Why do Ethnic couples like to do it doggy style?
So both of them can watch the hockey game!
Two men are having a loud conversation in a bar.
“All lawyers are assholes!!!”, one of the men loudly yelled.
Down at the other end of the bar a man answered back, “hey fella, watch what you’re saying. I strongly resent those remarks!”
The first man says, “Oh I’m sorry, are you a lawyer?”
The other man replies…
“No, I’m an asshole.”
Three astronauts are about to be sent to the space station on a year long mission. Because they’ll be in space so long, NASA decides to let them choose the one thing they wanted the most and bring it along. The first astronaut always wanted to learn Latin, so he got several texts on the language. The second wanted his wife along so she was given a crash course at the space center and put on the rocket with her husband. The third loved cigars so much, but rarely got the good Cubans, so asked to have a crate of those added to the manifest and so they were placed in the cargo hold.
A year later, the space shuttle returns with the three astronuats. The first one comes out, walks up to the microphone and speaks perfect Latin to the cheering crowd.
The second comes out with his wife and two babies in their arms. They hold them up to the crowd, which cheers even more.
The third comes out, chewing on the stub of a cigar. He stalks up to the podium, grabs the microphone and says “Anyone got a light?”
7 points.
8 points.
Uhh…5 points.
Zero points.
Zero points, all.
Except the link; I’ll score that one maybe after I retire.
If memory serves, this will only work if you know that just off the coast of Texas, near Mustang Island, there is a species of fish (Snappers) that is quite tasty. Sometimes, you can tell the difference at the market by the different colors of the fish.
::ahem::
So, did you hear about the woman who went fishing with three guys and came back with a big Red Snapper?
A man set up a table in a public park with a big sign reading, Free crackers and cheese! People gathered around and eagerly helped themselves until they realized that the cheese tasted absolutely disgusting. It was the most terrible, terrible taste in the world. People wept as they spat out the cheese and wailed in their anguish, it was so very, very bad. Then they looked around and, panicking, realized that there were no water fountains in the park.
That was when the man set out a second sign: Mouthwash: $25 a cup.
6 points. That was a long journey.
Zero points.
7 points.
Zero points.
[QUOTE=koufax;12067973The first man says, “Oh I’m sorry, are you a lawyer?”
The other man replies…
“No, I’m an asshole.”[/QUOTE]
Zero points.
TEN POINTS For Intergalactic Gladiator !!!
Zero points.
6 points.
[SIZE=“7”]Leader Board Updated[/SIZE]
The following posters have 10-point submissions:
Elendil’s Heir (x2)
Johnny Q (x2)
J-P L (x2)
amrussell
CMOSDES
Intergalactic Gladiator
Joey P
njtt
Tattman40
Zakalwe
ElvisL1ves
Woo hoo! Thank you, thank you. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who made this possible, the academy, whoever told me that joke many years ago. I’d also like to thank my mother because without her, I’d never be here. She gave me bus fare.
music plays
Intergalactic Gladiator walks off stage the wrong way