A "conversation" with that part of my brain that wants me to reproduce (tmi)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Primative Reproductive Instinct = PRI

PRI: “WAKE UP!!!”

Bruce: “whaaa…?”

PRI: “WAKE UP!!!”

Bruce: (blindly picks up clock and holds 2 inches from contactless eyes) “Dude. It’s like 3:30 AM.”

PRI: “Time for sex!!!”

Bruce: “What in the hell are you a talking about?”

PRI: “Time for sex with pretty girl!”

Bruce: “Who? Oh, you mean the girl we went out with last night. Um, dude, she’s not here.”

PRI: “I give you enormous erection! Time to put in pretty girl!!”

Bruce: “Are you listening? She’s not here, she’s in Charlotte, like an hour and 1/2 away.”

PRI: “I gave you huge erection! Time to use!”

Bruce: “I can tell and thanks alot.” (sigh) “Look dumbass, you’re not paying attention. We’re taking this one slow. Last night was just the first date and we didn’t even kiss. Could have, but we’re trying to show the most honorable intentions here because me and you don’t really have that good of a buzz going. Why do you think we’re having to drive 90 miles to get chicks?”

PRI: “Not like talk.” :frowning: “Erection go away.”

Bruce: “That’s right. Now we’ve only been asleep for 3 hours so how 'bout you simmer down there and let’s get some shuteye.”

PRI: (pauses) “Remeber pretty girl have shiny black pants?”

Bruce: “Yeah bud, she’s got a great ass.”

PRI: “I beat she wear pretty underwear.”

Bruce: “Me too. Probably black and silky and. . . GODDAMNIT YOU BASTARD!!!”

PRI: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I give you erection again. Time to fuck pretty girl!!! "

Bruce: “You are an idiot. No wonder we get into so much trouble.”

I think I finally went to sleep around 5:45a.

2

3:30 - 5:45…

Is your wrist sore?
:wink:

3

Oh gawd! I thought it was bad enough when they only thought with them, but conversations are a cry for far more than sex :smiley:

You’re too cute Bruce_Daddy. Good luck with “Miss Charlotte”. I’ve quit looking in my neighborhood too. Got my eye on a guy about an hour from me. Good luck to the both of us!
BTW, was that you “beat” she wears pretty underwear just a Freudian slip?

4

That would have broken two of the Rules of Sexuality that are only known to me and my stupid friends:

  1. You are not allowed to 'bate with morning wood.

  2. You are not allowed to 'bate to a girl you intend to bed but have not yet. This will displease the gods and you will smell of toe cheese and chicken innards to the object of your desire henceforth.

Plus, I was too sleepy to get up and find something to . . . clean up with.

5

What’s the rationale behind Rule #1?

6

I have just contacted The Keeper of the Rules and he claims to have no knowledge of such rule. However, The Keeper of the Rules is old and senile so I will venture a WAG:

It’s like spending money you find on the street instead of hard earned cash. Acceptable for the common man, but not those of incredible virtue and wisdom that follow The Rules who would turn that money directly into the police.
:confused:

7

So you turn your morning wood over to the police? I’d think it would be gone by the time they arrive. At least I would hope so.

8

You’d be in pain if you had the cops in my neighborhood!