Absurdist jokes

A guy was at a pro shop one day, and who does he see but Arnold Palmer! The guy walks up to the golf legend and says “You know, Mr. Palmer, they have a drink named after you.” Arnold says “Really? They have a drink named ‘Sam’!?”

I don’t know if this quite qualifies for what you want, but I like to share it. This is a joke a particularly funny guy told me in junior high:

Three men jumped off a bridge. (long beat) They died.

The delivery, plus the subversion of expectations that it was going to be a joke, made me laugh. Everyone thought that was the funniest thing ever.


No soap, radio.

What do I look like, a typewriter!?

How do you get down from a tree?

You don’t get down from a tree. You get down from a duck.

How do you get down from a duck?

It’s easy. A duck not as tall as a tree.

Why does a chicken? I don’t know why.

– Winifred T. Pooh

Why is a mouse when it spins?

The higher the fewer.

This is a real joke. It was my grandpa’s favorite joke and BG (before Google) I thought he made it up to mess with people. But lo and behold,other people have heard it too..

What’s the difference between a duck?
Its back left leg is both the same.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish.

Knock knock.

Okay, is this one?

I walked out of a movie once. It was over…

I made it up.

I like.

I also like the one where you tell them to start.

Q. Why is an elephant like an eggplant?
A. They’re both purple, except for the elephant.

Scout camp in the 60’s… no, that’s not a joke, this is a story about a joke.
The camp director was fairly humor-impaired, and was late for dinner the first night. So one of the staff came up with an idea, that people take turns during the week telling lonnnng, involvvvved jokes that took most of the dinner hour. The punch line would be absurd, but everyone would laugh themselves silly except the director.

It worked! In fact, I could recite one right now:

Two rabbits are separated at birth as their ice floe breaks in pieces (Oh, they were arctic bunnies, you see), and their mother shouts after them to never forget…
[ten minutes of impromptu plot follows]
…and with his dying breath the ancient rabbit says… “Lightbulb!”

[cue hilarious laughter, and a food fight] [and, cue director looking puzzled]

Moved Cafe Society --> MPSIMS.


Them: Knock knock
You: who’s there?
Them: :confused:

I first heard “the higher the fewer” on that Star Trek Next Generation episode. It made sense to me because I equated it to “it’s lonely at the top,” it being said by a Roman senator/Greek philosopher-type character.

That’s one of my dad’s favorite jokes to tell kids. Especially because sometimes they’ll invent something amazing on the spot.

Part of the intro of Tom Baker’s Doctor.

[from memory]

Doctor: “If the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the square of the sum of the other two sides…?”

Harry Sullivan: “Yes?”

Doctor: “Why is a mouse when it spins.”

And of course, “The higher, the fewer” from that Alexander TNG ep mentioned above.

And, my standard absurd answer to virtually any question, joke or not, brought to you by a king not covered in shit: A Duck!