no success yet? maybe he needs to through in a free breast exam.
That’s a good point.
And $1000 is a pretty lowball number anyway. Not only is he skeevy, he’s cheap.
Well, you’re assuming the “virgin bride between the ages of 12 and 24” has to be female.
Really? I got my first virgin for around $20 in drinks and some sweet talk.
Well, she was a very silly virgin.
My daughter is reading this over my shoulder, and says that she’s saving hers to put her through college. 
I don’t know what the bid deal is with virginity anyway. It’s like riding a bike. The first couple a times you fall off, skin your knees and your ass hurts. Once you get it down though, it’s fun!
OK. That was a waste of good bourbon. Now I have to dry the monitor… 
And if you fall on the bicycle a certain way, you’ll kill two birds with one stone!
Yeah but then again a 12 year old taking $1000 to sleep with some old guy isn’t a child.
i’m going to hell
It’s The Wrong Way. (Sublime)
I don’t know why we’re [ spoiler ]ing these anyway, but I’m not one to fuck with tradition:
There’s always the two-in-one method.
Hmm, what’s that smell? I think it’s brimstone. And it’s getting distressingly hot around here.
You rang?
Sigh.
Missed opporpunity: “You rank?”
Doomed seaman on wireless: “Help! Help! We are SINKING!”
German Coast Gaurd: “What are you sinking about?”