submitted for your approval:
Brian ******, Goat felcher extraordinaire.
This boy is a jackass among jackasses. Nasty to students, nasty to teachers, nasty in general. I go to NAJCHS. You may have heard of it if you’re a Jew and lived in Atlanta. I’m a freshman there. Brian ******, unfortunately, is one of my class mates. He makes jackass jokes, making fun of people for things they can’t help, things that they wear, and things that actually didn’t happen. And no one wants to tell him to shut up, or that he’s not funny, because if they do, they’ll be next in line for torment. Now I’ll give you the straw that broke the camel’s back. I have a friend named Royi. He has a livejournal. He [used to] writes in his livejournal. Somehow, Brian found Royi’s Livejournal. Brian already makes fun of Royi on a regular basis just for being Israeli. I don’t have a problem with Brian reading Royi’s Livejournal. Royi put it up there, it’s public domain. I do have a problem with him handing out the address to the whole grade. I know, “It’s public, anyone could have found it and read it.” But imagine having a conversation with someone. Anyone could overhear something, and tell everyone else what they heard, but that doesn’t make it right. You wouldn’t like it to happen to you, would you? And the malicious comments on his livejournal don’t help either. I keep a journal on the internet, and I sure as hell woudn’t want anyone at my school to tell everyone what the address was. Then again, if I want something to remain unknown, then I shouldn’t put it on the internet, right? Well, one of the advantages of the internet is some anonymity. If SPOOFE’s mother was reading the boards, and she knew who SPOOFE was, I’m relatively sure he wouldn’t have posted the infamous toothpaste episode.
And so, Brian, if you manage to find this, congratulations. I’d just like to say that you are a goat felching, pig squicking, unfortunate result of a badly aimed handjob. Sheep and small children cower at your name. Oh, and quote this in my face all you want, fuckwicket.
“I’d just like to say that you are a goat felching, pig squicking, unfortunate result of a badly aimed handjob. Sheep and small children cower at your name. Oh, and quote this in my face all you want, fuckwicket.”
That was brilliant! And you are only in HS? I’m impressed.
It sounds to me like you could put him in his place.
A livejournal is not at all like a ‘conversation’; if Brian Goatfelcher was slipping into an IRC chat or some other semi-private means of communication then I could see getting pissed that he spread some of that information. But putting something in a livejournal is more like pasting it up on a billboard; if you don’t want people to read your journal, don’t post it on an open web page. I don’t think this rant makes any sense, because any of the people who don’t want their journals read can avoid it by not posting them where everyone on the planet can read them.
Fine, it was a weak analogy, I withdraw it. Still, you don’t think it sucks my friend has to abandon his livejournal just so he is able to write deep thoughts without being taunted about it at school the next day? Anonymity is still important.
I’d just like to say that it is great to see another intelligent, able to spell and use grammar teenaged person on the board, or on the internet. Most people my age are the type you decribed in your OP both offline and online, at least wher I live.
And believe in the power of Karma. The universe has a way of leveling things out.
Brian Goatfelcher will either suffer with substance abuse, erectile difficulties, or a career that requires to ask every customer, “Would you like fries with that?”
*Originally posted by White Lightning * 1) Stand up for himself (not as easy as I make it sound)
Exactly. Not as easy as it sounds.
2) Not write anything that would get him teased
Kind of kills the whole idea of being something where you can write whatever you want.
3) Lock his journal so that only people on his friends list can read it
Having random strangers be able to tell you that they feel the same way is part of the fun of livejournal, in my opinion.
4) Invest in an actual JOURNAL and not let Brian read it.
Do you have an online journal of any sort? If not, I personally think its just not quite the same.
**5) Wait till the buzz about his lj builds to a fever pitch and then post naked (embarrassing) pics of Brian on it so that everyone sees them. **
I like this idea the best. I think I’ll suggest it to him.
Yeah, but it sounds probable that Brian is biasing people’s opinions of Royi’s LJ when he gives the address. “You gotta check this out…look at his dumb-ass poetry/photos/stuff he thinks about!” Sad to say, teenagers are easily influenced. If they found Royi’s LJ on their own, they would probably react favorably. If they’re told in advance that it’s something to be mocked, they’ll probably join Brian in mocking it. People fall in line behind jackasses because they don’t want to become targets.
Sidenote: Is he openly harassing Royi about his ethnicity? That’s something that should be taken up with the administration.
Hey, cut them some slack. Aslan was obviously typing very quickly (made evident by the typo near the end). Besides, for 9th graders, their command of the English language is pretty impressive.
Now regarding Brian Goatfelcher: I recommend your Israeli friend post some quotes by Brian the Racist Goatfelcher, along with a “heartfelt” suggestion that he get some help soon. A photo of Brian Goatfelcher changing for gym with a Klan hat photoshopped in could go a long way. A well-placed Hello Kitty tattoo on his hindquarters would be pretty effective as well (after all, he can’t easily disprove it to potential dates). Granted these are low-brow solutions, but as they say, let the punishment fit the crime.