I did something very, very stupid this weekend. My wife left town for two weeks to go see her folks. The very day she left, I got very drunk, drove to Vegas, and used my check card to drop $1200 at a casino. I won all but $100 back.
I don’t drink because I act stupid when I do. I quit drinking about a year ago, and, while I have had the occasional beer, I’ve been doing great. The first time she leaves town, I buy some vodka, which leads to a six-pack, which lead on from there. I just can’t stop with one. I’m being crushed with an enormous amount of guilt. I can’t believe I was so stupid that I actually got drunk, then drove to Vegas (a couple of hours away), and then gambled, which is also something I never do. I just wanted to do something wild and crazy.
I feel horribly guilty because I took $1200 out of our checking account. I’ve re-deposited the $1100 I got back. Mainly, I just kept my head above water, and decided to pull out before I lost anymore.
I’m such an idiot. She won’t be home for a while, and she likely won’t notice just $100 missing out of checking. Nevertheless, I feel so guilty that I want to come clean.
Should I? Mainly, I would tell her for my own benefit, to ease my own guilt. She would be horribly disappointed. I’ve really hit rock bottom, and I’m sure that I won’t be drinking again. Mainly, she would really likely never find out.
I just don’t know. Please, someone help me. I’m having horrible panic attacks. My hands and face constantly get numb, and I can’t sleep.