I think you just answered any and all questions. 
I told him I wasn’t going to get him food unless he provides the money, a relationship is give and take. He said he’d give me some cash.
You’ve got to know that it’s more complicated than “Medicaid and Medicare pay for things”, otherwise he wouldn’t be running around hiding assets. And every adult has bills, although sometimes those bills are paid by a family member or government agency.
https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/question/what-is-the-medicaid-marriage-penalty/
Just don’t be stupid. And honestly, I think you’re being a little disingenuous, like you want us to pretend we’ve never read your previous postings about this relationship.
Judging solely by the above words, this does not sound like the basis or foundation of a satisfying relationship for you.
Missed edit window
I’m confused about something. In the OP, it sounds like your plan was predicated on you being his aide and the income ( I assume that “east money” was a typo for “easy money” ) that you would get for being his primary caregiver. But three posts back you said that you weren’t going to be his paid aide, you were just going to help out for free. How will you support yourself? Do you have other work aside from being his aide?
This is one one of the most damning indictments of religion that I’ve heard in a long time.
You are certainly entitled to your beliefs, but you’ve already “committed” that sin, so getting married to essentially launder your bad deed strikes me as one of the worst reasons to ever contemplate marriage.
And, if I may: sexual fulfillment is something that many women have taken ownership of. Having a sexual relationship without the confines of marriage is something they’ve chosen for themselves, and they aren’t considering it a poor deal for them. I don’t think your sexual mores fairly apply to these people.
As for a broader opinion on the whole thing:
This.
From what I recall of your posts about this situation, you are very insecure and need a lot of validation. Weren’t you upset because he was interested in playing video games instead of sex?
Even if he was stable, I do not believe that you are coming at this from a healthy place. You seem to be eagerly in search of companionship, but your life will only become a toxic mess if you get more intertwined with this person, who has his own immense personal problems to deal with.
Don’t get married. Get a pet so you don’t feel so alone, and then consider counseling to address your emotional fragility.
I just got hired for 2 part time jobs.
I met him June of last year. Before that, I was happily unattached for 2 years.
If you were happy being unattached, then why attach yourself to this drama? Does it make your life more interesting? Is it your purpose in life to save people, (or at the least, him)? Does he offer you things others simply cannot give you?
Being happily unattached means you are choosing to be in this relationship, and would be fine if you walked away.
Are you fine if you walked away?
Yes. When I left him last Nov, I was fine. He reached out to reconcile.
If its not meant to be, I’ll be fine. I can wait and see what happens, if everything starts going south, I’ll be fine single.
Re: sex. Women can have all the sex they want, for me, its best in marriage, physically and emotionally.
I’m not telling anyone what to do. I still would’ve wanted to marry him.
You mentioned upthread that one reason he didn’t want to marry was that it would negatively affect his SSI and SDI benefits?
Have you addressed those concerns or have you decided that you just don’t care? Because the income from your two new jobs may be considered joint income and that might trigger a recalculation of his benefits. Even a modest working class income can bring a couple over the limits for full benefits.
I appreciate that you think sex is better in marriage, but there are situations, usually involving older people or people with disabilities, where marriage is financially disadvantageous and you should not ignore this. Many loving and committed couples forego marriage for financial reasons. Maybe you could have a religious ceremony while remaining legally single. And, although I don’t know if this is applicable, don’t let a pastor or religious leader pressure you into a financially disadvantageous marriage.
I glanced at the link I posted upthread regarding the Medicaid marriage penalty, and while I’m not sure I interpreted it correctly I think I saw an interesting Catch-22. It seems like your ( the spouse’s) income may not count against his benefits as long as he is in a nursing home.
Anecdotally, this had me thinking about a case my attorney (the one that helped my navigate my mother’s health care benefits) told me about. It was financially advantageous for his client to be in a nursing home (probably because of the rule I mentioned above), but the client really wanted to be at home with his family. So his family signed him out every morning and brought him back at bedtime every night.
The point of this story is that you two should consult with an attorney or benefits specialist. You asked for practical advice and that’s what I’ve been giving you. I’m not passing any judgements on your relationship or telling you not to get married. I’m just telling you to lead with your head, not your heart.
I called Job and Family Services. His medicaid would not be affected. He must call social security to see if his mediCare would be.
My total income would be about 1,000 a month. I don’t Need to make a lot, as where I live, its a third of my income for rent.
Yes, hes offered the religious ceremony, but so many church people claim without the legal paperwork, its a sin. This doesn’t make sense; was the government signing off back thousands of years ago?
Why did you reconcile? His life is a mess. Why do you need that drama?
Is it for lack of options? Does he offer you something unique that you can’t get elsewhere? Why not aspire to a better match?
Then date him from a distance. Don’t cohabitate. Don’t get married. If you enjoy his company, spend time with him. But don’t become intertwined with his life while you “wait and see what happens” - don’t create legal relationships (like husband and wife, or even co-tenants), and don’t commingle funds.
Why does that matter to you? Do you socialize with these people? Do they have some other sort of sway over you? In my experience, “church people” make lots of claims, but none of them are worthy of any consideration.
I can say I have a bond with him.
As for others opinions, no, but if it is a sin, he (or anyone else) isn’t worth missing Heaven for.
I already told him that. We did have sex a few times in his room there.
Then my advice is to remain in contact, and spend lots of time with him.
But don’t marry him. Or live with him. Or take on the obligation of running his life. That way leads to ruin.
(I also don’t actually think you’ll agree with this. I think this guy’s situation has become your situation, and we’ll get future threads about your troubled housing problems)
I think that’s nonsense, but I respect the fact that others feel otherwise. I guess it explains why you have resisted temptation for so long…
Or not.
Did you think God wouldn’t notice?
Did you figure there was some loophole if you later got married, and that’s why it’s important to you now?
I have a hard time understanding how you could actually believe that having sex outside marriage would deny you a place in heaven and then go and do it.
I think religion is stupid - that’s why I fornicate outside of matrimony. Help me understand your logic.
I did it, with him and others, as I didn’t think I was worth it. If you believe you are worthwhile, you will wait to find a man who thinks you are, enough to marry you.
I gave in because I thought no guy will date you if you don’t have sex.
That used to be the Way for thousands of years.
Men worked to win their womans heart.
Would you go to an expensive car lot and say, Well, I’m not sure I really want to commit to this car, I’m going to drive it for years til I decide, but I’m not paying for it.
I have rectified my mistake; I told him I was done having sex til I’m married.
He wants to get a full price apt. together. I won’t do that. Anything happens to him and I’d be homeless.
No troubled housing here.
Bad emotional choices, you can say. But I’m not taking chances with my money or housing.
I haven’t met a Christian who believes any person is beyond salvation due to acts of fornication, provided he is repentant and not in a continuing state of sin.
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. ~ 1 Cor 6:9-11
~Max
You are mistaken. Repentance (some of you were) means you stop sinning.
That’s what I wrote… “provided he is […] not in a continuing state of sin.”
~Max