A dear friend who won't shut up...

[brittekland]

@jackdavinci

I encourage anyone who talks too much to take it to email.

People fear my dissertation emails.

[Rodgers01]

@pbbth

I used to have a friend like that. We had a falling out over a completely different issue, but I found that when she would prattle on like that I could get her to turn off her stream of words by having an “exciting” interruption that takes her completely off topic. For example, she was a big Harry Potter fan so if she were to call me today about ten minutes into her rant about how she can’t find a job and she doesn’t like ravioli and wouldn’t you know that the food pantry gave her three cans of it this week, etc. I would exclaim, “Oh my god, that reminds me about something I wanted to tell you! Have you seen the previews for the new Daniel Radcliffe movie The Woman in Black? It looks like it is going to be really good! I immediately thought of you when I saw the preview. Have you seen it yet?” This not only introduces a topic of conversation that interests both of us but also knocks her off track in her monologue of doom.

The most important part of this technique is that it has to be an exciting interruption. You can’t say, “Oh, by the way I wanted to ask you…” and expect them to stop. You have to say, “Holy crap, I can’t believe I forgot to ask you about…” It must seem much more important and exciting than the current topic, even if it is a fairly boring interruption, for this to work.

I’d second this. The best thing is to break the talker of their monologue by finding some - any - excuse to interrupt and change the topic. If you’re talking to them in person, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, and when you come back you start talking before she gets a chance. If you’re on the phone, pretend you have another call coming in that you have to take.

Also: rush them along in their story in a way that’s not rude. I had a roommate who was a horrible incessant talker and when she was in the midst of some tangent of a tangent of some story I’d interrupt by saying, “But wait - you were going to tell me how your boss…” to get back to the nominal story.

It’s not easy with these people. I shudder to think how many wasted hours of life I spent while that roommate babbled on and on and on. The terrible thing is that few things feel ruder than to interrupt someone who’s speaking passionately about something and basically tell them you’re not interested and want to go. It’s damned difficult.