a buck thirty-nine ... ?

Factual Questions
1

With apologies for putting this in GQ, but … I just got back from my lunch break and my supervisor and another co-worker were busy giggling over a customer’s username. The punchline of the joke was, apparently, that every woman knows what “a buck thirty-nine” means.

Now I’m no whore but I have an inner frat boy and consider myself to have less-than-virgin eyes/ears. But this one completely threw me. Please, please, someone explain what’s so dirty? naughty? something? about a buck thirty nine.
P.S. My co-workers are all roughly my age, so I don’t think it’s a generational thing or a pop culture meme. But then again, what do I know?

2

There’s a musical group called that. But maybe they took their name from the phrase.

3

One possibility:

A man goes to his priest an says, “Father, you have to help me, I am getting married in a week and don’t know anything about sex. I am still a virgin!”
Priest says, “OK, this is what you do. Go home and put a dime in your right front pocket, and practice… dime… dime.”
“OK.” The guy goes home and practices. Comes back the next day. “I have it down, I am going to be great!”
Priest says, “No, there’s more. Go home and place another dime in your left front pocket and practice… dime… dime, dime… dime.”
Guy leaves… comes back the next day “Father, I have it down for sure this time.”
“No, my son, there are two other things you need to do. Place a quarter in your back pocket and a dollar bill over your belt buckle. Then practice, dime… dime… quarter… buck.”
He leaves then returns the next day, “Father, is there any thing else I should know?”
“No my son, just remember, dime, dime, quarter, buck.”
The wedding night finally arrives and he and his wife begin to have sex. He is whispering, dime, dime, quarter, buck.
The wife then begins to yell, “Faster honey, faster!”
So the man says, “Fuck it! Buck forty five, buck forty five.”

4

:confused: I don’t get it. I mean, I sort-of get the punchline, but not the setup. Is this supposed to help him keep his rhythm or something?

5

OK, same joke, different teller:

Nickel, Dime, Quarter…dollar!

There is this guy that has never had sex before and he is kinda nerves because he is about to get married and go on his honey mood, but doesnt wanna disappoint his wife. So he goes to a sex therapist. The therapist tells him. . First put a Nickel in your left pocket and go home and practice swerving your left hip come back in a few days after youve gotten it down. So he goes back and shows her that he can do it…

. Second she says put a Dime in your right pocket and go home and practice swaying back and forth. Like nickel, dime, nickel, dime, nickel, dime. So he gets it down and goes back to show the therapist that he can do it.

. Third she tells him to put a Quarter in his back pocket and practice by going. From left, to Right the pulling back like Nick, Dime, Quarter etc. So he goes back and shows her hes gotten it .

Last she tells him. This is the most important oneStick a Dollar down the front of your pants and go home and practice by going from Left, to Right, pulling back and pushing forward kinda hard. So he goes and practices. Nickel, Dime, Quarter, DOLLAR…

Nickel, Dime, Quarter, DOLLAR!! He goes back to the therapist and she says well youre ready!! He is on his honey mood and feeling all jazzed about having sex.

Because the therapist said he looked real good.and could definitely do it. He is up there doing his wifeThink in his head. Nickel, Dime, Quarter, DOLLAR… When she say. Oh yeah Faster So he goes alittle faster still thinking in his head.Nickel, Dime, Quarter, DOLLAR.

but saying it faster to himself. When she says again Oh yesss Faster So he starts going more quickly and harderhe can barely keep the Nickel, Dime, Quarter, DOLLAR straight in his head.

And she says again Ooh yeah Faster Now he is at the point to where he cant keep it straight and Says, F**k it…

Buck 40.Buck 40…

6

The joke is much more obvious when you see it acted out rather than reading it in text.

7

I don’t get it…

8

Maybe one has to be an American?

9

Sometimes jokes don’t make 100% sense.

Kinda like the Leno/David Letterman or who ever told the joke about Osama Bin Laden. And what were his last words…

“What the fuck is interrupting celebrity apprentice?”. Of course it was the new conference (after he was dead) and not the actual killing the interrupted celebrity apprentice. It is still funny.

In this case - the setup doesn’t make 100% sense either, but you have to take it on faith this might help some people…

10

I am American, though I’m starting to question it

11

The only thing that’s “obvious” is that it’s so unfunny it’s not even a joke.

12

You are questioning your nationality?

13

Glad I’m not the only one around here who doesn’t get jokes :stuck_out_tongue:

14

I think this buck-forty or buck-forty-five joke is a red herring. It’s already of marginal (or no) humor with the long buildup of the quarter, dimes and/or nickels. It would be even more unfunny if you had to sit through 4 pennies as well. There must be some other joke or context for $1.39.

15

hmmm… the only thing I thought of is 69+69=138
(One joke when I was in college was guys wearing a sports T-shirt with the number 34-1/2 on the back)
I’ve heard a lot of jokes (and remember too many) and have never ever heard that joke or the punch line.

The closest money joke I remember was the new priest, fresh out of the seminary, was assigned to a convent full of nuns. Mother Superior sends him on an errand downtown. He rounds the wrong corner, and a lady of the evening approaches and says “hey faddah, five bucks for a quickie!”

His has no idea what’s happening, mumbles an apology and passes by. This happens again, then again - “Hey faddah, five bucks for a quickie.”

He’s totally mystified, so when he gets back to the convent he asks, “Mother SUperior, what’s a quickie?”
She replies “Five bucks, same as in town.”

16

I guess the “joke” was that the secret to good sex was taking your time, and not rushing it. A guy who rushes it risks finishing some time before his partner does. The advise was really about going through a mental chant to pace yourself.

Time how long it takes to say “dime, dime, quarter, dollar”, and completing a single thrust every time you say “dollar”.

Compare that to saying " a buck fourty-five!", which, to my untrained ears, sounds like it would take half the time.

The person receiving the advise got so excited that he deliberately shortens the mantra, which, of course, ruins it’s effectiveness.

17

OK, that took me embarrassingly long to get (not being American, it always takes me a while to realize that a dime is ten cents, and a nickel five). And then there’s not even a payoff afterwards…

It’d have to be a really contrived setup to come up with a buck thirty-nine, though, so I’m not sure this is on the right track.

18

I’m pulling this out of my ass.

A buck thirty-nine is 69+70, so it could be a 69, followed by what comes after a 69.

Weak, but it’s all I got. Google references the (very small-time, so it can’t be singer worship) group, this page, and random shit.

Maybe a buck thirty-nine is your co-worker’s rate.

19

Perhaps 13 looked at sideways looks like a woman’s breast and the 9 represents a man and his johnson hanging out. Put the two together and you get titty borking.

Or perhaps this:

Psalm 139: 13-16
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

20

Maybe it’s a reference to some kind of frequently-mocked law, the same way that 420 has come to refer to marijuana usage?

The humorous use of items to remind someone how to move during lovemaking has a long history. I recall reading one of the classic works of English erotica* in which the hero teaches the heroine by placing a tuft of wool under one buttock, a bit of horesehair under the other, and a wad of cotton under the center of her backside. They then embark on a session of intercourse punctuated by the man’s increasingly enthusiastic cries of “Wool!” “Hair!” and “Cotton!”

*Anyone remember which one this is? The title escapes me.