I dusted off my laptop to make this a little easier so I can give some more details now.
I don’t. It’s nice to have reassurance though. I have no doubts that I am doing the right thing by looking into this further and putting up some alerts but that doesn’t mean I haven’t questioned it at all. But ultimately I really feel like I have a greater duty to this boy than I do to my friendship or this woman or her husband and their feelings or anybody else. It’s still comforting to have people in agreement with that. It gives me strength and motivation somehow. So thanks for that, everybody.
I said the exact same thing except my hypothetical acceptable discussion went like this: “Do you have access to condoms? Would you like me to get you some just in case?” That’s it. He doesn’t even need to know that they’re actually having sex. He knows it’s a possibility, so address it as though it’s happening and be done with it. As you said, no details etc. needed.
I don’t know. I don’t even know if he’s actually committed a crime. But, as I said above, I feel a moral obligation to protect this kid to the very best of my ability, which maybe isn’t much considering I’ve never even met the kid, but I’m going to do what I can.
I read through our entire text conversation again and damn near made myself sick. Early in the conversation, when I gave Donna the idea that perhaps she’s not the only person The Boy showed the texts to, I got this as a reply: “I hope he showed them to no one.” That’s just so wrong. I definitely would want my kid to show me something like that and I know damn well she would want to know if somebody was creeping on her daughters, so wtf?
She’s “freaked out.” That is all I’ve been told about her feelings about this particular thing. As far as her opinion of Henry, she hates him. They have a terrible relationship and have as long as I’ve known them. She can’t stand him. So I used that with Donna, thinking if she’s not going to give a fuck about this boy and do it for HIM, maybe she’ll do it for self-preservation.
Oh, let me back up for a minute. I said at one point that I wonder what happens to her, as a mandated reporter and the person The Boy went to for help, if she does nothing and The Boy shows someone else and that person escalates the complaint and then The Boy says, “Well, Donna knew.” Her reply was that she is almost certain The Boy won’t do that.
So I suggested to her that The Girl doesn’t like Henry anyway and, if those two kids were to put their heads together for a minute, this is a great way for her to get rid of Henry. I told her it’s more than a little naive to convince herself that neither of them are going to tell anybody else and suggested that it would be infinitely better for her if she were the one to report it rather than waiting for somebody else to do it and then have to justify later why she didn’t say anything. And all day long it’s been, “I know that. I don’t know what to do. I don’t who to call. I know I have to do something. I know. I know. I know. I know I have to talk to him but I don’t know what to say.” Really? How about, “Hey, why the fuck are you so interested in how a teenage boy masturbates?” You don’t know what to do? FUCKING LEAVE. Don’t know who to call? How about any one of the people I have repeatedly suggested?
I’m just as disgusted with her at this point as I am with him. She told me her dad is concerned about both her girls, concerned that Henry will hurt them somehow. And I told her it has crossed my mind more than a few times today things like “Well, why IS their relationship (Henry and The Girl) so terrible? Why does The Girl REALLY have so many issues? Why is she such a jerk to Donna all the time?” And she said she’d thought about that, too, but she thinks it’s baseless because, quote, “I don’t think Henry likes girls at all.” So, yeah drew, I guess no worries. :rolleyes: (That’s for Donna, not you.)
I emailed the school social worker. I’m not sure if she’s the same person whose voicemail I was transferred to when I called but either way at least I’m not stuck playing phone tag with somebody and nothing gets done. I’ll do whatever next step is suggested, I suppose. I’m done discussing this with Donna. I can’t handle her ridiculousness anymore, her bullshit hand-wringing “omg, it’s all so terrible!!” despite the fact that she’s completely unwilling to do anything at all about any of it.