LOL!! 
My college roommate called it “Petting Miss Kitty.”
Let’s not forget the ever-relevent Seinfeld: “Are you king of the country? I’m queen of the castle!”
Incidentally, Jerry and George are talking about oral sex right now. It’s the episode where Elaine reveals to Jerry that she faked with him:
"And the guy never knows?
“no!”
“How could he not know?”
“He didn’t know.”
“I guess after that many beers, he was too groggy anyway.”
“Weeellll, you didn’t know.” 
Argh…thanks to people like YOU, I can’t say even innocent-sounding phrases without being laughed at!
Reminds me of when I was writing a paper and I said, “I had to choke down the chicken” when referring to, well, choking down some chicken I was eating for dinner. My boyfriend immediately pointed it out and told me that I might want to change my wording.
You people are terrible! (said in the most affectionate way possible)
Only 95% of people masturbate…the other 5% just lie about it
What about “polishin’ the pole” and “jerkin’ the gherkin”?
I know what you mean! I know plenty of people that chuckle like Beavis and Butt-head every time someone says a word like “come”.
comes from the Dicken’s character (50 Spider points to anyone who can name which novel; I can’t remember) named Master Bates.
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I believe that would be Oliver Twist, Spider Woman.
You’re already tops in my book; you don’t need any bonus points!
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::blushing::
Hey Madge, your soaking in it!
Look, it’s my job to put out bait for rodents, bait for ants, bait for roaches. And I get good results, too.
But I resent people calling me a “master baiter.”
::rimshot::
/hijack (sort of)/
Contrary to popular belief, Jocelyn Elders did not advocate teaching children HOW to mastUrbate. She advocated including a discussion of mastUrbation as an alternative to intercourse, the discussion to be held in sex education classes revolving around safe sex practices to be taught to high school students. The fact that Bill Clinton didn’t stand by her and let her get railroaded out of her position just showed Bill to be the political opportunist without equal. And before I get flamed by any Clinton supporters, I voted for him.
I still like “joclyn’ the elders” though.
No DAVEW0071, Rimming is a whole other topic we might want to just shy away from, along with felching.
magdalene wrote:
Okay:
“Radar, we’ve got incoming wounded. Get the O-R tent ready for surgery. Oh, and tell Hot Lips to hurry it up this time or we’ll show everybody the naked pictures of her and Frank together.”
One that has always killed me was “Roughing up the suspect”
For women: “Flicking the bean”
Of course we could be timely about this…
Men: Congratulating the Vice-President
Women: Preening the President
(Add “Elect” to both until 1/20)
Oliver Twist, Spider Woman? I must have missed that one! Was that the one where he was a crossdressing superhero?
<runs>
The Foremen had a great song called “Firin’ the Surgeon General” in which the title becomes our hero’s new euphemism for spanking the monkey.
In it they also use my favorite euphemism:
“I used to pat the Robertson…”
My personal favorite for female masturbation: Flickin’ the bean.
Hey!! :wally: