Dilton, on the sole basis that I don’t know who the heck Gyro Gearloose is.
Monica Rambeau versus Renee Montoya.
I give it to Monica Rambeau mainly because I got sick of Renee Montoya’s story in 52.
Boomerang vs. Captain Boomerang Jr.
I think Junior is the more effective user of boomerangs. He’s certainly been shown as being more effective than Boomerang has.
Longshot vs. Gladstone Gander… in a coin flip! (Assuming both want to win the coin flip and Longshot has a reason to want it that keeps him pure of heart.)
The coin is flipped on the last page, leaving us in suspense. In the next comic Mojo and his henchman have burst into the room interrupting everything. Longshot pulls Gander to safety while narrowly escaping the bullets. And they’re soon rescued when the good guys show up.
They emerge from their protective hiding to find a coin balanced on it’s edge. Longshot puts it in his pocket. Winner: Longshot.
Next battle: Cable vs. Stryfe
They face off but they keep saying the same thing at the same time to one another…
“It looks like it’s down to you and…”
“Hey!”
“Stop that!”
“Jinx! Buy me a Coke!”
"A-B-C-D-E-F-banana!!!"
“This is ridiculous.”
The stereoscopic interchange is ended as they break into a duet of “Anything you can do, I can do better.”
Then they catch a glimpse of the Doublemint™ twins walk by. They turn to one another and say…
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
They run after the comely lasses and the fight is forfeit.
Dan DiDio vs. Joe Quesada
Joe Quesada in a walk, if for no other reason than his universe is slightly more internally consistant.
Willow Rosenberg vs Mandrake the Magician.
Hah, her eyes go black and she wipes the floor with his intestines. Buffy shows up to attempt to put her in check, but Willow lashes out and Buffy becomes incapacitated. It isn’t until Thor shows up and blasts everyone involved away with a lightning bolt…
Heavyweight Bout: Thor vs. The Hulk
OR
Batman vs. The Joker, stipulation is, The Joker knows Bruce Wayne is Batman.
Oh, come on. Thor is a freaking GOD. He’s got the whole Norse mythology thing going. Odin, Ragnarok, that freakin’ hammer. The Hulk is just a lab experiment gone bad. Thor flies around smiting Hulk with his hammer until he goes crying back to his petrie dish.
I was interested in a battle of weaklings. Initially, I was going to suggest Empowered vs. Paste Pot Pete.
However, I remembered that Empowered was trounced a villain called “Glue Gun Gil” already, and if Glue Gun Gil could take her, surely Paste Pot Pete could, too. So I needed someone even more pathetic than Paste Pot Pete. I finally decided on Seanbaby’s concept of The Riddler.
It’s not really a matter of who wins. It’s a matter of who loses least. Have at.
Hulk wins if Thor decides to make it a slugfest. Thor’s been beaten by physically superior foes before. If Thor uses his brain even a little, he wins.
Batman wins in the long run becuase anybody that learns his identity either dies or becomes a good guy.
Emma Frost vs Saturn Girl in her 1970s costume, in a heavily-oiled cage match.
We all win.
And Empowered needs an assist to win anything. It doesn’t matter who she fights.
MMMS vs. FOOM vs. Marvel Zombies
I had to Google MMMS and FOOM before answering this.
i don’t play Half-Life so FOOM is out and I’m tired of the Marvel Zombies so they’re out, too. The MMMS sounds awesome and I’d join it now just for the buttons.
The Abomination vs. Savage Dragon
FOOM isn’t from Half-Life. It’s the second Marvel fan group. It went Merry Marvel Marching Society, then they made Friends of Old Marvel, and then their fans were called Marvel Zombies but there wasn’t an official organization.
Both hardcore badasses, but the Savage Dragon is the bigger badass. They both beat the pulp out of one another until the Savage Dragon lands a good knockout punch. Battle is two comics, at least.
Next: Deadpool vs. Venom
…oh.
Thanks for clearing that up. I thought the Marvel Zombies you were mentioning were the undead heroes from the recent series. Sorry.
Deadpool talks circles around Venom, confusing him enough until he gets a clear shot and puddinizes Gargan’s head.
Ten Hydra Agents vs. Ten AIM Agents
Hydra wins after spending ten minutes snickering at AIM’s big square masks.
Geek rage match!:
At their respective primes-
HEAT vs. Girl-Wonder.org
Hal Jordan is back. H.E.A.T. wins.
Captain Marvel vs. Captain Marvel?
Genis versus Mar-vell? Genis showed much more power, but Mar-vell was all around better at using it.
Billy Batson versus any Marvel version? The human, female Captain Marvel has the best chance, but the only thing keeping Batson’s Captain Marvel from destroying them is a tray of milk and Oreos.
Richard Dragon versus Shang Chi?
Oooo…good one. I give it to Richard Dragon because I believe he’s willing to fight dirty. Richard wins after a spinning backfist of fury to Shang Chi’s nutsack.
Monkeyman vs. Monsiour Mallah.
(I’ve been on here too much, but damn it, this is a fun thread)
Monkeyman keeps better company. (I dig redheads and am an avowed Art Adams fan so I have no choice but to give it to the good guys).
Next up: No-hold-barred cage match featuring Ma Kent and Aunt May!
Two seniors enter, one (or less) seniors leave!