Many years ago I was dating three girls at one time. It went pretty well until Christmas when I made the mistake of cleverly (or so I thought) buying three identical necklaces. Two found out, the third lived in a different town and our relationship just fizzled out.
Hey, what can I say? I was voted Biggest Flirt of my high school sr. class?.
Enright3
“Damn, it’d be like two days at Disneyland without the kids!” - Comment by a male friend the first time he saw a picture of Phouka and her breasts.
I once dated 3 Daves (they didn’t know about each other). My mom can verify this. Every time one called she had to ask “Dave who?” I told them she was just really forgetfull. I was young, it was great, and once I had a movie date and I didn’t know which one was picking me up! (Dad took the message…forgot to ask for a last name).
Ahhhh…reckless youth!!
Zette
RE:OP- I think the only way to go is to date a friend. I was friends with my husband for about a year before anything happened between us, and we’re still great friends. Nothing wrong with that!
A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes. Zettecity
Like I said, I suck at relationship crap, but again, here’s my viewpoint:
Flyp, I’m not even sure what dating is. I don’t know if I’ve ever gone out on a date. I don’t like “official” things (too confining) and I don’t like having to be accountable for my actions (such as calling a “boyfriend” to say, “I’m out with Sally and we’re at the RVR and I’ll be home at 11”). I just like hanging out and if it turns into smooching, well, hey, it’s an added bonus.
I’ve discovered a lot of men don’t like this arrangement. They either just want to remain friends or want to keep me on a leash (figuratively, of course). But when I start hanging out regularily with someone, I will not stray. Especially if I’m satisfied
If you do score with this lady (who sounds very lucky, btw), it’ll help if you let her know you like her and what your intentions and expectations are. That way, there are no games and no questions. It may also be a good time to work out a compromise (by far the most painless way to have a relationship)
These nervous, gutwrenching moments are when you feel most alive - enjoy it, I’m rooting for you.
Pretty authoritative for not knowing anything, huh?
I realize that we all have different sets of morals here, but IMHO, you suffered no great loss if you were serious about her. On the other hand, if you just wanted to boff her …
Eh. I believe that, after ending a long-term relationship and being on her own for a couple months, she was just reeel starved for attention; could have been me, had I found my nuts in time. Not something she did habitually, in other words.
In any case, she’s long gone, and I’m done with it. Still makes me wonder, though.
I fully expect her to call me back; she always does. In fact, that’s one of the things that leads me to believe she may be interested. If she had ever ignored my calls, my “blown off” alarm would have sounded long ago. And from experience, dumping calls is a tried and true way for people to show they’re not interested.
This, of course, is perfectly balanced by the fact that she never calls me first. We always have enjoyable conversations (at least to my mind), and most times it’s me that has to end the call. But no calls forthcoming.
Huh. I thought this thread had a brick tied around its neck.
Okay, I went ahead with my plans to go out of town, and enjoyed myself. She hasn’t called back yet; I don’t know if that’s a signal or not. I won’t have a chance to talk to her until tomorrow. She’s a nursing student and works at a hospital, and it’s her last semester (this should make it obvious how hard it is to schedule stuff with her). I work late tonight, and I don’t like interrupting her sleep. But tomorrow, I’m getting a straight answer.
On a side note, I met another girl over the weekend. She seemed interested. I may (hopefully) find myself in the multiple dating world.
Thanks for asking, Mel.
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
I’m late getting on this board, but maybe I can still get my two cents in. As one of the all-time best-friend-wusses I feel I can speak with good experience.
Did I understand that you want to pour your heart out to her over the phone then ask her for a date? No no no!
If she’s as good a friend as you say she is, I don’t see what the problem is with asking her to meet you for a drink, lunch (less emotionally charged than dinner) or just asking to drop by her place for a brief talk.
If she says “can’t do it, I’m busy” – well, she’d have to be pretty dense not to suggest an alternate time to get together, or, as noted earlier, she’s sending you the get lost signal. (I was pretty dense on those signals myself, but I eventaully adopted the “3 strikes and I’m out” rule.)
Once you’re with her face to face, you can tell her straight out that you’d like to take the relationship to the next step, and you hope she feels the same way. It’s much easier to pick up on signals if you’re looking someone in the eye instead of on the phone.
One more bit of advice. This is what I’ve always done, and it always works. Ask her to go to the movies or something, and then all night treat her like it’s a date. Open doors, pay for things, sit close and put your arm around her shoulders. Be as obvious as you can without trying to get her into bed. If she doesn’t get the message, tell her that you really like her. I’ve never had to go so far as actually spilling my guts, but don’t be afraid to if necessary.
Cessandra
Why sex is better than religion: There are laws against forcing sex on minors who can’t think for themselves.
Thanks, Cess. I worry, though, that if I give a little too strong a signal, like the arm around the shoulder, then she’ll give me a stronger signal, like a palm acrss the face. Then I’d get the awkward fun of her not talking to me for the rest of the drive home.
I don’t know; maybe my outlook on women is a little old-fashioned. Hell, that could be my whole problem; sorta seems I have some kind of 1920s courting ritual thing going on in my head. Maybe I should try dating a 75 year old.
Stay tuned…
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Good luck there Flyp! I finally called it a day last weekend with a girl that I have been nuts about for a long long time but never did anything about. The things you regret most are the things that you were too afraid to do, and I sure regret that one, don’t fall into the same trap. Ask her out, make sure she knows its a date so there isn’t any of that He’s Such A Good Friend confusion. If that fails try: “http://www.wizard.net/~joelogon/platonic/”, its at least good for a laugh and oh so true. I hope that link works and I don’t get busted for accidentally posting smut or anything.
