Funny, I don’t see any sobbing …
Well, dantheman, I concede that I was deliberately being an asshat with that last reply of mine, but the core point stands: Mockingbird’s contribution to this thread is hijack after hijack and since the reply to me was especially weird (I’ll get to that in a moment), I’d prefer the hijacks to stop (even though I am doing it myself at the moment) and would rather have a pit thread. I don’t know, maybe I’ll get a reply here and will open one myself, heh 
Anyway, back to the OP: I pointed out that my principles have never been tested and that it is commendable if someone else can resist such an offer, even though she is in a tough spot, moneywise.
My contribution to the OP was not some great insight on the matter in general, it was in fact “my humble opinion” and intended as a thumbs up and salute for meanoldlady.
So, I get a cryptic reply from Mockingbird bemoaning some sort of moral posturing. Not being a native speaker and not being someone who was fond of solving riddles, I point out that the whole thing didn’t make any sense to me.
As a reply, I get a nicely covered barb, aimed at my comprehension level or language ability. Next up is her defense of the constant hijacks, which basically amounts to “the other people are dragging down the OP. (wah, wah, wah)”
Maybe it wasn’t whiny per se, but it sure was kinda obnoxious. Or maybe I am the bad guy here, who knows
I’m guessing Mockingbird thought you did understand what she meant and were being intentionally obtuse. Of course, this being a written medium and all, perhaps that was not the right assumption.
Just to return to MeanOldLady’s question, no, I would not have sex with anyone for money - married or unmarried. I can understand the temptation (especially when one really is desperate for cash), and I can certainly accept that others would do differently. But I personally wouldn’t.
That said, it’s really a matter of what feels right to YOU, not what your friends think, or what your mother would think, or what Dopers think.
And on a side note, I hope this thread doesn’t go Pit-wards. Because it really is a complicated question, and one that deserves consideration and sharing of viewpoints, not sniping and nastiness.
well said, kn*ckers - on both the OP point and the Pit point.
Regarding the OP, it is a relative issue. Some people - whether it is out of desperation, ambition, greed, whatever - are capable of either moral relativism (“hey, getting the money was more important to me than going hungry”) or compartmentalization. I don’t know how many successful movie stars, athletes, business people, etc. did things that could be construed as hard decisions or could be construed as morally repugnant, all depending on who you are and whether you think the ends justify the means.
Do we know if some super-famous star slept with a casting director (man or woman)? Or what about the actresses trying to juice their careers in Playboy - it actually worked for a couple of them - I am thinking of Kim Basinger and Sharon Stone, who both posed before they achieved true celebrity status, AFAIK. What about Madonna’s photos in Penthouse? She became one of the most famous people in the world. Their choice, and who am I to judge them?
So MeanOldLady it is up to you - if you can do it and keep it compartmentalized, that is your call. You have already made your decision and therefore it seems you could not, which is cool. I couldn’t do it either, but that is about who I am, not a judgment on others. I think that those who would do it are running a higher risk along a variety of dimensions, but that’s a personal choice…
Glad you are content with your decision.
But, since the thread is still open, thought I’d add myself to the folk who would probably do it.
If you are sexually active and not in a serious relationship yourself, I don’t see the major harm.
When I think back on my college days, I wasn’t all that selective about who I was having sex with - and for sure none of my partners were offering me $2G!
IME, people would engage in sex for drugs, or would go on trips with the understanding that they would have sex while away. And one-night-stands were not at all uncommon.
I don’t see how a memory such as this would be all that bad.
So, to not ignore the hostile, judgemental, and perjorative terms about prostitutes is sobbing?
How minimizing and patronizing.
Yes. I’m not saying you should do it, but you should reconsider. If he wasn’t married and if we were allowed to advocate breaking the law on the SDMB, I’d tell you to go for it. Absent the marriage, I wouldn’t consider the exchange to be immoral or distasteful at all. You have to figure out how dire your straits are. Are you supporting kids on a meagre salary with a dead-beat ex-husband, or are you a college student thinking that the money would make a good spring break? I think that’s the relevant question.
Whatever. You’re funny, heh 
Questions of morality and taste should take a backseat to issues of personal safety, and I am astounded that anyone could look at the situation described by MeanOldLady and not see that it is a dangerous one. MOL never offered to have sex in exchange for money, she had an offer of money made to her by a man she had refused. Repeatedly. Each time she said no, he offered her even more money in an attempt to bribe her into doing something she did not want to do.
This is not prostitution in any normal sense of the word. It is an encounter with a man who won’t take “no” for an answer, a man who thinks that his money can and should get him whatever he desires. If he were merely interested in sex with a woman not his wife, he could get that for free – or from a professional for much less than he is offering MOL. So he must be interested in something more than just sex. Something like controlling another person. Making her do something she isn’t comforable with. And maybe humiliating or hurting her very, very badly.
