Having read more I’d say good for him. No reason why he should have to put up with this whilst being badmouthed to all an sundry.
Taking his story at face value (why not?) she sounds like a nightmare and that this is a recurring theme. I fully understand and support why he’s done what he’s done, I also understand why he was calm and dispassionate while filming it seeing as he’d seen it many times before.
Were the situation exactly the same but the genders reversed I suspect there wouldn’t be half the complaints about posting the video on the internet.
I guess I have a different understanding of what marriage means. I take “for better, or worse” to mean that you don’t secretly film your spouse at her worst and then post it online for giggles. You try to work through the issues and if you can’t you realize that getting married in the first place was a mistake and move on.
I can kind of understand his attitude - she has been poor-mouthing him to her Facebook friends, and now the whole Internet can see the other side of it. I wonder how often she has mentioned her substance abuse problems to her Facebook friends.
I would say they would be well rid of each other, except each will run out and find somebody worse.
This was my thought as well.. part of the manipulation and tantrum…
Kid wants a huge candy bar. You can’t have a candy bar <tantrum ensues> You won’t even get me a little candy bar. Ok, here is a little candy bar. I don’t want that little candy bar, I want the big candy bar.
Have lived this guy’s life. It’s not the cigarettes. It’s not the panic attack. It’s the I want what I want.
Because it’s a stupid hypothetical. You want us to make a value judgement about their personalities based on 2 minutes of a marital spat. They both seem incredibly immature in their approach to interpersonal relationships, but I don’t see how that’s going to affect me when I’m stranded on an island. This guy can’t even rotate his own fucking tires, what good is he going to be in a survival situation? And at least she’s got woman parts, which I’m pretty fond of. Give the options, I’d probably rather be alone.
Totally agree. Not only that, but male shaming would rear it’s ugly head with calls to "man up, loser, grow up " etc… I don’t have the time, nor the interest to check but I suspect up loading videos of perceived “poor male behaviour” for the most part would be championed amongst feminist circles. Double standard indeed.
I would choose the wife in a heartbeat. Her reaction to frustration is to throw a fit, which is certainly obnoxious. But his reaction to frustration is to deliberately try to hurt and humiliate people. I’ll take “childish” over “actively mean spirited and willing to ruin lives” any day.
I’ll grant that there may be more to the story. But I’m not jumping to take his story at face value given than A: they are mid-divorce and B: he has demonstrated contempt for and a desire to hurt her.
So? No one has specifically said that they agree with you, even those who have specifically said that the woman is in the wrong.
While you seem determined to insist on this being a black and white issue, many of the rest of us do not. You’ve also repeatedly equated wife beating with a temper tantrum.
If the situation were completely reversed, where the husband was the one throwing the tantrum, but not being violent, the wife had secretly filmed it and continued to egg him on, then I think you would get a similar reaction blaming her.
Of course, there will be a certain percent of the people who will always side with the guy, some who will always side with the woman, but the majority is more reasonable than that.
[QUOTE=Drunky Smurf]
Why do you want to know?
[/QUOTE]
Because if schism just wants to do her, then I want in too…but there’s no way I’m taking that bitch to dinner.
Do any other people in this thread get the feeling that some Dopers throw occasional tantrums and that’s why they are actively defending her?
[ul]
[li]“Sure, the wife looks pretty bad but nobody’s perfect”[/li][li]“Her reaction to frustration is to throw a fit, which is certainly obnoxious. But his reaction …”[/li][li]etc[/li][/ul]
Basically, it looks like some people are vicariously defending the times *they *throw tantrums.
She should think about how she doesn’t like to be publicly humiliated the next time she decides to post their biz to her facebook friends. She liked to play the humiliation game, and it turned out he was better at it.
I’ve seen worse. She’s obviously a little drunk. Big deal. I think a have a soft spot in my heart (head?) for slightly crazy chicks anyway. What does that say about me? I’ll have to ask my therapist.