I think somebody posted this already on the board this summer because I think that’s where I got it, but in the spirit of the OP it’s worth posting again.
Even I think this is hilarious.
Bush vs. The Zombies
My law school should be a decent place to hide out from the zombies. If we can knock out the stairs, everything above the first floor should be reasonably secure. We’ve got a fully-stocked cafeteria, so there should be food and water for a while - if, that is, the zombies hit on a weekend, so there aren’t too many mouths to feed. Many of the law journal offices also stock snacks - I suppose that, in dire straits, my crew could take on the Admin guys, and have a fighting chance.
I work on an offshore oil rig. I’m pretty sure I could hold out for a little while (unless zombies can swim).
Oh they can. Any they love oil. You’re fucked. Sorry.
Well, if I can get downstairs to the shop alright, and barricade the one door to that, I should be okay in the short term. The shop tech who works there seems like he’d be pretty zombie-savvy, and with a welder and the metal on hand I think we could get some weapons made pretty quick. Still, in the middle of San Francisco, food’s gonna be an issue. I think our best bet would be to get some weapons made, and make a break for the bay. I figure Zombies aren’t likely to be able to swim, so if we can get onto a boat of some sort we should be okay. Preferably something large and well-stocked, but I can handle a small sailboat if it comes to that. Won’t be comfortable, and food might get to be an issue, but if we hug the coast, I think we could make it out of the Bay Area, where there are way too many people for me to rest easy.
Not only can they swim, they’ll take on sharks as an appetizer.
I thought I saw at least one movie where they walk along the bottom of the body of water.
They prominently employ this tactic in Zombie Lake, the “Manos” of European zombie cinema. In this case it helps that the lake in question, when viewed underwater, coincidentally resembles in every respect a public swimming pool. So if your oil rig happens to be anchored at the YMCA, you’re doomed.
I was just pondering what Little Nemo planned to eat when the food ran out…
Do you start with the old inmates or the young ones?
I couldn’t understand a word of that. Either you work in Marketing, or you’re already a zombie. Possibly both, which would make you the VP of Marketing.
Well, you know, they’re all innocent, so they should taste pretty good either way! 
I will declare a datacenter outage, canvass for volunteers to work overtime until all systems are back online, and watch the zombies silently disappear.
hurrgh… got to pick up kids… brains… from soccer… sorrrrry
I work in a secure armed forces establishment(Civvy) in the U.K. which raise problems of its own.
Obviously some people would succumb to the Z virus by non bite transmission whilst actually in work so our location would not be Zombie free.
We have armed Ministry of Defence police roaming around plus non Army service personnel and I would be more worried about being shot accidently or in a panic by one of them then I would be of having my brain eaten.
There would also be the difficulty of distinguishing between slow moving,shambling,incoherent monsters that want to eat your brains and those who are likewise but are members of the civil service.
I would make myself available of the stocks of food, weapons and ammunition in our establishment and then retire to my office and listen to news bulletins on the radio.
My place of work is totally secure so no Zombie will be able to get in,my worry is that panicing colleagues might let them inn while trying to get in themselves so I would barricade the door.(They can look out for themselves Bastards!)
After probably a night(long enough for all the incompetent weapon handlers in my vicinity to get themselves killed off and thus present no threat to me)I would go to an upper window on one side of the building and clear the area of any Zombies with a rifle and then repeat the action for all four walls,followed by a last check of all directions in case any more wandered up in the meantime.
Then I would check the fuel on the "firms"vehicle parked outside,stow away a proportion of my food and ammo in it plus a couple of my rifles and pistols and then clear street by street the vicinity of my work building of any Zombies,refuel long before it is necessary and then return to my refuge for the night to get some rest(plus its easier to see the Zs in daylight) and repeat daily covering a wider and wider area until I’m getting short of ammo.
After