MOL would do well to stay as far away from this guy as she can, and if I were her I’d go to the police if he made me another offer he hoped I couldn’t refuse. However you feel about prostitution, I hope you can recognize that it is wrong to use bribery and coercion to bend other people to your will.
OK, I am going to suggest you say “no” to the sex, but “yes” to the money. Some will say “huh?”, but listen.
Trust me, having had some strippers (& hookers) as girlfreinds (and freinds). There is actually a BIG gap between showing off your naked body for cash (nothing wrong with that, IMHO) and “selling your ass”= degrading. MOL- if you are have no hang ups about nudity- then I suggest this: Offer him either a “killer nude/topless massage, with NO SEX, but you’ll be happy (and maybe you can “let your fingers do the walking” if you know what I mean)”- or a “dynamite topless/nude lapdance” (you DO know what a “lapdance” is?).
Neither is “cheating”- IMHO. Both are mostly legal- IANAL, YMMV- or at least are on that ragged edge of legality. True, a bit “sleazy”, but not “degrading”- assuming, again, you have no big nudity taboos.
And- there is that money aspect. You need it, he has it. You perfom a “legal” service, he pays you. Win/Win.
Unless he decides that he’d rather just rape her, and then MOL’s the big loser. He’s already proven he doesn’t respect the answer “no”. If MOL accepts this man’s money, there’s nothing to stop him from doing whatever he likes to her. She’d stand a good chance of being prosecuted for prostitution herself if she attempted to press charges. It’s difficult enough to get a conviction with any acquaintance-rape case (and this guy sounds like he can afford some good lawyers), far more so if the victim has just accepted a huge amount of money in exchange for a “nude massage”.
Two grand is far more than the going rate for a strip show or plain, vanilla sex. What judge or jury is going to believe he gave her $2,000 and the deal didn’t include sex? Or that the deal didn’t include something more than sex, like a bit of the ol’ ultraviolence?
Um… in 1984, when Sydney Biddle Barrows(the Mayflower Madam) ran Cachet, the going rate was $350 per hour.
$2000 could be easily rung up then.
That’s 19 years ago.
I think you have no clue what you are talking about.
You have the correct assumption.
And I’m as much of a she as Otto is.
Respectfully, you are so sexist. Every man is a potential rapist. You don’t know anything about this guy or their relationship. I’ve known people who would drop hundreds of dollars at a strip bar and receive virtually no physical contact, so for someone with a phat salary two G’s may not be that big of a deal. I’ve had crushes on women, and if I thought that it would be okay to pay them for sex and if I made shitloads of money I might be willing to haggle a healthy sum for an evening together. That wouldn’t make me a rapist, it would make me a guy with shitloads of money who likes to haggle and has a crush on some particular woman.
Of course, that’s not reality. I’m poor and very uncomfortable with the idea of sex being an economic transaction. But that doesn’t make you any less sexist. Just as it is sexist and wrong of me to consider a woman a whore with no integrity if she works as a prostitute, it is sexist and wrong for you to consider a man a rapist for being willing to haggle for sex with a woman.
Issues of personal safety are important. Since MOL had decided no, it’s moot. But if she did want to do it, she could do make sure a friend knew where she was going and how long she’d be there, and make sure her customer knew that that was the case.
It sounds as if MOL knows who the guy is – if she’s got his real name and address, there’s not much he could get away with as far as violence, and he’d know it. This is not an absolute guarantee that he won’t get violent, but it’s more than most women have when they go out on a date with a new boyfriend.
I do think they guy’s insistence is a little strange. Could be simply that he’s smitten with her, guys do get smitten, even if all they want is a sexual relationship. But caution would be in order here, for sure.
Bravo. Well said.
My apologies for assuming. I took one too many classes in statistics.
And thanks, I’ve always liked my nose. I would point out we all have noses with a certain shade of blue. You cannot decry the immorality of personal values. Everybody has some kind of value system.
The opening question by Meanoldlady sounded like she was posing a moral question. My response was meant to test how Meanoldlady felt about herself. The fact you think I have a blue nose suggests I hit a softspot. Not to worry, I still respect you and it’s not even morning.
Whoa, whoa, I’m back. Jesus Christ on a crutch, I had papers being rammed up my anal cavity. Finals suck. Now let us all thank Gord they are over. But back to the point…
Damn it, you’re right. I was almost reconsidering it too. I actually asked him why me, and he didn’t give me much of an answer. He just kind of smiled and asked why not.
His marriage wouldn’t make a difference to you?
Ah, a bluenose and a hypocrite! Or did you somehow think that
was not an example of “decry[ing] the immorality of personal values”?
As for hitting a sore spot, true enough, but not over the “whore” issue. Instead, it was over the condescension of your post, and the tone of unassailable moral superiority.