I appreciate that you enjoyed my interpretation of 99 Luftballoons at Karaoke during ChiDope weekend. I appreciate that you feel “we share a common interest”, though you won’t tell me what it is. I can only assume this means you are a bondage freak, because everything about you screams such proclivities. In my drunken stupidity, I gave you my email address, actually saying aloud “What’s the harm?”
75,000 patriotic spams and proposals of vaguely squirrelly sexual encounters later: I’m beginning to see the harm.
Just because a gal is into speaking German and talking about bondage doesn’t mean she’s a promiscuous, brainless leather whore.
I’ve told you repeatedly: I am married. I am not interested in fucking GOING TO GERMANY WITH YOU. I am not interested in meeting you at a secret, undisclosed location only to meet my untimely demise in a vat in your basement, rubbing lotion into a hairless cat.
It’s official, weirdo. Your email is now filtered directly to the trash. And now I can never go back to the Marigold because you’ve promised you’ll be watching for me.
Or maybe I will go back. And bring my 300 pound husband with me.
Should you ask, jar, I’m sure a couple of tons would be willing to accompany you guys to straighten Herr Ofthedog out. Please keep us posted as to his ultimate demise.
jar, you should go back with not only your hubby, but every other big motherfucker you can find, to, ah, explain to the gentleman why ceasing to email you would be a really good idea.
And am I the only one who read the “lotion on the hairless cat” thing and heard the eerie voice of Ted Levine telling the senator’s daughter- “it rubs the lotion on it’s skin, it does this whenever it’s told” from Silence of the Lambs?
Eeeeeew.
Sigh, I already offered to defend magdalene from the BritTwit, I must once again offer my ass Whupping services to you as well!
Tag team with Brian and myself…it would be fun! Rough, messy, and brutal, but fun:)
[sub]hmmmmmm…now that last statement works on SOOO many levels[/sub]
True, and yes, Miss Creant, except I don’t understand this “ahoy” business. Was the creepy German a sailor? Is he going to sail back to Germany?
Honest, not that it’s not a great rant or anything, but I can’t remember when I’ve been so confused by a jarbabyj OP. To say nothing of the lotion and the cat. To say nothing.
I only read the book, I never saw the movie but the weirdo (Buffalo Bill/Jame/Mr. Hide) had a poodle, not a cat. I don’t recall if it was hairless. He ordered his victims (or at least the one we met) to rub lotion on themselves not the poodle.
I think jarbabyj is just being jarbabyj and not referencing Silence of the Lambs in particular. It’s a great line, “lotion into a hairless cat”. I stand in awe, as usual.
First of all, I’ve mislead Fiver. The picture I showed you was of me and the lead singer of Rammstein. If he was my husband I would be incapable of typing or indeed functioning as a human being rather than a fucktoy.
My husband is a big, bald, goateed three hundred pound bouncer/hitman type of guy, but his villainy is foiled by his insane friendliness, optimism and proclivity towards hugging.
I’m afraid that I’ve thrown everyone off with the lotioned cat. I’m sorry. I was indeed going for that Buffalo Bill FEEL, but I didn’t want to copy him exactly.
Ahoy? It just came into my head as a way of getting someone’s attention.
and so I apologize.
And yes, Mike, I do want to go to Germany with you this weekend.
