Arr, I don’t care who’s captain of this tub. Just put me in charge of the gundeck and bring a fat galleon in my sights matey !
Iron Roger Roberts
A pirate’s life isn’t easy; it takes a tough person. That’s okay with you, though, since you are that person. Two things complete your pirate persona: style and swagger. Maybe a little too much swagger sometimes – but who really cares? Arr!
Red James Bonney, Pilot & Able Seaman, damn yer eyes fer a halibut.
Calico Anne Read
Often indecisive, you can’t even choose a favorite color. You’re apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You’ve got taste and education. Arr!
Is Anne the only woman’s name?!
Hey, we can all meet up at one of these places.
And I be the Dread Pirate Kidd.
“Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!”
What makes this funnier is that last week I discovered a sty on my left eye, and went to the nice doctor, who drained it and gave me…
AN EYEPATCH!
I’ve been listening to this all week. Doesn’t help that I have black hair and a goatee, and, being a fencer, have one wall in the house covered with swords. One more person asks me where the parrot is, I’ll have them keelhauled, so I will. God, I miss depth perception.
STEWARD! Grog for the men! Arr…
Yarrrr! Mad John Flint, I be! An’ Crunch Frog be stealin’ me moniker! I’ll run ye through, ye filthy dog! Shiver me timbers an’ walk me plank!
Whar be the wimmin? Take me to yer berth, wenches, an’ I’ll show ye whar the shark bit me!
In days of old when ships were bold just like the men who sailed them
And if they showed us disrespect we’d tie them up and flail them
Often men of low degree and often men of steel
We’d make them walk the plank alone or haul them round the keel
Hoist the Jolly Roger!
A - a beer
B - beer
C - the thing we sail on *(with waving arm motion)
D - das beer - German for beer
E - 'e needs a beers
F - F I only had a beer
G - gee I wish I had a beer
H - each and everyone of us needs a beer
I - What we says to the cap’n
J - The guy what pours the beer
K - J’s wife
L - … uh, not with ladies present
M - 'em guys over there need a beer
N - 'nother beer
O - oh I wish I had a beer
P - self explanat’ry
Q - a French word *(I prefer “the line to the john”)
R - a pirate’s favorite word
S - what you fall on when you’ve had to much beer
T - why we beat the English
U - you need a beer
V - 'vee all need a beer
W - you and you need a beer
X - Jay’s former wife
Y - why don’t we all have a beer
Z - ze beer - French for beer
Pirate vowels: A, E, I R, U, an’ sometimes Y.
Arrrrghhhh!!!
My Name be Iron Jack Kidd!!!
Iron Jack Roberts
Mind you, I’d like to be on one o’them fancy-smacny Ice-Breakers.
Iron Harry Kidd
A pirate’s life isn’t easy; it takes a tough person. That’s okay with you, though, since you are that person. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
1000! Woo-Hoooo…!
I be Mad Anne Bonney.
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!
I must have a whole buncha long lost relatives around here. My grandfather was a Captain Kidd, for real.
Your pirate name is:
Mad Anne Read
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You’ve got taste and education. Arr!
(where’s a pirate smiley when you need one?)
GAAAARGH!!! I be Iron John Kidd they don’t be calling me Iron for nothing <nudge nudge> <wink wink>but I notice that most of us seem to be related! Shiver me timbers my mommy was a briney slut RAAAGH!tis’ be making me cry
Avast, ye scruvy dog–that be my name. Draw hangers and have at ye!
I be Mad Mary Kidd.
Arr!
I shouldn’t have answered Parrots are Tasty, methinks.
Bloody Tom Flint, at your service. Will you be having the drubbing with a naked cutlass this evening, or the keelhauling?
Yeah, THE Mad Anne Kidd. The devil that spawned me and my sisters didna have much imagination.
Here’s fair warning: The first slitherin’ sea-dog to think o’ layin’ a hand on this buxom lass will be tied to the mast and taste me cat o’ nine tails! There’s not a man alive brave enough to try to unbuckle my swash!
Long live Mad Anne Kidd!
Arr! Who am I to argue in the face of such great truth.
Captain Jack Read
Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you’re the one in charge. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You’ve got taste and education. Arr!
Bloody John Vane
Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it’s the open sea. For others (the masochists), it’s the food. For you, it’s definitely the fighting. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that’s okay, because it’s much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!
Captain Anne Bonney
See that? I’m a captain. Me!
Wait, I meant to say, "Swab that deck, you bloody teetotalers!’ ArrrrrrRRR!
Just in case you were wonderin’:
Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you’re the one in charge. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!
AAarrrrgh.
Me name be Iron Jack Read.
When I comes ashore, men cower in fear and the sheep run and hide.