I’ve used the handle “Zut” for years, for a number of different things. One of these things is making reservations at restaurants. I figure if I have to spell my name anyway, I might as well make it short (plus “Zut” amuses me).
Anyway, a few of my friend have confessed to also using fake names, on occasion, while making reservations or ordering pizza or whatever. One uses “J. D. Salinger” (famous American author, for those of you not blessed with a proper American education), one claims to use “Bill Gates,” and a third claims to use “Mike Hunt” (although I don’t believe him).
Does anyone else have a favorite nom du restaurant? Do you use your on-line name? A real person? A particularly amusing fake name?
I have a friend whose name in restaurants is highly variable. But only when there is a long line of people waiting for their name to be called. If anyone is called twice without responding, suddenly that’s his name and in he goes.
Once I went to get on the seating list and when they asked how many of us I said there were oodles of us, and then after some calculation gave her the real number. Sometime later they called for the “Oodles, party of eight!”
I always use the names of dead white heavyweight champions -Tunney, Dempsey, Sullivan and Marciano. On a related note, a friend likes to play chinese food roulette. The local joint keep the take out bags at the desk waiting for the customer to pick them up. Th name and bill is stapled to the bag and he walks up, chooses a bag that looks about the right size and tells the clerk that is his name. Do not try this if you are a picky eater - ya never know whats for dinner!
I like to use the names of baseball players. I’ve used Ted Williams, Stan Musial, Lou Brock, Frank Robinson, and Mike Schmidt. If someone asks, I just tell them my dad was a big fan.
Kuni (or Cooney) is a lot snappier than either me or my wife’s real name, so we’ve gotten in the habit of using it. But my favorite was a guy named Joe Lewis, who married a woman named Martin. He got it whenever he tried to leave the name of Joe Louis or worse, Martin and Lewis.
“Alek Hidell” is the name used by Lee Harvey Oswald when he mail-ordered his Mannlicher-Carcano rifle, which he either did, or didn’t, use to shoot JFK from the Texas Schoolbook Depository. Or the grassy knoll. Or the manole cover. Or the giant “Hertz” sign.
Ohhhh. Thanks, Rodd (and little). To be honest, I thought it was an Eileen Dover/Seymour Butts kind of thing. I sat here for ten minutes muttering “aLEK hiDELL… ALek HIdell… aLEKHIdell…” and still couldn’t get it.
I usually pick the name of the restaurant. If I’m at The Red Robin burger joint, my name’s Robin. If I’m at Diedrich’s coffee shop, I’m Diedrich. At Starbucks, I’m either “Star”, child of hippies, or “Buck Naked”, porn star (thank you George Costanza.)
Once I picked the name of the japanese prime minister at a japanese restaurant and the host seemed very offended, so you’ve got to be careful.
My hope is that one day I’ll go to “Pierre’s Deluxe Restaurant Francais” and since my name is Pierre they’ll think I’m the owner and let me in ahead of all the losers waiting for a table.
