How about “Riding the Great White Knuckler”?
Max Torque Thanks a lot! I was screwing around at work, and you made me laugh out loud and get in trouble with my partner!!
“Jostlin’ the Elder” Indeed!!
And MY 2 cents:
for females: pushing the panic button and beating around the bush!! 
that reminds me of the time I read Trainspotting in the American-Edition…
there was a translation list from British English to American English on the very last page:
wanker = masturbator
you masturbators you! Go blinde!!!
dodgy
shaking the workless guy s hand…
Actually I just heard that Joycelyn Elders just finished writing her book, a grade school textbook IIRC.
The title?
“Fifty Ways to Love Your Lever”
Well, if there was a Master Bates in Oliver Twist, that gives a new one:
Twisting the Oliver
Vicki the Sigless
while i’m not proud of doing it i am proud to have coined the euphism " listening to the sound of one hand clapping". speaking of which i think i feel a zen moment approaching…
Man, that’s pretty damn funny.
My ex-husband always called it “strokin’ the lizard”.
I have always referred to it as “milking the manhood.”
Then there’s the mental image conjured up when you mention milking the bull. YUCK!
Who cares if you go blind? …as long as you can touch yourself!
I don’t want annnnnnybody else… when I think about you, I touch myself…
quote:
Originally posted by scratch1300
But is it wacking off or whacking off?
Additional quote:
The proper term is “punching the clown.”
Then there’s:
Polishing the Knob
Making your Hard Drive a Floppy
Chokin’ the Chicken
Jerkin’ the Gerkin
Takin’ it to Ole One-eye
Poppin’ the Toppin’
Slammin’ and Bammin’
Gettin’ Rough with Mr. Tuff
Makin’ ready with your Bouncin’ Betty
Playing Slappy with Mr. Happy
Bumping the Bishop
Poppin’ the Pope
JP
Student of the Mr. Manly School
Exactly!
Chase the tiger
Choke the chicken
Spank the monkey
Rock the lobster
Feed the kitten
Beat the bishop
Make the bull moose roar
Irritate the badger
Change the transmission fluid
J-E-R-K-O-F-F!
We sing that every time we play Clemson.
There used to be a bait shop in Beaufort, SC, called Master Baiters. Painted on the outside was a large wriggling cartoon worm clenched in a big hairy-backed fist. (There I thought it put hair on your palms, not the back of the hands.) City fathers deemed it obscene and so ruled, and the owners painted it over, lightly, with one coat of white paint. People still cruised by to look at it.
Nymysys, anybody with a sig like that is someone I shoulda fallen in love with! Oh, well, 
And the shower is my personal favorite, assuming there’s no company. Well, even then!
How cum nobody remembered “shellacking the lizard” or “steaming the carpet” (gendered respectively)? :rolleyes: Not to mention beating the bishop??? washing the inner tube?
personal favorite: cleaning the snorkel
So, how should I spell perterbation?
You know, the latin word for “Dad hits us with sticks”.
What about “fiddlin’ with the diddler”?
Another female term I heard (yes) in grade school:
Teasing the cliff ogre.
Don’t ask.
(sorry ‘Ogre’ 
)