Is this really true?
I always thought that vasectomies were reversible- I’ve even toyed with the idea of a fantasy world where all men are given vasectomies at puberty (or at birth, if it’s possible) and they have to petition to get it reversed when they’re ready to reproduce.
Alas. Fortunately, I wasn’t the one who had the misfortune to get knocked up by him; it was the girl two girls after me.
Ward Cleaver a good father!? You don’t remember the time he hired Wally to paint the garbage cans but then gave the job to the Beav, and June called CPS!?
Vasovasostomy (that is, reattaching the plumbing) is possible in most cases, but it’s not quite as simple as reconnecting the pipe and watching the frustrated little sperm go.
Vasectomies often result in blockage of the vas deferens; since nothing is passing through it, it basically fills up with assorted cellular detritus, or occasionally closes itself off. This becomes more and more likely over time.
The other problem is that vasectomy typically results in a permanent reduction in sperm production, for reasons you’d have to have a urologist (or maybe a normal MD) explain; and that the sperm which are produced exhibit a much higher likelihood of chromosomal abnormalities. This not only reduces the chances of successful knock-uppage, but greatly increases the chance that any such pregnancy will be defective.
ETA: If you’re asking about whether it’s really that hard to find a willing doctor: yes. Men who find that their vasectomies are irreversible tend to file a lot of lawsuits, regardless of how many releases they’ve signed.
Thanks for the info. Don’t know where I heard that it was easily reversible.
If he is in doubt about the paternity, suggest that he have a DNA paternity test done. It is both easy, cheap and quick.
[quote=“AClockworkMelon, post:81, topic:548866”]
ACM for President! ! !
Seriously though, gettign him involved is not “sticking it to him.” Forcing him to pay is also giving him the right to participate, a priviledge he clearly doesn’t deserve, and will most likely never earn. But as soon as it’s prven that he is the Father, he’ll have consitutional right which are almost impossible to break, even after he does considerable damage to the children.
Trust me on this, especially if you live in Virginia.
I can only change my signature so often!
True, I’m making assumptions. If it turns out he’s not the father, I still think it’s messed up he’s not taking responsibility.
In the hypothetical that she knew someone else is the father but was trying to stick it to idiot, that is messed up too and I’m glad to not associate with either parties.
Depends. My husband got one at 24, but the urologist made him wait 6 months to make sure he was “certain”. We had other friends get them in their early 20s, but I’ve heard horror stories too about docs being real jerks about it.
[/tangent]
Did you miss the part in the OP where the woman was seeking a court order to force him to take one? That suggests that he isn’t interested in having one voluntarily.
Bolding mine:
Had you and/or your husband already had kids?
These days, it mostly lives in the sock drawer.
Anyway. There are enough parallels between male and female genitalia that I can safely say that if you *literally cannot tell *the difference between sex when your penis is covered in a layer of plastic and sex without that cover, that *something *isn’t working the way it’s supposed to. Hell, sex even feels different for me when my partner is using a condom–and I’m not the one wearing it.
It’s one thing to say you don’t *mind *sex while wearing a condom, but to say you “don’t notice the difference”? :dubious:
Indeed. I didn’t want to speculate as to which.
Probably *in comparison to *something like a tubal ligation.
I didn’t mean to be taken literally when I said I don’t notice it. Maybe I should have said that I barely notice it. Though I do have to say that my penis isn’t very sensitive (maybe from rampant masturbation?). For example, while inside a girl’s mouth, I can’t tell if she’s doing anything to the head of my dick with her tongue. I do mean that literally.
It may be easier now, but I know years ago they used to make women undergo psych evals if they wanted sterilization procedures in their twenties, especially if they had no children. A friend of mine had to deal with that crap in the 80s before they let her get her tubes tied. I don’t know if they did the same thing to men or not.
Acantha, it’s still very hard for pre-menopausal women to undergo elective sterilization. You can find lots of threads here with anecdotes from women with really, really terrible periods who can’t get their GYNs to agree to let them undergo hysterectomies. ("*Let *them," like some kind of fucking child. Ugh.)
That… doesn’t sound right at all.
Your penis makes me sad.
I care (just barely enough to post about it) when someone posts something that seems negatively judgemental about how someone else feels about babies and pregnancies when it’s none of their business, either. I think I’m getting lost down this rabbithole. How about everyone just stops judging how everyone else feels about babies and pregnancies?
Well, yeah. I wasn’t just typing to exercise my fingers.
ACM, You might want to Google (on a non-work computer) anything Dan Savage (of the Savage Love advice column) has to say about the “death grip.” In other words, desensitizing yourself to anything other than pretty vigorous efforts. He does talk about how to work against that effect, but it’ll take some time and effort. Alternately, consider talking to a doctor just to make sure everything’s OK.
That’s what she said.