What? You never heard of independent evolution?
Chastain86’s (from Phoenix, I might add) joke was similar in nature, but was ethnic. Mine (from Colorado) targeted faith. That and we Coloradans crack Phoenecian jokes all the time. 
That’s all BS. I think I’ve posted elsewhere that I am an idiot. This is the only thing proven here. 
Two spiral galaxies walk into a bar. The barman looks up, and says to the first galaxy, “I’ll serve you, but not your friend. He’s barred.”
Waits for the tumbleweed…
<crickets>
Its astronomy humour. We have very very twisted senses of humour.
Guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and sits quietly drinking it. Then he hears a small voice say, “Nice tie.” He looks around, but it’s just he and the bartender, and the bartender is at the other end, washing glasses.
He sips a little more, and again…he hears a voice say, “That’s a fabulous shirt.”
He turns to the bartender and says, “Excuse me. Are you talking to me?”
The bartender says, “No. It must be the peanuts. They’re complimentary.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I think I’ve told this joke somewhere else on the boards, so forgive me if you’ve heard it before…
WARNING This joke is only funny when told to a large group of tipsy people.
Two whales walk in to a bar. The first whale looks at the second and says:
UUUUHHHHHHHNNNG eeeeeeeeeeeUUUUUUUUUUUng eeeeoooooooEEEEEE
(See, this is where you make whale noises for about 5 minutes. If you do it right, people will be laughing. If you do it wrong, people will be ignoring you.)
An guy from Ireland, a guy from Massachusetts, and a guy from Texas walk into a bar. The Irish guy orders a Guinness, the Mass guy orders a Sam Adams, and the Texas guy orders a Shiner Bock. Well, three flies just happened to fly over and fall into each one of the beers, so each guy has a fly. The guy from Mass frowns and asks the bartender for a new beer. The guy from Texas shrugs and flicks the fly out of the glass. The Irish guy picks up the fly by the wings and screams, “Spit it out, ya wee bastard!! Spit it out!!”
Thank you, thank you.
This reminds me of a battery of Sllestack jokes my drinking buddy & I came up with one fine St. Patrick’s day afternoon.
Two Sleestack walk into a bar and approach the bartender. “HSSSsssssssssss” says the first to the bartender. Before the bartender can respond, the second says, “HHHssssssssss Hsssss.” They then just stare at the bartender who is absolutely terrified. The first Sleestack repeats, “HSSSsssssssssss” and then shoots the bartender with his crossbow.
And then there’s:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
“HSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssss”
We were pretty well tanked when we were telling these but man we had a great time.
Stop me if you have heard this one before.
A guy walks into a bar.
Have you heard this one before?
I don’t get it. What’s a Sleestack?
Snork. I thought it was funny, Angua. I love your jokes.
(I recently succumbed and started a livejournal. It consists mainly of me posting jokes and then saying “What do you mean, you haven’t seen the Seventh Seal? What kind of ignoramus can’t deduce the Pauli Exclusion principle from that joke?” )
Besides, it’s fairly obvious that ‘barred’ is a type of galaxy, even if you don’t know that.
A magician is walking down the street, and he turns into a bar.
A priest, a rabbi, and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The bartender says to the leprechaun, “Hey, buddy, are you sure you’re in the right joke?”
Sorry. I have a weakness for metahumor.
Horse goes into a bar.
Barman says “Why the long face?”
Horse replies “because we are all just solitary specks whirling our insignificant lives in the well of loneliness, our tortured souls howling into the blackness as our brief lives are extinguished in the futility of existence.”
Barman says “Fuck me, a talking horse.”
not the funniest here by far, but…
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, “You can come in, but don’t start anything!”
A man walks into a bar and orders nine shots of rotgut. The bartender asks, “Why nine shots?”
The guy says, “I just got my first blowjob.”
“Congratulations! How about I buy you the tenth shot on the house?”
“Nah”, says the guy, “if nine shots don’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothin’ will.”
A mushroom walks into a bar, orders a beer.
Bartender: We don’t serve your kind here.
Mushroom: Why not? I’m a fungi!
Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was a salted.
(assaulted)… heh
A guy goes up to a bar and orders a beer. A leprechaun runs over and stands on the bar in front of him. The guy puts down his beer and is about to ask him what he wants when the leprechaun all the sudden WOOOOSH! spits a large amount of yellow liquid in the guy’s face.
The guy’s pissed, but just wipes his face and continues drinking. A few minutes later, the leprechaun comes back in front of his face and WOOOOSH! spits the yellow liquid in his face again.
This time, the guy calls over the bartender and says to him, “Next time that fucking leprechaun comes over and goes WOOOOSH! in my face again, I’m gonna cut off his dick!”
The bartender replies, “You can’t. He doesn’t have one.”
“He doesn’t? How does he piss?”
WOOOOSH!
An extremely drunk guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “Hey, howshabout givin’ me a shot a bourbon on the houshe!” The bartender says no.
“C’mon, jusht one little drink. I’ll shing for ya.” The bartender still tells him no.
“C’mon, tell ya what, you gimme a drink, and I’ll fart the National Anthem for ya.”
The bartender still tells him no, but the other bar patrons want to hear the drunk fart the National Anthem, and they eventually convince the bartender to agree.
After downing his shot, the drunk gets on top of the bar, turns around, and pulls down his pants, exposing his bare ass. All the sudden he spews out liquid shit, spraying feces all over the bar, the glasses, the bottles and the other drinkers.
The angry bartender shouts “Goddammit, why the hell did you do that? You said you were going to fart the National Anthem!”
The drunk replies, “Hey. Even Frank Shinatra had to clear hish throat every once in a while.”
A very angry drunk comes into a bar and roars at the top of his lungs, “Everyone on this side of the bar is a fucking cocksucker! Anybody wanna make something of it?” Of course no one wanted to confront the furious man, so they remained silent. The drunk then says, “And everyone on this side of the bar is a goddamned motherfucker! Anybody wanna make something of it?” Well to everyone’s suprise a man on that side of the room stands up! The drunk screams, “You wanna make something of it?!” and the man says, “No, I’m just on the wrong side!”
Esprix