You've Gotta Laugh And Cry

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

There is a guy in prison in South Carolina. His name is Jonathan Lee Riches and he’s in jail for wire fraud. But that’s not why I’m discussing him.

His claim to fame (as it were) is that he has filed over 1500 pro se lawsuits around the country over the last few years. The judges have finally blocked his access to the courts (unless his suits meet certain criteria) in the future. However, I looked up one of his suits and saw something that was at the same time humorous and sad.

On July 15, 2007, he filed suit against President Bush. Well, not just President Bush. The defendants were President Bush and the following list of people, organizations and objects real and fictitious:

The suit was dismissed by the judge on August 17, 2007.

At the bottom of the list of court documents (dated Jan 24, 2008) the following note appears (emphasis mine):

Zev Steinhardt

2

At least he only wants the Ninja Samurai Fighters. If he wanted all the Ninjas and all the Samurai, well that would just be unreasonable.

3

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

I forgot to emphasize the part I was emphasizing.

the docketing department of the Clerk’s Office is still inputing the names of the hundreds of defendants named in this action.
While I was at it, I’m looking at some of this guy’s other lawsuits. He’s a real winner.

Zev Steinhardt

4

Please to be explaining how anyone could build a case against the Eiffel Tower?

5

Why did he file that particular law suit? (Against Russel Crowe, Viagra, Native American Fish Society, and a few others)
Edit:
…

Just why?

6

You know, I can sympathize. Sometimes I feel like suing “The” myself. That sodding bastard of a definite article makes my life a living hell!

7

From a design standpoint, I’d go for a brownstone look.

8

With an erector set?

9

I was just about to ask what this nutter’s claim was. Sounds like he ripped a page out of some phonebook and pasted it onto some pleading paper without bothering to say what his beef was.

Reminds me of another vexatious litigant I came into contact with. This cat somehow found my name and added me to a laundry list of people with the barest of connections to the apartment building he lives in. IIRC, the claim was along the lines of “Personal Injure, ELDER abuse and NEGLET” with all of the random capitalizations and mis-spellings we’ve come to expect from loony people that manage to find access to a typewriter.

After a brief conversation with the building’s attorney, I submitted an answer saying that my only association with the building was to install a telephone system in their business office, and at no time did I have any interactions with tenants. (Vexatious or not, nobody wants a default judgment!) At the pre-trial conference, they didn’t get very far. Mr. Vex apparently said little more than “They no good! They steal food and hurt me!” then he left the courtroom. Moments later, he was seen walking to his car and driving off.

“Let the record show that the plaintiff has left the courtroom and has driven away. Plaintiff’s claim is dismissed.”

10

You can create all sorts “what do they have in common?” trivia questions with that list:

What do Jessica Alba, Saddam Hussein and Ben Roethlisberger have in common?

Another one: What do Joey Buttafuoco, Oprah Winfrey and Elian Gonzales have in common?

11

That’s it, my head just exploded.
Planet of Pluto… well at least that’s safe.

American Psychiatric Association… yeah no shit, they’ve clearly failed him big time.

gotpasswords… that’d be some phonebook! Though I’ve been meaning to give both Adolf Hitler and the Bolivian Mafia a call so it would come in useful.
ETA: you know I just noticed there’s a whole segment of nouns he forgot about. He included several organisations of humans, but he didn’t include more abstract nouns.

Where’s his suit against magnanimity? Against ‘The American Way’? Against the feeling you get as you realise you’ve locked yourself out of your flat and the cleaning lady’s attending her gran’s funeral up in Norwich?

12

Wow. that’s quite a list. I like the idea of the “what do they have in common” game

e.g. George Orwell, Hubble Space Telescope, Monica Lewinsky

OR J.K. Rowling, The Taliban, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream

:confused: :eek: :confused:

My brain hurts!
And I clicked on the link to this weirdo’s other cases, and I see that he wants to take legal action against Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie (plus various Pitt/Jolie offspring) because, apparently, they kidnapped Madeleine McCann. In “a major conspiracy plot”, no less.

13

With iron girders?

He sounds mentally ill to me. Although I like the mix of Ninja Samurai, Tonya Harding and Louis XV.

14

Bono is named, but the rest of U2 gets off scot free? What the hell, man?

15

Oh my God, this site will entertain me for days.

16

Are Ninja Samurai Fighters ninja who fight samurai, or samurai who are also ninjas who fight in general?

17

If this guy lived in New York, he’d be running for Mayor. That’d be much more productive.

18

He forgot to sue White-Westinghouse for subjecting him to Barry White’s singing.

19

No one messes with The Edge, man. :cool: No one.

20

I love that he’s suing the “tsunami victims”, apparently all of them. Plus Che Guevara AND “Huggies”.

Is this guy available as a Flash game?