You’re asking women about other women? This will not be useful.
The same goes in reverse though; don’t ask men about other men–ask women if you want to hear somehting useful.
My opinion on the OP’s question? I’ll bet he’s mostly just dated women younger than 30. Younger people, women included, are self-absorbed. (Although I think 20-something women are even worse than 20-something men. Comes from being a hot commodity. It evens out when good men thin out and stop caring so much after 30.)
[QUOTE=Brain Wreck]
I don’t have anything to add except I’m at my wits end with my mother in this situation (I am male). Anytime she is present, she dominates the conversation. A normal phone conversation between me and her lasts about 15 minutes, in which I have about 40 seconds of talk time, consisting entirely of "mmm hmm. mmmhm. How about that. " I’m sort of slow as far as thinking of things to say or remembering things worth relating, so by the time I think of something to say, she barrels onward and shatters my train of thought.
And I could tolerate this, since I’m not a big talker, if only she didn’t prattle on endlessly about complete inanities. What’s on sale at Target this week. What consumer guru Clark Howard says about cloth diapers (neither of us have small children). Second-hand stories of people that neither of us knows directly. What sort of car she would buy, if she were in the market to buy a car. Stain removal. She asks me questions only to interrogate me about how to do various things on her computer (I am a programmer, I have not the faintest clue about how to use MS Publisher).
It really makes me ill and it entirely drains the life out of me. Eventually I stop responding altogether. She finds the silence uncomfortable and redoubles her effort to cover every gap in the conversation with more talking. I wish I could figure out a tactful way to tell her that she talks more than crazy people about things that nobody cares about.
Sorry to dump my personal woes, I just wanted to say I am right along with the OP and wish I understood why people act this way. I honestly don’t know whether men or women talk more, but I know for a fact that nobody talks more than my mother.
[/QUOTE]
I wonder if that’s just a mom thing. Mine also has the fun of keeping me up-to-date on all the local talk radio nonsense or what’s happening on her television shows. I know it’s because her life is so small and isolated through her own doing, and I shouldn’t expect her to be any different now than she has been her entire life (i.e., be able to put herself in anyone else’s shoes), but damn, “draining” is just the right word.
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes]
Arnold must be whooshing us.
[/QUOTE]
Yes. Humour. 
[QUOTE=Yag Rannavach]
I find it goes over better if you leave the ‘women’ part in there and look straight at the bearded guy who is laughing too loud…
[/QUOTE]
Genius!
[QUOTE=lisacurl]
I wonder if that’s just a mom thing. Mine also has the fun of keeping me up-to-date on all the local talk radio nonsense or what’s happening on her television shows. I know it’s because her life is so small and isolated through her own doing, and I shouldn’t expect her to be any different now than she has been her entire life (i.e., be able to put herself in anyone else’s shoes), but damn, “draining” is just the right word.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t think it’s a mom thing - I have great conversations with mine. I do, however, have a fairly self-centered sister who does something similar. I just surf the internet or do housework or something while (half) listening to her go on. She also does that thing where you know they are just waiting for you to shut up so they can start prattling again instead of actually listening to you - that does drive me nuts. I’m not a massive talker, so when I do have something to say, you can shut your piehole for 30 seconds and listen to me, hokay?
I wouldn’t exactly call my sister self-centered, but she has this habit too, in a way. The one time it really bothered me was just after a nasty breakup. She let me know that if I wanted to talk about it, I could call her any time and she’d be there to listen to me. So I did. The entire conversation centered around some cute thing her kids did.
This thread reminds me of something from years back. I met this woman via a personal ad. During the first phone conversation, she brought out The List. That is, she had a sort of questionairre that she would use to grill potential suiters. What’s your favorite color, how many relationships have you been in, how often do you call your mother, things like that. They ranged from the extremely mudane to the extremely invasive. The odd thing about that is that she wouldn’t even bother to listen to the answers. She’d answer them about herself, and prattle on incessantly about it. By the time we got halfway through page two of the questions (there were many many more), my phone’s battery was dying. I told her I’d have to call her back the next night.
I didn’t.
I haven’t noticed this much except when girlfriends are in crisis mode. Then I find they launch into talk therapy, which is really just thinking aloud until they’ve sorted things out. Input is occasionally appreciated, but nodding is usually just as good. Also, most of them just have better gossip. They remember little details and imitate voices – much mroe interesting in an anecdote-teller, to me.
