‘* have been chasing that demon for years and i swear, she by far the most annoying vampire i’ve ever seen, and i dont have to tell you two, i’ve seen a LOT.’
“Jack,” God said, “I shall cure you of your lactose intolerance and spare your life, but on ONE condition…”
“You’ve got to do something about this Jerry Falwell guy. I’d take care of it myself but my charter specifically forbids me from interfering with religious zealot’s”
“Kneel before me, and renounce your lifelong belief that Jamie Farr is the true living incarnation of Buddha. I mean, that’s just dumb any way you look at it anyhow.”
(Lose sight of the concept, Skybum? ;))
“Maybe I should just be an athiest,” Jack returned. Having found his dead ex in his kitchen, hounded by police, and on the brink of death because of ice cream, it was clear to Jack that God had not been good to him today.
“Not until you learn to spell it,” smirked God. “And as for you, Nathan…”
“Oh no, I’m in trouble now, aren’t I?” Nathan stammered.
“Perchance do you know what ‘smite’ means?” asked God.
Quaking in his gumshoes, Nathan closed his eyes and awaited the worst.
“Repent?!? Can I live live if I repent? Please forgive my sins!” But Nathan new full well this was just a last ditch effort to safe himself.
"So what if Jack is an idiot who couldn’t spell his way out of a paper bag? God, at least let me live long enough to see him die!
“Tick… tock… tick… tock!” said God, ominously.
U guessed it.
I used to keep a clue around here somewhere…
"Very scary, " said Nathan, “making me wait 4 days to find out my fate, but could we get on with it please?”
“With what? Oh, yes, your fate, your fate. Of course,” said God. "Since I forgot about you for four days, Nathan, I will allow you to repent. Your penance shall be this…
“…Xylophoning hymms every Sunday for the next ten years.”
“You do realize I’m tone-deaf…?” replied Nathan.
Zut alors! Just fake it!
Wait! I meant:
“Zut alors! Just fake it!” snapped God.