Yeah, actually, when I’m depressed, I CAN’T eat…or sleep…or think…I had a boyfriend for 7 months when he CHEATED on me (that f@$%ing a@#hole!!!) and so not only did I have to deal w/seeing HIM, I had to deal w/seeing his new chick…UUUGH So what made me feel better is hanging out w/my friends…immersing myself in activities…I joined the soccer team, actually!
I also took up smoking…would NOT reccomend that at ALL…wrong thing to do, heh…meet new people…and stay away from him as much as possible! What they say is right tho…“time heals all wounds”
Handy! I wasn’t talking abot becoming a lesbian, I have nothing against lesbians, it’s just not my thing, enjoy cuddling with my guy friends too much to give it up. You might have seen that straight people take these thing easier because, at least as far as I’ve seen, it seems a whole lot easier to find a partner if you’re straight and it’s a rather “normal” thing. Some people find new SOs every month or so. If you’re gay you just happen to be a drastic minority, so finding someone is a lot harder and when you do find someone you tend to form a tighter emotioal bond. Your expectations also tend to be higher, most straight people expect men to be thoughtless pigs and women to be flighty. The only real stereotypes about gay people are pretty much confined to the straight community. So if you’re closer to the person and you don’t really expect them to leave don’t you think you’d take it a bit harder too? Of course, I was pretty sure my boyfriend was as unstereotypically male as you could get but ::shrug:: I guess stuff just happens.
Kitty
Couple things. First, don’t you hate that? How can they be so unaffected after completely destROYING YOUR ENTIRE FU–Uh, excuse me. But really, WHAT NERVE–
Pops pill Alrighty then. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. I’ve never made anybody squeakle before. I think I like it.
Malarky, they say that time heals all wonds, yes time is a great teacher and a great healer, however, it kills all of its students. I’m just praying I get over this faster than I’m going at the moment because it’s driving me insane that I’m not the usually bouncy happy person that everyone knows as me. I joined the soccer team too, but I do that every year, that’s how I got to know my now ex-boyfriend, while making fun of his “mad soccer skillz” actually. He’s white, and since most of the guys soccer team is hispanic and really good at soccer kidding with him about it was really fun. I get the feeling that I’m going to do a lot of running this year, if you can run, you can’t think about much else, that’s a very good thing.
Birdman, you captured my sentiments exactly. Here I am thinking my life is over (well not really but I’m taking drama so humor me) and crying at the drop of a hat and he’s just going about his life as if nothing at all happened. Grrrr!
Okay, I’ll stop ranting now. Birdman, honey, you can make me squeakle any time you’d like.
Kitty
No, by all means, rant away. After all, isn’t that the point? Regardless, my squeakle-inducing apparatus is primed and ready.
You mean I’m sllowed to rant? Oh goody.
Well there isn’t anything terribly bad I have to say anymore except for the fact that I have to go through all this emotional hell all over again in a few weeks, or a month or so, they haven’t set a date yet. Confused? Figured you would be. I have to do a persentation in drama (an autodrama) about the last important, traumatic event in my life. I get to stand in front of my drama class for ten minutes and bare my soul, prayimng all the while that I don’t break down in tears while recounting the happy memories and the sad parts too. Isn’t there some law against this? whimper
Kitty
Wow, there SHOULD be. That’s nuts. Did it occur to the instructor that maybe traumatic events (and the feelings they engender) might be private, and nobody else’s business? I’d make something up. Either that, or have the presentation itself be your last traumatic event, and go into hysterics about how unthinkingly cruel it is to require you to relive something painful just for everyone’s entertainment and a *!#$*ing grade. It’s a drama class, not a therapy session. Grrr…tell 'em you’ve got a personal Saint with unimaginable powers who’s really into smiting these days. 
Excellent advice. Simply GET BUSY. And when you find things that remind you of your times with him, make a habit of finding something else to occupy your attention. And instead of thinking about the past, concentrate on the future. Make new plans. Make new friends (without losing the old ones). If he took you to Knott’s Berry Farm, go to Disneyland, or better yet, go to the beach or the mountains. And if you must think about the guy, remember his worst habits. Do you really want to spend your life with a guy who eats his boogers? (I hired a detective and ran a background check. Trust me, Kitty, he’s not the guy for you.)
Best of luck to you, Kitty.
OrcaChow, that won’t be too hard, near the end my best friend just kept pointing out all the good things about being single and the things I wouldn’t miss about him. Like how he would get really jealous of a guy friend of mine, when I went to the pool with my guy friend and he was at polo practice, I do believe he gave me a look that semed to say “what the hell are you doing here? With him?!” Now I’m getting closer to my guy friend, he’s a great guy, a player but hey I’m not going out with him, nor plan to anytime soon. At least I can do that now without feeling vaguely guilty about making my boyfriend feel bad.
