A Big Yellow Shiney Thingey

It is July and here in England there is a big yellow hot, shiny thingy in the sky.

Word on the street is that it’s called The Sun (not the newspaper I add)

Now this is quite, nay, extremely unusual for these fair isles as normally in July it rains, come to that it rains most other times as well but I digress.

I am quite worried to be perfectly honest with you. Our English summer by tradition consists of 3 maybe 4 days of sunshine at most but for the past 4 weeks or so we’ve had very little"Send it down Gabriel, make the buggers have it" type rain.
Apart from a few odd showers we have been wet free.

What does all this currant bun mean?
Is Manchester to become the haunt of playboy millionares and their buxom wenches in seach of sun, sea and sex…and Boddies best bitter.

Are our country pubs to be invaded by seething masses of German tourists throwing towels over the pub chairs.

Can we expect to see rampaging bulls in the streets of Pimlico or even Italians rowing gondolas along the Thames river.

Is fair Newcastle to be swamped by teeming millions of French cycling willy nilly up and down tyrying to flog onions.

I tell you, if Winston were alive this would never have happened

Love your post, it was very funny.
I honeymoon in Scotland and the Lake region back in 1992 in August. The Isles were experiencing the Sunniest August apparently in a generation. Good news for us, but I remember listening to a Irish station when we were on the West Coast up towards Mallaig that was advising people how to protect themselves from the Sun and how to use Sun Screen. As an American that grew up near the Ocean, this amazed me at the time.
So remember Chowder, be careful of the mean old Sun. Either Stay indoors and drink your Boddies best bitter or find some Sun Glasses and Sun Screen. :wink:

Jim

Sun = Good
We’re 1/4 way through the BBQ of the season and it’s REALLY hot. To the point where I might sit in the kids swimming pool!!

As a matter of fact I’ve just stumbled indoors away from the BBQ of the season.

Half cooked chicken, semi-raw burgers and burnt sausages…the stuff that built the Empire not forgetting the contribution made by WD & HO Wills in the way of the noble Woodbine.

I never mentioned that there is no wind, none at all…nuffink!!

Birds are not so much singing as gasping.
Ah well back to the barbie and my ice cold Carling lager and raw chicken sandie.

Remember not to look directly at it, or you could injure your eyes.

Its been sunny outside, damn, I’m so used to keeping indoors I never noticed, does this mean I don’t have to put my Kagoul on ?

Help me here, I’m not used to this and my wardrobe isn’t geared towards this unusual phenomenon.

I spent 8 weeks in London many, many years ago, and was terribly disappointed that it never really rained at all. In fact, people were keeling over from the heat. It felt like home…

You can have our sun - we really need rain right now.

…and the forecast for the next seven days is for unbroken sunshine. If the legend is correct, we’ll have at least another 33 days of sun after that.

Oh good oh :frowning: 33 sleepless nights, having to force oneself down the pub to escape the searing heat :smiley: aint life a bugger at times :wink:

**** Casdave** You don’t need the kagoul and you can also take off the fleece :smiley:

Ahhh, at least I’m off to Italy next week, where I can cool off a little :slight_smile:

It’s a Vogon! *Run! *

Half way around the world, (Well, maybe 3/8s) is the City of Seattle. We too, have been experiencing this strange yellow orb in the sky for weeks, I tell you weeks!

The moss we once called lawn has given way to a veldt-like growth, that we must cut down, to avoid attracting lions. The polar bears have fled, driven north to cooler places. (Well, ok, I guess they would have walked, they can’t drive.) The captive dogs, who must remain behind, lie in the shade, sleeping day after day, unable to bite the neighbors, or chase their cats. Those very cats have fallen in with the the shiny thing, lying for hours in its glow.

People are drowning! How can one drown in water too cold to approach. But, there it is, people submerging themselves, just to get cool. The shiny thing has actually warmed the glacial water. It’s probably melting the ice caps as we speak. (type.)

And then there’s the nakedness. :eek: Every beach is covered with near naked bodies. The police have been notified, but they do nothing, it seems, it isn’t even illegal.

And, there are fires. The news tells us some were started by fireworks on July 4[sup]th[/sup], others, by bad men seeking insurance or wishing to turn back time, and still others, from careless cooking outside! There are even forest fires, set by nature, herself. They say lightning, but I know, they, surely, all must have been started by that malevolent orb.

What next? Higher gas prices?

chowder, I feel your pain.

Our forecast is for 100+ (Fahrenheit, of course) temperatures all this week. Not unlike last week.
Trade ya?

Pardon?

:wink:

No deal. We are looking at 95+ by midweek.

If you keep the offer open until December we could be in business.

Yet here in the sunny deep part of the United States, strange wetness has occured this afternoon. It seems our big yellow shiney thingey is crying. Have we done something to upset it? I beseech my doper brethern and sisteren to explain to me why our big yellow shiney thingey has gone all gray and weepy!

We’ve had a rather cool summer so far, and it’s even rained a bit, but this week we plan to get up to 105, which is more usual. Therefore I’m heading down to the Bay Area!

I think we may have angered the Big Yellow Shiny Thing (BYST), I believe the technical term for it is the “DayStar” or something

Over the past few days, it’s been glaring angrily at us, pushing air temps into the mid 90’s, we New Englanders aren’t built to take this opressive heat (at least I’m not)

(Yes, yes I know you Southern/Tropical Dopers are laughing at my pathetic intolerance for heat, well, I laugh at your pathetic intolerance for cold, so there… :wink: )

I think I may be part Vampire, all I need to do is go out into the angry glare of the DayStar and I feel like i’m going to burst into flames, Vampire DNA would also explain my appetite for sushi and rare steak, come to think of it, yet I can’t explain why I love garlic as well…

Anyway, time to bring the rambling back on subject, nothing I’ve done seems to have appeased the DayStar, I’ve tried swearing at it, shaking my fist at it, I’ve even made a sacrifice to the DayStar, I mean, I stayed out all afternoon mowing the lawn, giving it all the grass clippings it can want, it’s appetite is unsated, heck, I’ve even tried ignoring it, nothing works…

anyone know how to appease the DayStar, maybe if we make it happy, it’ll go away, or at the very least, stop glaring at us…

Anyone, anyone, Bueller, Bueller?

Just turned 5 in the morning here in sub tropical England and already the BYST is peeking at us ready to inflict more hot burny discomfort on us poor mortals.
Couldn’t sleep, sweating like a pig with curry up its bum.

After the BBQ to end all BBQs yesterday we all trooped darn the boozer, about 30 of us!!

So the ice maker is on the fritz which is not a problem for us hard drinking macho men but a bit of a bummer for the fair sex and the sprogs.

Listen to me Alan (landlord) we know you worship the great god money but there is a supermarket about 100 yards away, they sell ice, in huge bags, very cheap so get your arse in gear and buy some

You have to sacrifice something to the golden orb or BYST.

Couple of elephants usually does the trick but if they are in short supply you could try a squirrel :wink: