When I was a kid, my mom tried to get me to play with a K-Mart bag, and I was so upset I nearly cried. All of my friends had Polo bags, and one was even allowed to huff glue inside of a really nice heavyweight Guess bag. I was so embarrassed of my K-Mart bag that I never did play with it.
I got to do “family week at rehab” with my sister. You haven’t seen 40 adults blaming their parents (many of whom are shelling out $50,000 for five weeks at rehab) for screwing up their life until you’ve been to family week.
Yes, there was some ‘you let my stepfather sexually abuse me’ - hey, they can carry guilt for that one - but in so many of these cases it was normal kid bullshit - “I’m hurt because you didn’t get me a pony and that’s why I’m a huge cokehead.”
Nah, her first mistake was in not swallowing when given the option. 
You’re right of course.
To me, it’s one thing to tell an 18-year-old, “suck it up, you’re an adult now,” and another for a parent to say “you’re 18 now, not my fault you’re a fuck up.”
His father, of course, is entirely blameless, poor helpless man that he is.
That is actually dangerous, abused kids need to be heard. There are more of them than you think.
I don’t know what dad’s status is. I heard mention that there is a dad, and he apparently walks on water.
But I’m willing to blame both parents, if that’s what you’re concerned about.
I have a cat. He lets me think that I make the rules.
Fortunately, he doesn’t go dissing me to his doggie pals.
Sponging and disrespecting.
Some kids help their parents.
Some kids ignore their parents.
Some kids sponge and disrespect their parents.
Maybe he’s hoping that if he does the “right” thing, she’ll become a “good” mom?
Sometimes one adult gets to sit on the couch eating bon-bons while the other adult makes all the money and lets the other adult sit on the couch eating bon-bons. We call this “trophy wife/boy-toy.”
Then come divorce time the bon-bon eating spouse gets a lawyer and the judge says, "well we, as a society, have decided if you let this other adult get accustomed to a life of bon-bon eating, you have a responsibility to pay alimony/palimony etc.
So, sometimes adults get into a co-dependent relationship and the one holding the pursestrings doesn’t get to not get complained about.
I think Jodi is referring to adult family members.
I wonder, if you had half-siblings, would they listed as “Other Volume?”
I think the OP is a whiny little self-entitled feeling punk who needs to be kicked to the fucking curb.
Do you mean the OP, or the Pitee?
Count me in with the “shit or get off the pot” crowd.
I hated my mum in my teenage years. She’d made no secret of the fact that I was an accident, and if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t have married my father and her life wouldn’t have been the single-mother-to-two-kids shithole that it was.
So at 17, with 9 months full time work and a couple of hundred dollars savings under my belt I got the fuck out of there and got my own (share) place in another city.
And you know what? I grew up. And started to appreciate what my mum was going through - sure, some of the things she said to me when I was a teen were pretty nasty, but I was pretty nasty myself. Moving out, having to be responsible for my own fucking self and my own life and bills made me realise that I’d had it pretty sweet at home. Mum and I started getting on better, and I moved back to my home town. I now live about 10 minutes drive away from her and we see each other at least once a week, and keep in contact by email and phone nearly daily. We’re actually friends now.
You say there’s a lot going on that we “don’t understand or know about”. All we see is what you tell us. And what we see is someone in his 20s who hasn’t got the nous to find himself a real job, complaining because his mom is trying to help him by making sandwiches and finding/tailoring suits for him to try and get a job.
I’d pit that person as well. Eating bon-bons through a marriage should not entitle you to alimony (and in many states it doesn’t).
Sure, Mom (and probably Dad) is partly to blame for letting the OP not grow up. But Mom isn’t bitching about the situation - if she was, most of the Dopers telling LOUNE he is a disrespectful sponge would be telling Mom “hey, what’s your part in this - stop fixing him his damn sandwiches and give him 30 days to move out - or at least tell him ‘while you live in my house you will treat me with respect - or you can go sleep on someone’s couch’.”
Have you seen the movie “Spanglish” with Adam Sandler, Téa Leoni, and Paz Vega? (A surprisingly not completely sucky movie, by the way.) Téa Leoni’s character is a perfect example of what you’re describing here - she’s a horrible person who does horrible things, and when the shit hits the fan, everything is her mother’s fault. It’s a stupid, powerless way to live your life; if you take no responsibility, you get no power.
Let me clear up the score card here. Least Original User Name Ever, you may never openly insult the person who is supporting you. Either you look like an inconsiderate asshole or a selfish asshole…either way, you know. Get a job, get a life, get off the boards if you need too.
Well, that’s not my case, but I’ve known plenty of elderly individuals who had to live with their children. My great-grandfather lived with my mother’s family towards the end of his life-he switched back and forth between my grandmother’s house and her elder sister’s. I also have a friend at work who had to move back home to help take care of his parents.
Now, in MY case, well, I confess-I’m still living at home and I’m almost thirty. Yeah, maybe it is pathetic. But quite frankly, it’s also none of your damned business.