“All right then, if you say so,” came the reply. “But I don’t think I’ll be glorifying You to the extent you deserve with my inadequate xylophone fumblings…”
“Stop sucking up,” said God.
“by byee”
and nathan found himself waking up in bed, with a large flyer of a xylophone with the words, ''Get one today! FREE lessons included!! Whilst stocks last!!! ".
“Could the fact the ad copy says whilst instead of while indicate that the offer was written in Britain?”, Nathan wondered.
Dust covered from the road, Jack slowly gets up and wonders where Nathan disappeared to.
Everything was changed, now, a whole future ahead of him, Jack pondered all the ice cream and milkshakes he could finally indulge in!
French Vanilla
God had granted him this grace, he pondered garnering a group for the First Church of…
Häagen-Dazs, Holy Hallowed Halls Hailing Heaven!
If only he knew where to begin…so very many flavors to choose from. Should he systematically try each one in alphabetical order, or just dive in to the nearest carton of ice cream?
“Just dive in,” Jack eventually decided. “And the hell with what Jamie Farr would think!”
“Kansas,” Jack muttered, as the heat began to get to him, “Didn’t the band Kansas have a song about a guy who knew … I wonder if God talked to Him about the holyness of Ice Cream …”
*Lucious banana splits, triple-decker cones, Jello pudding with whipped cream, the possibilities are endless, * Jack thought. I think I’ll start with the basics though, he said, walking into Wendy’s for a Frosty.
“Morning Sir, can I help you?” said the oddly familiar looking woman behind the counter, staring somewhat blankly.
“Navel rings? They let you wear navel rings while you’re working here?” Said Jack, somewhat distracted from her face and his goal …
“Oh my god! Bonnie! What are you doing here?” exclaimed Jack, looking at the woman’s face, “I thought you were dead!”
“Perhaps you’re confusing me with my recently deceased twin sister, God rest her soul,” the young woman said. “I’m Xanthippe.”
(atta way to plan ahead, there, jr8)
Quite remarkable, the resembalance, Xanthippe," responded Jack, “Except for, of course, Bonnie hadn’t had her navel pierced or her breasts … well … breasts … well … she hadn’t … well … Gee you look nice in that uniform, did you get it custom made?”
“Really, sir, I thought you were here to sample ice cream,” purred Xanthippe with a come on grin that Jack knew all too well.
S … s… s … s … s … s … sample? Uh … Yeah, That’s it, I need a Frosty, Right Now, uh, please?" Jack stammered. "I’ve just seen God and was cured!
“That’ll be $2.98 with tax.” replied Xanthippe, moving provocatively, to draw his attention back to the area of her nametag.