A surprising encounter for the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society w/H4E

The BBQ Pit
1

Hiyruu: …so you see, that by reconciling love and the golden harmonic we have hard proof (SCIENCE proof too. Not that other stuff) that Jews are the moon-men who love giving blow-jobs in SUV’s to Englebert Humperdink.

(Everyone nods. It’s all comin’ together! )

(Well, almost everyone)

Moo-Moo: What about returned trolls? Huh? There’s thousands of trolls infesting the SDMB! How does THAT fit into your too-too pat theory?! The MODS know! Those Mods are engaging in disgusting, slime-encrusted, vile, hatred-spewing, stupid…

(“Lenny and Squiggy”-like, His4Ever walks in)

His4Ever: Hello.

KayKay: Hellooooo Nurse! I love giving blow-jobs. ALL women should give blow-jobs.

His4Ever: Then you’re goin’ to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks

Seethruart: Hedoublehockysticks? What? Does this have to do with the moon-men? Is this a code?

Sweet Willy: It sounds like a jewish code. Jews control hockey.

KingNifty: Cite?

Taggart: A republican Jewish code. Um…I’m a Republican, by the way. Really. Honestly.

KingNifty: Cite?

FatherJohn: A Republican-Jewish code about SUVs! ON THE MOON!

(FatherJohn grins. It’s still all comin’ together.)

His4Ever: No! The…um…the hot place!

KayKay: My bedroom?

His4Ever: No. (thinks) Well, maybe. Don’t you see? Jesus hates you and wants to send you to…um…the burny place with the fire and the devils and the pitchforks.

Sweet Willy: The headquarters of the Anti Defamation League?

KingNifty: You’re not in GD. Cite?!

His4Ever: Don’t you see? Unless you believe in HIM, he’s gonna make you BURN! He hates you and wants to see you burn but if you say the magic words he’ll save you. But you HAVETA SAY THE MAGIC WORDS! Since you’re being mean, I’m going to leave.

Hiyruu: He-who?

Deeward: I think she means Englebert. But she’s wrong. Englebert loves us, every one.

Hiyruu: (nods) I see.

KingNifty: No you don’t. Not without a cite.

Taggart: As a republican, I want to know what the magic words are.

His4Ever: No! I mean Jesus!

Deeward: There’s no need to swear. Englebert wouldn’t want it.

His4Ever: I’m NOT swearing! I mean Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! And I’m leaving. You’re just being mean to me ‘cause Jesus doesn’t hate me as much as he hates all of you. Don’t listen to the liberal so-called Christians talking about Jesus’s lovingkindness and compassion an’ stuff. Jesus hates you. He hates everyone. That’s why he’s sendin’ you to the burning place. 'Cause he hates you. But not me ‘cause I’m special. He luvs me. And the magic words that’ll make him save you is “Jesus loves me/Yes he do/This I know/ 'cause it is true”. An’ if you say the words you can do whatever you want

Seethruart: Jesus was an alien, you know.

His4Ever: What?

Seethruart: Y’know all that stuff about wheels in the sky and flaming chariots? He was an alien. Anti-gravity devices.

Hiyruu: Anti-Gravity devices can be made with popsicle sticks, if they’re set up via the golden ratio. It’s possible that the Cross was made with the Golden Ratio in mind.

FatherJohn: FatherJohn can’t remember…isn’t Jesus the one who turns everything to gold with his touch? (Unlike SUVs which ruin everything)

His4Ever: No. That was Midas! And I’m going. And Jesus hates you. But he loves me. Nyaah.

FatherJohn: Then what was Jesus’s super power?

His4Ever: He turned water into wine…

FatherJohn: He polluted our water? FatherJohn thinks there’ll be a lot of DEAD FISH if you turn oceans into booze! What kind of stupid-super-power is that?

His4Ever: It’s NOT A SUPER POWER! You’re all being mean. I’m leaving.

Uekte: How old was Jesus. Cause if Jesus was old then he SHOULD DIE!

His4Ever: He was crucified at 33 years old. By the way. I’m leavin’ and you’re burning…well, you WILL be burning.

Ukete: That’s not old. He shouldn’ta died.

Jack Dean Tyler: Do you think that Jesus was circumcised?

His4Ever: Of course he was. And I’m leaving. And THEN you’ll be sorry ‘cause without me, you’ll burn and Jesus and me ‘ll look down from heaven and laugh and laugh and laugh as your skin crackles and hair blackens and flesh melts and you’ll scream forever and ever and ever but you’ll never get out of the burny place but me and Jesus will be together forever and you’ll be with the homersexuals an’ th’ forner-caters an’ th’ mean people and like that. And we won’t be. So I’m going.

(As she flounces out the door, she turns her head, looks over her shoulder and sticks out her tongue.)

Hiyruu: That was…odd. And this is ME saying that.

SweetWilly: I wonder if she w…

FatherJohn: No, you idiot. Of course she wasn’t Jewish. :rolleyes:

Seethruart: Yeah you moron. It was obvious that she was an alien.

2

That’s it. You’re goin’ to hell.

3

you don’t really think she’s going to reply here, do you?

heres a rainbow
:wink: :slight_smile: :o :cool: :mad: :confused: :frowning: :rolleyes: :stuck_out_tongue:

4

Be even funnier if she flounced away while riding an SUV . . .or would that be overkill?

Heh. Heh. Heh.

I wanna be an OTP too.

5

haven’t you forgotten:

“I’ll give you 10,000 if you can prove Jesus existed.!”
“will be back tomorrow with the proof.”

:wink:

6

Ohh, barother! More nonsense. Doesn’t even deserve anyone’s notice. Puuleeeeeez, give me a break!

7

Fenris was exaggerating to try and be funny.
He’s like that.

8

By the way, please stop impersonating me. You do not speak for me.

9

You speak for your God. That’s okay, but Fenrisatire isn’t?

10

He’s not speaking for you. He’s mocking you.

11

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

12

I believe Satire is covered under fair usage of copywritten material.

13

I believe Saltire is a poster here.

14

I think we may all be going to hell:
Do not wear clothing of two kinds of material (Lev. 19:19)
Do you think my Satanic micromesh underwear will keep me cool?

15

Bwah-ha-ha!

“Doesn’t deserve anyone’s notice”

and, several minutes later

“stop impersonating me”

:: snerk ::

Life imitates art.

Fenris

PS: Vanilla “trying to be funny”??? “trying”??? :: sobs ::

16

his4ever, at least you’re not being ignored . . . :slight_smile:

17

Mocking? Heck, it looks like he has her dead-to-rights.

18

Nice work, Fen.

b.

19

Actually it was kind of nostalgic seeing seethruarts name again… But where the hell is his links to his webpage that shows close up pictures of dirt

“See there is the second stage of a proton rocket, they are mocking us! Here is another view upside dow and onther with a filter, and one upside down with a filter…”

20

We’re mean. Why aren’t you leaving?