Welcome to my masterbatory, egomanical, skirting-the-rules-but-I-think-it’ll-avoid-being-closed-by-virture-of-the-updates-or-at-least-the-amount-of-work-that-went-into-this 10,000th post!
IN THE BEGINNING
1,999 days ago, after lurking for many, many years (damnit, I coulda been a 99’er!), I finally made my first post, after which I was warmly welcomed by DeVena (thanks again!). Incidentally, links in the original thread are bad now, but I found a live one. And stand by what I said – yes, I see the hummingbird, but it looks more to me like a donkey facing a firing squad.
My first thread was a GQ in which I couldn’t remember the company name “W.B. Mason” (thanks again, Photog [although you haven’t logged in since 2004]).
UPDATES!
Just What Jersey Needs: Creepy-Ass Swamp Trolls – I have no update, even though one was promised. I have no idea if the (now former) coworker ever went back to take a follow-up pic or not.
An update on the Surrogacy Trifecta of threads:
My Wife Is Pregnant, And The Baby Isn’t Mine…
It’s Delivery Day! (Or is it…?)
It’s Delivery Day! (Well, almost…we hope, anyway…)
Maya Lynn is now heading towards 17 months old, and she’s a stunner. As time has passed, it’s becoming abundantly clear just by looking at her that Moti is her father, and coincidentally enough he’s the only one she’ll call “daddy”. Doesn’t matter, though – that kid has got a ton of love coming at her from all directions. We get together ever few months, which is certainly nice, and the dads still occasionally send the “care packages” from pricy NYC bakeries that they sent which Maya was in the rent-a-womb.
Sad news stemming off the Hello Baby, Goodbye Mom… thread – Ryan made it rather clear that he wants no part of the online community that was a large part of Aria’s life. I haven’t seen the kids since the funeral.
The Plans For Friday Night: Sleep In A “Haunted” Building thread had its own update on Page 3, but there’s more news. That same research group came back for a second go-'round, and came back with…nothing. Never dissuaded, however, they’re planning a third trip into this hotbed of paranormal activity.
BY THE NUMBERS
No surprise what the most posted to and most viewed thread was – the one that I can’t escape, Sex with sheep is fun, with 398 posts and over 30,000 views. However, if we want to talk about threads that I actually started, when we have to go with the Doperball series: Doperball III with 366 posts, Doperball IV with 348 posts, Doperball I with 238 posts and Doperball VII with 222 posts. The biggest non-game success was What The Hell Is That? with 270 posts and 8,662 views.
On the flip side, we have a couple of epic failures – threads that didn’t last an hour before vanishing into the abyss.
The Birth of the Pink Panther
Just Don’t Ask Me To Strip This Bus For Parts
An Ode To Hamster Chow
Someone should do an updated version of King Missile’s “Martin Scorsese”
THE TLB CHRONICLES! (Or, “Cripes, I Talk About My Kid A Lot”)
We had announcements of The Littlest Briston’s fetal existence and her birth. Then came the fun stuff:
If I Decide To Do It, The Baby Must NEVER Find Out…
I Don’t Want To Be One Of Those Parents…
Coffee!!!
Three Babies, One Cake, And A Lot Of Plastic Sheeting
My Daughter Is Finally Talking. Opinionated Little Brat…
I Learned Something About Kids Recently…
They’re Not Supposed To Learn This 'Til They’re Teens!
Meet My Daughter, Baldy
Gee Daughter, Thanks For Sharing…
“J” is for…
Ka-BONK!
Sieg Heil, Littlest Briston
When Did My Daughter Move To Savannah?
How Not To Talk About Your Kids
I’ve Taken On An Ever-So-Fun New Hobby
My Daughter Called The Cops On Me
The Joys Of Instilling Terror In Your Child
Cruelty To Children (bonus DoMeBo content!)
GENERAL FAVORITES! – Random threads that I look back on, and think “Hey, that didn’t suck…”:
Be Amazed By My Culinary Discovery!
Oh Well, No New Culinary Adventure For Me…
Voice Mail Karaoke (a.k.a. Abject Humiliation)
Nice To Meet You, Psycho Painter Guy
Wow, That’s A Lot Of Maggots (TMI, Not For Lunchtime Reading)
Hi, I’m A Dumbass And My Dog Is Dead…
Nigel Tufnel Designed My Air Conditioner (for no real reason other than…well…Nigel Tufnel designed my air conditioner!)
Know What’s Worse Than Discovering A Pile Of Cat Puke In The Kitchen?
Yes! Victory Is MINE!!
“Sorry, Wrong Number. Oh, Unless I’m Just A Big, Fat Liar”
It’s Time To Play “Spot The Crime”!
The Horror In The Basement
How NOT To Open A Box (A Photo Essay)
I’m Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Sorry
To sum up, thanks to everyone here for putting up with my rambling posts, my one-sentence wise-ass comments, and my overuse of ellipsis for the past five and a half years.
Thanks for all the times you’ve answered my questions, gave me ammo to prove me right in an argument, and made me laugh so hard that a liiiittle bit of pee came out.
Thanks to everyone who’s come up and said “hi” at a meet-up – especially if you managed to restrain yourself from making a bad sheep joke (good ones are just fine).
Thanks to you all – you make this my favorite place to be when I really should be getting some work done.
