$2,000 for sex with....

In My Humble Opinion
61

It sounds like he’s just trying to break you - finding the price point at which you’ll cave. This isn’t about desire, just a power game.

As soon as you say yes, then the real price negotiations will begin. And they won’t be starting at 2K, I can bet. As someone has already pointed out, there are plenty of desperate young girls out there who’ll do whatever he wants for much less. From what you say, he’s likely to be well known amongst your local hooker community, and they probably despise him.

Remember, he might well pull this line with dozens of women for kicks and for effect. Laugh at the twit and move on.
(also, you don’t want to catch anything - he sounds rank)

62

He obviously would pay more, though. Find out his ceiling, then reject the offer. Then you can feel satisfied on two fronts: that you rejected him out of moral and ethical superiority and that you were worth X dollars to someone.

I mean heck, you could get him up to $20,000… :wink:

63

What Rapunzel said.

This isn’t about a man wanting to have sex. He can do that without all this chasing and dealing and high tariff. This is about a man playing a power game. He wants to beat you, and win the game, just so that he can say he did. He’s probably going to say he won anyway.

I don’t know the guy, but I’m going to offer you a guess here. An educated, experienced guess. He’s vile, he’s scum, he’s trash, he has no respect for himself, you or anyone else, and there isn’t any distance you could put between you and him that would count as too much.

Don’t play this game. It can get nasty. As soon as you say ‘Yes’, under whatever terms of inducement, he can claim that counts as consent. Do you really want to be part of a trial or a court case where this point is being debated? Do you want a starring role in a rape or assault case where some skank lawyer is asking “Answer the question, yes or no, did you or did you not consent to have sex with this man?”.

I’m sorry you’re broke. Money problems can be hell. Been there, done that, T-shirt in the cupboard. But involvement with creeps like this is worse. At the moment, you got money worries. If you went ahead with Norman Bates’s Sex Plan, afterwards you’d have money worries PLUS guilt PLUS more attention from this creep. Frying pan to fire. He’s never going to actually come up with the two grand, and even if he did, you’d be paying a higher price than the money you pay into your bank account.

And what do you want to tell the next nice guy you meet that you actually want to sleep with for all the good reasons in the world, like love and that kind of shimmering stuff? “Oh, by the way, this precious, intimate, significant way we have of expressing how we feel… yeah, I once did it for money. Is that okay?”.

Not only did you do the right thing, but you did the wise and the sensible thing. Heck, I’ll send you $10 just to get yourself a good bottle of wine and brighten your spirits.

  • Ianzin. Male. Old (very). Not broke.
64

At which point you are advocating for MOL to totally debase herself and give up her personal integrity and dignity after she has already reported that she said no.

If you can’t respect her decision, then may I kindly suggest you take your insensitivity and yourself on a hike?

She said no; she’s aware that she’s out $2000.00; she has, from all appearances, decided to continue to say no - hell, she even said she’d contact the Wife, if she could!

Because this isn’t the Pit, I won’t go on with the rest of my wondering if you actually get laid at all, because of your apparent disrespect towards a woman, her body, and her decision.

I’ll just assume you prefer chimpanzees over apes.

:rolleyes:

65

For starters, selling your skills and selling your body are two different things. Would you consider it immoral if you sleep with your superior to get a raise?

Hm, this case is a bit different. See the guy has a wife, so you can’t claim that nobody gets hurt blah blah blah.

66

The marriage is already in trouble if this guy’s doing this shit.

67

initially, when i read the question, i thought sure why not! but when i read further and found it wasn’t hypothetical, my reaction changed. i think if i was in this situation i would start to question why is it this guy needs to pay.

68

meanoldlady i guess you have made the right decision by fending the old lecherous bastard off.i am from india and i have lots of friends in the US who are studying in different univs right now.and nearly al of them face the cash crunch. i know its really tough to manage with quite a little bit of cash but i bet years later you can still look at yourself in the mirror with the some respect cause u refused to succumb to temptations when u were really low.and it will be every bit worth it.i hope as hell that u will find some way to solve ur money problem.

69

leander asks

Yes.

Urban Ranger opines

Yes, if the only way I could get the raise was to have sex with her. I would also object if I were given the opportunity to do so while others were not. That wouldn’t be fair. But this isn’t really the issue. This guy isn’t MOL’s boss. And I think the differentiation between “selling skills” and “selling my body” is false. I can just as easily say I’m “selling” my sexual skills as say “selling” my body.

and continues

This guy’s wife is not MOL’s responsibility. And how do you know that his wife would be “hurt” by this? have you met her? Or are you just assuming what her reactions would be?

I entered this thread not because of the specifics of whether this guy is playing some sort of power game with MOL or whatever. I posted because of the mind-numbingly simplistic “don’t do it becaue then you’ll be a whore” responses offered by many. Note that I didn’t even offer an opinion of whether or not MOL should or shouldn’t do this, just that whatever decision she makes I support it.

70

You’re worth much more. And the fact that you had to come on here and ask means that saying no was the right decision. Good luck to you.

71

They can be the same thing. Most of us are hired for our skills, and selling our body to the same people to whom we sell our skills when others do not is unethical. However, when the workplace isn’t even an issue - such as here - then your body is one of your skills, and hence the two are the same.