Dijon, don’t go and smite my teacher, make her see the error of her ways you could do but she’s a great teacher when she’s not bringing up bad issues, I got her to agree to let me sit on the floor. I don’t have a desk. I agree with the therapy session though, if my teachers though I was depressed and suicidal before I really hope I don’t get sent to counseling after this stunt. I just hope I can manage to gracefully kick my ex out of the room before I do my presentation, he has a free period when I have Drama.
Kitty
Alright, I know you’re all probably not paying much attention to me anymore, but anyone who happens upon this thread:
Have you ever had an ex that just couldn’t take a hint?
I mean my ex is a great guy and he’s still my friend but he doesn’t seem to understand that I’m still just a little bitter about the whole situation. Also, I am a rather cuddly person, with most of my close friends I give them a hug and then snuggle close and stay there for a while. My guys friends are usually rather understanding about this. However know that my ex is “just a friend” he either gets really playful and what some might consider flirty (I wouldn’t but one of my close guy friends asked if we got back together after one of my ex’s more playful moves) or when I do try to hug him (you have no clue how much it hurts to be reminded of how much I miss hugging him and it meaning so much more) he just kinda stands there like “huh?” I dunno, what do all of you think? Ever had an ex like that?
Kitty
Fairy Princess Kitty, I just found this thread and I have some suggestions, take them for what they’re worth.
I usually find someone to talk to. They usually have to be good friends because sometimes I’ve talked so long and on so many occasions that I didn’t have anything left to say, and I STILL wanted to talk.
No the TV and Radio won’t be your friends for a while. Too many love songs and fairy tale romances.
At some point get a box and put all of your presents, knick-knacks, pictures, etc. from him in there. Unless you’re so mad you want to smash things you’ll usually want to have the ‘souveniers’ years down the road. Then take the box and hide it the attic or somewhere out of sight and forget about it.
In my own experience it is possible to get over someone and have to be around them at the same time. Possible, but it’s a lot more difficult and a lot more painful. I think you’re just making it harder on yourself to keep treating him the same (cuddling/flirting). Try and keep him at arms length so to speak. You don’t have to be cold or mean to him but you can’t keep treating him like that. If he can’t accept that then he’s not being very considerate. He has to realize that it’s painful for you to deal with him because of your feelings for him. If possible, don’t give him a chance to make those ‘playful moves’. Maybe keep him at a little more than arms length literally?
I don’t know if I ever really forgot to eat but I wasn’t hungry for a long time. Eating was more of a chore than anything.
By all means keep busy. This suggestion has already been covered. Good advice.
If you’re still reading this then the last thing I have to say is by all means act happy. Sure it’s an act, hey you’re a drama student it’s good practice. 
Eventually it will be less and less of an act. It will get better, really.
Hang in there.
So is your ex being flirty or distant or both? I’m sorry, I just sort of got lost in the description there.
Adding to the general realm of support here, I have to say that what you’re going through is normal and it sucks like hell. I can also say that as a guy, I’ve felt pretty crappy after all my break ups, whether I did the breaking or she did. He might not show it, but ending a romantic relationship with someone isn’t an easy task, nor a pleasant one. I doubt that makes you feel much better, but at least know you’re not alone.
You have a few points in your favor. One thing is that you can post here and have people listen to it. Hell, even if we all stopped listening to it, you could still post here and at least get it all off your chest. Regardless of how you feel about being strong and taking it all in stride, you don’t have to just hold everything inside. Either take some time to yourself to go cry somewhere or else go cry on a friend’s shoulder, if you have friends you feel comfortable crying upon. Like everyone else said, keep yourself busy. It’s a lot easier to feel sad when you’re sitting alone listening to romantic songs on the radio or watching some romantic movie. Get yourself active in things and if you need to use the songs and movies as a catalyst to release some pent up emotion, go for it, but don’t make that your whole week.
You will get past this. Might take a while, but it will go by. Not to belittle your relationship for even a second, but to be truthful, there’s not a whole lot of high school relationships that last into “adult” life. Work your way through this and someday it’ll be a story when you and your future-lifemate-to-be get to that “tell me about your old relationships” stage.
Kitty, couple more thoughts. First, regarding ex’s flirtatious behavior: Direct dialogue is called for IMHO. It doesn’t sound as though he can take a hint. Just explain that your healing process is still ongoing, and might continue to be for awhile. You clearly need some space (both physically or emotionally). If he respects you at all, he will understand. This again is just my own opinion.
And regarding your autodrama, I won’t debate the academic merits of the assignment. But if you do go through with it, I applaud your courage. I usually used to just BS my drama teacher, but she wasn’t too with it anyway.
Birdman, my drama teacher isn’t exactly all that bright either but I’d hate to lie to her, she helped me out a lot when I was down last year. I could BS it, hell, when we did skits about Helen of Troy last year I was Helen the Hooch of Troy, and we made references to the trojan man and some guy forgetting to pay for my “services.” Either the teacher didn’t care or she didn’t understand half of it.