[QUOTE=Brain Wreck]
Sorry to dump my personal woes, I just wanted to say I am right along with the OP and wish I understood why people act this way. I honestly don’t know whether men or women talk more, but I know for a fact that nobody talks more than my mother.
[/QUOTE]
Oh my god, Vynce, you’ve been posting here more than two years and you didn’t even tell me. Some brother you are 
I kid
Honestly, the best way to deal with this, at least with my own mom, is to say something to start an argument. You get to have an equal share of conversation time, then. Pisses her right off, though.
I promise to do my part to be better about doing this with men. I don’t talk so much about myself as I’ll just talk talk talk talk talk if someone else is introverted. It’s conditional though. I’ll do my part in motivating the single women if someone else can make people with children stop talking about nothing else other than their children. I love my niece but I am going to have to murder my sister if she doesn’t stop dominating every convo with this.
[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
steadfastly refuse to bear any of the weight of the conversation
[/QUOTE]
Bear *the weight * of the conversation? If you’re having a conversation that you feel can best be described in those terms, I say you should both abandon it and find other people to talk to, people with whom you can have buoyant conversations.
But that’s just me.
[QUOTE=Brain Wreck]
I don’t have anything to add except I’m at my wits end with my mother in this situation (I am male). Anytime she is present, she dominates the conversation. A normal phone conversation between me and her lasts about 15 minutes, in which I have about 40 seconds of talk time, consisting entirely of "mmm hmm. mmmhm. How about that. " I’m sort of slow as far as thinking of things to say or remembering things worth relating, so by the time I think of something to say, she barrels onward and shatters my train of thought.
And I could tolerate this, since I’m not a big talker, if only she didn’t prattle on endlessly about complete inanities. What’s on sale at Target this week. What consumer guru Clark Howard says about cloth diapers (neither of us have small children). Second-hand stories of people that neither of us knows directly. What sort of car she would buy, if she were in the market to buy a car. Stain removal. She asks me questions only to interrogate me about how to do various things on her computer (I am a programmer, I have not the faintest clue about how to use MS Publisher).
It really makes me ill and it entirely drains the life out of me. Eventually I stop responding altogether. She finds the silence uncomfortable and redoubles her effort to cover every gap in the conversation with more talking. I wish I could figure out a tactful way to tell her that she talks more than crazy people about things that nobody cares about.
Sorry to dump my personal woes, I just wanted to say I am right along with the OP and wish I understood why people act this way. I honestly don’t know whether men or women talk more, but I know for a fact that nobody talks more than my mother.
[/QUOTE]
God, my mother does the same thing. She called one time, prattled on and on about god knows what for almost 10 minutes (I actually put the phone down on the counter) then said goodbye. All I said to her was, “Hello”, “Oh, hi Mom”, “Uh huh”, and “Bye.”
Then we have the manly conversations: I went deer hunting with a friend (OK, it was more like deer looking because we never find any). We sat in a 4x6 shed from 4:30 AM until 5 PM and I don’t think we said more than 20 words to each other all day. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I told my wife about it and she got this look of horror on her face. She said there would be no way that she and a friend could sit together all day and not talk.
[QUOTE=Lizard]
You’re asking women about other women? This will not be useful.
[/QUOTE]
Wow. This is the very first time I’ve ever asked this, but…Can I take this as a sig line? The truth resounds from this statement.
[QUOTE=erie774]
God, my mother does the same thing. She called one time, prattled on and on about god knows what for almost 10 minutes (I actually put the phone down on the counter) then said goodbye. All I said to her was, “Hello”, “Oh, hi Mom”, “Uh huh”, and “Bye.”
[/QUOTE]
Oh, cry me a river.
My father has become like this, but he doesn’t do it for 10 minutes. After 1.5-2 hours I have to interrupt him mid-drone to tell him I have to get ready for work the next day. This usually signals another good 20 minutes of listening to him jaw on.
[QUOTE=Anaamika]
Wow. This is the very first time I’ve ever asked this, but…Can I take this as a sig line? The truth resounds from this statement.
[/QUOTE]
Of course you can. The hardest-won knowege should be the most widely-shared.
[QUOTE=Lizard]
Of course you can. The hardest-won knowege should be the most widely-shared.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you. Unfortunately humans are not very inclined to listen. 