72

I’m with Rapunzel and ianzin on this one. Until a few weeks ago I was a poor college student (I’m still poor, but now I’m a college graduate!), and I can understand the allure of two grand. But I’m sure MeanOldLady did the right thing to refuse him, because it’s dangeous to get involved with someone who won’t take “no” for an answer. MOL told him no, so he offered her money. She told him “no” again, and he upped the price. This went on until he was offering $2,000. This is a guy who doesn’t respect other people or their boundaries.

Personally, I wouldn’t trust that this guy was really good for the money, even if he did offer half up front – what could I do if he wrote me a bad check in exchange for illegal services? – but I’d be more concerned that he’d pay me half up front and then brutally rape and/or kill me. And I have a little maxim I like to live by: “Never put yourself in a situation where you are likely to end up having to be identified by your dental records”. This sounds like such a situation to me.

73

This is an incorrect statment. Sex is a skill just like fixing an air conditioner, flying a jet or mixing a martini. It just happens to use your genitals instead of your hands. Read Larry Nivens Ringworld (the Prill portion of the book) for more information about that.

I would not consider it immoral to sleep with the boss to get a raise, and if my boss was gay/bi I might even think about it.

74

One more note I forgot to include in my last post:

MeanOldLady: FWIW, I am glad you said no. From reading your posts on this subject I feel you would have regretted it in the long run.

You had to make the decision for yourself, and I think you made the right one in your situation. Now, go get some real sex from some hunky college dude. :D:D:D

75

What’s with this moral issue? For goodness sake, do youthink about anyone you’ve had sex with ten years ago? I don’t. If some older woman wanted to bang me for two grand I’d do it. I’m sorry. Sex for money with a married person just doesn’t seem bad of whorish to me. Maybe by definition.

Two grand for a few minutes of something you may enjoy…You point out the fact that those saying you should do it are male, poor and both…well, maybe we know that it isn’t bad and you should make the quick buck…change your mind and pay your bills…

76

Well this just set off my alarm bells. I agree that he’s playing a power game and not entering into a business transaction.

I had just assumed that the transaction, as it were, would involve an up-front cash payment. You can rest assured that whatever you don’t get up front, he will stiff you for (so to speak).

I strongly suspect that if you were to agree to this and get only $1000 up front (which I’m sure would with some excuse turn into only a few hundred when you met to do the deed), he would require additional service to get the remainder (if he were to give you any opportunity to get it at all).

77

Quiet you. When did I ever say I thought my vagina was “some kind of holy land”? I’m not too keen on sleeping with married men. I don’t care how much money he’s offering or if his marriage is already in trouble. I don’t want to be a part of it.

People, this guy isn’t some dirty, sweaty, hairy old man. He’s a 33 yr old obscenely rich, suit wearin’, Benz driving, big ass house living hot shot. This guy doesn’t need to pay anything. Everyone who’s mentioned the power trip deal is probably right. One day a coupla months back he casually asked how I was doing. I was in a really foul mood, so I started going off about how I don’t have any money, and I owe all these people, and I can’t ask my parents because they don’t have one red cent, I’m angry, I’m frustrated, bla bla bla. As if he were going to solve all of my problems, the guy starts offering me money for sex. The guy was acting like he was doing me a favor. The thing is when he made his first offer, I was REALLY, really desperate, and he knew it. And this, fellow dopers, is how it all began. This guy has got to be trying to break me. He knows I need money BADLY and he’s got waaaaaay too much of that green stuff to spare. Way way waaaaay too much. I know it sounds fishy to a handful of you, but I guess you really have to know him to know why I believe him.

Another thing, I think all of the people who said no without hesitation have no idea what it’s like to be poor. I’m not talking people who say that’s a tough one and then ultimately decide upon no. I mean the people who didn’t even blink an eye before decided that they definitely would NOT. And I’m not talking “man, I need my next paycheck in a hurry” kind of poor either. I’m talking straddling the legal poverty line your whole life poor. I mean the kind of poor that makes you throw your head back and cackle upon reading things like “$2,000 isn’t that much money.” Now if you’re in that kind of situation, even if you do say no, you’re are GOING to think long and hard about it.

78

The thread immediately over this one is titled “Some things are just worth the extra money.” :smiley:

One reason I might say no, if I were a woman and needed the money (and there’s times I would have needed the money myself): tax and theft implications. No, really. If he pays you by check, the IRS is going to wonder where that $2,000 came from. If he pays you in cash, better have a safe place to hide that cash.

Although if I were moving out of the city the next week, and needed the money to put up the down payment on a place to live…I dunno. I still probably wouldn’t do it myself.

79

I’m wondering if he wasn’t trying to lead you into a life of prostitution. It might be worth having a word with the police.

80

MOL you need to take into account that a man whose morals are THAT fucked up can’t be trusted to keep his word that if you do it it’ll be just between you and him.

Consider this scenario …

You do it. You collect the 2k. He goes around bragging that he nailed you (minus the part about the money). What are you gonna do? Clear your good name by saying “I only did it because he paid me!”

And of COURSE he’ll brag. A man who goes around offering young women money for sex could care less if his wife finds out. If he’s that rich, chances are she’s under his thumb and dependent on him and he’s doing whatever he wants to and she can’t do anything about it.

Even if you vehemently denied that you ever slept with him, your reputation will still be sullied. And it is damn near impossible to recover a good reputation once it’s shot.