Sorry. I still do not see a debate, here.
It might qualify as your humble opinion, but I am not seeing a genuine discussion.
“If a person does not get married by some arbitrary date, they are fearful.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Yes, they are.”
Some debate.
Off to IMHO.
Clearly, he/she means that if you aren’t married it’s because of FEAR. Just another evil caused by video games . . .
OP, just curious, what is your gender and occupation?
Some people, even straight people, can have good reasons why marriage would be less than beneficial for them.
If you are acknowledging that marriage can have “negative consequences” then we would assume that “making a commitment” must therefore have positive consequences that outweigh the negative ones in order for marriage to be a logical choice. Please elaborate on this dynamic and why marriage is always the rational choice.
Thank you, but mainly it’s because I’ve not got much of a sense of humour / comic timing. I can’t tell a joke, can’t make people laugh.
There are some women who get married to the first man who asks them because they’re afraid of never getting married.
There are some men who ask a woman to marry them because they’re afraid that she’ll leave him if he doesn’t.
Are those fears any more or less despicable/more or less understandable than the fears the OP sees in people who are fifty and never married?
And why is it 50? Why not 40 or 30 or 60? Seems pretty arbitrary to me.
And I’m not 50. 
I really have no interest in getting married. I see no obvious benefits to it, I’m not religious, and it just seems like a bit of a spectacle. If hypothetical future long term partner wishes to marry then I could be swayed (probably quite easily), but it’s never seemed like an obvious or necessary life goal for me to pursue.
Why do you say that? I’m a firm believer that there’s (more than one) someone for everyone. If you want to marry, it is most likely VERY possible to do so.
What on earth is it to do with you why people don’t marry; even worse, what entitles you to berate them for it? Did an unmarried 50 year old man kill your puppy or something?
I’m sure there’s a dating site for accountants out there
Seriously, though, while I’m hardly the poster child for self-confidence myself, I think you’re likely being too harsh on yourself. Plenty of no-nonsense men and women out there, and plenty of men and women who’ll overlook your lack of humor if you have another quality they value more (be it loyalty, reliability, empathy, sincerity, a big wallet…or the ability to make them come like a volcano :)). Being a good clown certainly helps, I can vouch for that… but it’s definitely not the end all, be all of relationships. I can, sadly, vouch for that too 
Think about it this way : Fred Phelps is married. Think *he *can tell a joke ? :dubious:
Waitaminnit. Others have been responding as if you were making this judgment of anyone who was in their 50s and not married. You explicitly stated that this is only with regard to those who are in this state but have stated that they have a desire to be married at some point.
Let me Clu-You-In: these people will not want to answer such a question to someone with no Clu, such as yourself, in a casual setting. Especially if you’ve given them any Clus that you are boorish enough to be amused by their discomfort. Do you believe that in asking this question, you are exposing to them some inconsistency in their story? Some flaw in their representation of themselves? Another Clu for you: these people who, again, have revealed that they hold out some hope of getting married in the future, will be upset by this question to some degree. Some will just be irritated, because it’s a big issue in their lives that they have not yet been able to deal with. Others will be so angry at this grossly intrusive question that their hemming and hawwing is really just a by-product of their counting to ten in their head.
In the future, please make it as clear as you can to them that you have no Clu before you ask this question, as it will give them some warning. Another hint: when you see someone with a missing limb, who has inadvertently admitted that they are not sanguine about the situation, maybe you don’t want to ask them about it casually. Though they will doubtless have some sort of story that attempts to put a positive spin on the situation, I guarantee that many of these people will be upset by this question. There will be some who will not be bothered – yes, the arm is gone, but after crawling through the jungle for three days after the plane crash, the gangrene was to such a degree that it didn’t really make sense to keep it. However, the majority will just say a short sentence about an incident with a thresher, and then try to change the subject. When they do this, please try to hide your amusement.
What bullshit.
I just turned 40 and I’ve never been married. If I meet the right guy, I’d certainly consider tying the knot, but the mindset is “marry if you meet someone you love enough,” not “marry because you’re ‘love to be married’.” I don’t see much in the married state that is better than the single state except the whole “I love this person utterly and I want to wake up next to him/her everyday” part.
So it’s not fear that keeps me single, it’s: (1) being comfortable and at peace with my single state; (2) the man I desperately wanted to marry didn’t want to marry me; and (3) the man who wanted to marry me, I didn’t love enough to marry.
I’ve got my eye out for Mr. Right, and I am consciously open to opportunities to meet him. But I refuse to live my life waiting for him to show up, or act like my life isn’t full and meaningful unless or until he gets here. That’s not fear; that’s realism and gratitude for what I have.
As mentioned above, fear often serves a purpose. I fear stepping out into traffic. The solution to that is not to overcome my fear and bravely step in front of a bus.
I’ve had plenty of offers of marriage in the past. I just could not see myself spending a lifetime with any one of those wonderful women. Sure, it was fear – fear of being stuck in a life that I didn’t want.
(I recently realized that there is one women that I’d gladly sign up for a lifetime with, but by the time I came up with that realization, it was too late. She’d changed her mind about me.)
If only people with good sense of humors reproduced, the race would have died out years ago (or become all Jewish. 
) My wife, much as I love her, can’t tell a joke worth crap, and she got married. If that’s your biggest problem, you’ve got nothing to fear but fear itself.
(50, never married, never will marry.)
Imagine that. My life does not measure up to your standard.
You may of course have a point, but then again, it is really none of your business.
While my life is not up your high standards, at least I have a level of maturity you seem may yet gain when you reach maturity.
Hmm, I’ll have to share your theories with my aunt. Her problem isn’t that her first fiancee was tragically killed a couple months before the wedding, or that she realized her second fiancee was someone she only accepted because she’d spent years praying for someone to love and care for and he was all that had shown up. Or that she’s spent most of her adult life tending to my ailing grandparents hasn’t really had time to actively pursue a dating life. No, the whole problem is that she’s a coward.
Good to know.
It is the legal and binding contract part of marriage. If you break up when you are living together, you just keep going. In marriage you take financial steps backwards.
Maybe you’re a coward because you are afraid to be alone?
Right, that’s why you chose the neutral, objective term COWARD in all caps in your subject. Yes, that’s certainly an effective way to raise a topic while avoiding any suggestion of condemning or hurting anyone. :rolleyes:
Why do you assume that there will be no financial consequences upon the break-up of a common-law relationship? If you’ve both contributed to living expenses, mortgage payments, child care, or education, there is often scope for claims and litigation to result - but without the certainty provided by the divorce laws. That means that the litigation after a common law break up can be longer and more costly than a regular divorce.
All this time and nobody has used the Perfect Explanation?
“I wasn’t going to marry till I found the Perfect Woman. I searched and searched for her for years, rejecting many who weren’t Perfect.
Then I found Her! Perfect for me in every way! You ask why I didn’t marry her? 
It seems she was looking for the Perfect Man.” :smack: