Ok.
But wouldn’t it be even more illegal if he didn’t pay?
See post 40.
One night stands are illegal? :eek: 
Oh Christ. Please go to a jurisdiction where prostitution is legal and hire yourself a hooker. You are clearly fixated on the idea and I think actually doing so will finally demystify this activity for you and allow you to move on with your life.
I was thinking more like theft of service or breach of contract.
I edited my post to make it clear to make it clear the illegal activity is paying for sex, not seeing an escort. Despite what you said in post 31, it’s clear in the lines I quoted that you were talking about having sex with the escort and paying for it. That’s generally not legal in the U.S., and the OP appears to not be in Nevada anyhow. So don’t suggest it and let this tangent die.
That’s enough, thanks.
No, she decided you were a hopeless loser that was never going to allow the relationship to develop. After giving you ample opportunity with no results, she decided to move on.
Why didn’t you make a move? If you wanted the relationship to progress, the ball was in your court. If you didn’t want it to progress, why are you posting about it?
I suggest that you print your OP and take it with you when you seek out the services of a shrink. (That isn’t being said to be mean. If you really want a relationship with a woman and you, at age 25, bungled this situation as badly as you claim, you need some serious help.)
The money spent on a shrink would be better spent on a few nights at some bars buying girls drinks.
Not if he, as the OP indicates, either can’t or won’t take things to the next level. I’m a big fan of bars myself, but you have to be able to move things along. This guy needs some help!
You people keep asking him why he didn’t make a move. Because he was scared shitless, and probably didn’t know what to do or didn’t understand the queues she gave, OR DIDN’T GIVE.
This shit is difficult for some of us. For you to keep asking, “why didn’t you do such and such” doesn’t make sense. Like asking a blind person why they didn’t see the wall they ran into. We’re not all wired the same. What you perceive to be easy or achievable, even if difficult but you can press on, may be magnified 10x more in difficulty for others.
I’m not going to say get a prostitute or escort, illegally :). But within those categories, there something called a GFE (Girl Friend Experience). If I understand correctly, the GFE entails going out in public (dinner, movie), will give emotional support, and of course the main course :). So if you’re ever in Nevada or the Red Light District, only then would I suggest it for somewhere where it is legal.
Just a question but under which laws? Rhode Island and Nevada IIRC it’s legal., and a trip to one of those locals would be legal as well.
-
There’s many people who passed their 20s w/o making the connection and lived… And while someone’s still in their mid-20s there should be absolutely no dishonor in admitting you’ve never been in a serious relationship or that you’re a virgin and though interested, you really don’t know how to handle it. Yes, it’s true that many people sometimes cop a “I don’t have the time to be anyone’s teacher, if by the time you get to me you don’t know, there must be something wrong with you” attitude towards potential partners… but hey, there are others who don’t (really, taking that attitude to someone barely 26 is unfair, goodness gracious I look at myself at 25 and I can’t believe how immature and unprepared for life I was). But “25 and never been in a relationship”, or even “25 and virgin” or even 35 and in one of those situations, is NOT intrinsecally “bad” in and of itself – the situation is a problem because it’s causing him stress and anxiety that interferes with normal progress of life, not because it merely exists.
-
Speaking of which, “crippling self doubt” or “paralyzing fear” COULD be a sign of anxiety disorder or some other state of emotional stress that could potentially benefit from some professional counseling if only so that you can identify what is it, in order to properly address it. If something is causing someone emotional pain and anxiety it is RIGHT to seek counseling. “Just jump in” doesn’t work for everyone, be it at swimming or at relationships.
-
Praised be Opal, Marley23 has decreed a stop to the tangent I intended to address in this item and I thank you for that.
-
In any case I’m going to have to side with KarlGrenze and Mississippienne in that “find a way to have some sex and get that over with” seems like something too facile that would not help much – the man needs to know what to do in normal relations. It may be that what paralyzes him is not the part where you get to the sex, but the part where you merely get to demonstrate sincere interest in the person. Because, funny thing, even if both parties are looking for a booty-call “hookup” (that’s what you kids call it now, right? I’m from back when we used to “date”, positively antediluvian…), there are still expectations of how to comport yourself. And to many an anxious young lad, THAT was what really was the huge hurdle: “OMG, all I can think of is 'So, let’s f**’* WTH is it I’m supposed to say and do BEFORE it gets to that?!?” And we know THAT does not have one “right” answer, does it…
I’m afraid you’re living in utopia. Nowadays, when everybody looking for a partner is so experienced at scrutinizing potential mates for what they think, hear, or read is “normal,” there are going to be warning signs and red flags up against anyone who doesn’t pass every last little meaningless test, and anyone with the slightest tremor of a hint of a result outside the “normal” range is off the list.
It’s all bullshit, true, but much of living a mature, productive, and meaningful life these days involves tolerating, adapting to, and even professing to believe various kinds of bullshit. In fact, a highly insensitive bullshit detector might be the most reliable sign of mature and stable adulthood there is.
With respect, you’re projecting your issues on to him. I reread the post to be sure and he doesn’t say anything to suggest he’s scared.
He doesn’t suggest any reason at all for not making moves which is why we’re asking him. The only thing I really see from his post is that he’s somewhat schizoid - “I guess I’m just hard to know”, “I just couldn’t connect with her”, “I don’t have many friends”.
There’s nothing suggestive of fear or anxiety.
Yeah, and after a while they realize, “Y’know what, this is stupid, I can’t rule out 95% of humankind over meaningless tests of perfection and hope to get anywhere. Let me refocus on screening for the important shit.” Part of “mature, productive” life is being able to discriminate which bullshit you can live with and which you don’t have to take.
Yeah, I’ll be sure and bring that up at my next job interview.
Ok, a couple of things:
Being a 25 year old virgin, you are definitely behind the curve in terms of sexual development. I’m not judging. That’s simply a fact. And you clearly realize this, otherwise it wouldn’t be an issue.
And I can relate to what you are feeling. I mean I could when I was a teenager. Society provides so many mixed messages about sex, I’m surprised anyone gets laid anymore. You want to find someone you share a connection with, but don’t want to seem like an asshole “player” just looking for sex. It’s uncool to be a virgin but it’s also uncool to use women just for sex. It’s all very confusing.
What I’ve found is it’s best to say “fuck it” (no pun intended).
First of all, it’s ok to hit on women (just as long as you aren’t creepy). If you go out with a girl and you don’t make a move by the second date, they tend to be like WTF.
Second, you’re a young guy. Heck I’m a young guy and I’m ten years older than you. It’s perfectly ok to meet a girl in a bar, have sex with her and decide it’s just a one night thing. Not for me though because I have a girlfriend.
Finally, who knows when love will strike? I don’t think you can approach dating with the expectation to hit it out of the park with one girl. You need to approach it with the intent to sleep with as many women as possible until you stumble on “the one”.
MHO of course.
What exactly are you trying? Several other people have made this point, but if you’re too afraid to make a move or do anything, it’s not a surprise that the girls pull the plug, sooner or later. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but they do need a reason to stick around.
Whether you need therapy to get to this point or not, sooner or later you need to get out there and take some chances.
I just wanted to say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being a virgin - don’t let the comments in this thread make you think otherwise. Wait until you’re with the right girl. Sex isn’t something you just do for fun, it entails a lot of emotional attachment and stuff.
And don’t be scared of us girls! We’re just as intimidated by boys, but we get over it. You type with great grammar and spelling, and that’s a turn-on to many of us women in and of itself 
I think you should give internet dating a shot. At least that way, you can practice a little on interacting with women. I haven’t done much internet dating, but I have friends who’ve had great success with it. Good luck!