Thank you everyone for your help, I guess you are right, I really should just be up front with him about it. Talking to him at all personally is going to hurt, I can’t say that I’ll be perfectly alright with it. However you’re all right on the fact that it’ll just hurt more to be playfully flirty with him.
Tiglon, I do have people to talk to, but I guess it’s just weird but I’ve gotten so accustomed to dialng his number when I needed help. The box is a good idea, I’m keeping everything in a closet I don’t use, maybe I’ll be able to take it out again someday. Well I am trying to act happy but thanks for making me think it’ll help my dramatic career, I’ve always loved acting, guess I’ll just have to suffer a bit to get better.
Jophiel, thanks a lot, having everyone here to talk to and to listen to me really is great and the advice, is a lot more useful than what I could get elsewhere. I didn’t expect this relationship to last all that long, certainly not past high school, too many differences in life goals for that but I didn’t really think it would end like this.
Just as an update, I think I’m starting to feel a little better about this whole thing. I’m even considering going to the autumn formal with a close guy friend (that my ex was fiercely jealous of for some reason) just to spite my ex. Just to say that I can have a life now that he’s gone and I don’t need him anymore. I might not fully believe it yet but at least it’s a start, right?
Kitty
Sorry about the breakup, you are officially invited to the single-and-bitter thread over in the Pit. Don’t worry if you don’t feel bitter yet, you will in time.
Did you say Helen the Hooch? That’s willful ignorance, IMHO. As far as the single and bitter thing goes, well, both of those words have a different meaning at 16 then they do ten or fifteen years later. That’s obvious, I suppose, but it’s still sinking into my thick head.
Bottom line, breaking up is a bitch and there’s no formula for dealing with it. I think that sucks. But it’s not the ultimate tragedy, as Swiddles’ thread demonstrates. Kitty, you seem to me like someone with her head on straight, and I respect that.
SwimmingRiddles, don’t worry I’m bitter, not really all that bitter yet, but just a little bit. The being single part doesn’t bother me, I have enough single guy friends that are quite cuddly that being single is good. Well at least in that way.
Birdman, thanks, when most people are telling me that I was crazy for going out with him at all and being sad now that he’s gone, it means a lot to me to hear that at least someone still believes I’m in my right mind.
You would think that this all should be a nice, neat little road to recovery from now on wouldn’t you? Well guess what happened yesterday? I got a phone call from a “friend” of mine. She was a kind of close friend of my ex’s too. It was all going great. Then she asked me if it would be okay if she started dating him, or at least tried to (she hadn’t talked to the guy yet) Ever just had tears leap to your eyes and get all choked up really quick? That’s how I felt. I told her to go ahead, I mean it’s going to hurt like hell to see him with someone else, but I have no right to keep him from having a relationship, right? If you all say I’m a hypocrite because of my date to the autumn formal, I must stress that I’m going with a friend, he’s not really a date, he’s just a friend because I didn’t want to go alone. Any advice?
Kitty
Isn’t it funny how it’s so easy to be wise second-hand and after the fact? I’ve heard the same kind of garbage from a lot of my friends. It’s not intentional; they mean well…ah, well, the hell with it (extended bitter ranting deleted by author). Coincidentally (or maybe not) my ex (the one I described earlier) is now dating a friend of mine. All you can do is ride it out and wait for it to get easier. That or join the foreign leigon, but I think you have to be 18 for that. Keep your chin up, Kitty. I sympathize.
Birdman, thanks for the help, but keeping my chin up seems like thhe hardest thing to do. My “friend” that’s taking me to the autumn formal asked me to be his girlfriend today. He told me that he’s been wanting to ask me out since before I started going out with Danny. Ya know that means so much to me because first semester last year I was seriously odd, I was timid in most areas but when you got me to talk you couldn’t shut me up, and about the weirdest subjects too. So knowing that despite how I was acting (and how I looked) last year and the fact that I’m two years younger than him, he still thought of asking me out is just so sweet to me. I almost starting crying, he was so sweet about it and I had to tell him I’m going to have to seriously think about it. I know that he’s been one of my best friends and that he’ll be there for me to nurse me through this thing with Danny, but I’m not sure that I still wouldn’t go running back to Danny in a heartbeat (though he shows no signs of so much as asking so that’s not exactly a possibility.) So what do you all think I should do? I mean, Carlos is a great guy and a wonderful friend, he’s sweet and romantic and I can see nothing wrong with him as “boyfriend material” but should I risk it this soon after one heartache?
Breathlessly awaiting your help,
Kitty
IMHO: Be careful. People do things without thinking when they’re on the rebound, things that they sometimes regret later. Don’t be afraid to take a chance; people who are afraid of risk are afraid to live. But do be cautious. This again is merely my own two cents. It’s funny how this is turning into a dialogue between us, Kitty, but it seems like you’re in a situation analagous to one I was in not too long ago.
Damn I need a beer.