was either struggling with their homosexuality (usually because they have many questions and are understandably confused), or had not yet “discovered” their homosexualtiy.

Perhaps his area has a gay group with a phoneline he could call at times? But maybe he has already tried that, I don’t know.

Don’t know where in Canada he is, but here in Edmonton, I know of several groups that meet to help young (under 18) people coming to terms with their sexuality. They generally advertise in the “alternative” weekly papers; something of this nature may be a good first step.

while you may encourage him to talk to his family I would probably not do so. Eventually it must be done but I feel that he must be comfortable with it himself before he decides to tell his family.
just my opinion though