ALL MEN who are reading this.... this only takes 40 seconds to read, I am pleading for help.

Sweetie, you might want to talk over some of your feelings about sex with a trusted, older female. If he’s heterosexual, he’s supposed to be attracted to you. Now, maybe you are a ‘wait until marriage’-type girl, and that’s OK, and maybe he’s that kind of guy, but if he’s sexually attracted to you, that doesn’t make him a skeeve.
And, really, how old are both of you?

I swear I tried to read that 3 times. I just can’t do it.

Teenage girl shocked teenage boy behaving like typical healthy teenage boy!!

Someone alert the media!

Maybe put off dating till you’re at least mature enough to comprehend the sexual drive of men your age. If this pushes you to ‘pleading for help’ it’s clear you’re not yet ready to handle adult male/female relationships.

(Who else is putting their money on 'will never return to thread?)
(Whacky conspiracy theory: someone working covertly for SDMB is doing their best to to keep traffic up, when things get too humdrum! That’s why the OP never returns. Tied up like a tidy package. You’re welcome!)

This took me more than 40 seconds to read.

Just kidding, I didn’t actually read it.

My first thought as well.

He sounds like an idiot. But show him your boobs anyway.


Okay now that you started you can’t stop or he’ll want to see you naked. Make sure you post this on 5 forums and press F5 10 times while texting him EVIL BE GONE.


I think my overly-hyperbolic early-teenager translator is working correctly

  1. His story doesn’t make any sense. My guess is that he’s really attracted to you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you upset, so he’s trying to put you at ease with an “experience” story, to assure you he’s different.

  2. In addition to what I said in 1 he’s trying to get you to see that sending pics is “normal” and nothing to be ashamed of (other people do it, after all).

  3. He was just testing the waters with you.

If you have to ask these sorts of questions, my guess is that you shouldn’t be sending those sorts of pics - it’s also probably illegal.

Isn’t Chris Hansen already here, interviewing Procrustus?

Not male, but somehow I think the OP could use some female advise too.

-He wants to see you naked
-This fact does not make him weird or a pervent or anything other than male
-When you mention a shower he is picturing you naked in the shower
-He would like pictures of you naked
-You have made it clear that you think that sending naked pictures is “skeevy”
-He knows that if you think he is “skeevy” he will never see you naked
-Therefore he will say that he was just kidding
-When you continue to press him he will tell you a story to show you that he agrees with you that sending naked pictures is “skeevy”
-He may or may not agree with this but he wants you to think that he agrees with you because he likes you and because agreeing with you is the best way to eventually see you naked
-He will still probably like you even if he does not see you naked
-The best way to test this is to not send him naked photos
-If he doesn’t like you for that reason then he probably isn’t the right guy for you

In summary:

He’s a normal teenaged boy

Check out the big brains on Brett! You’re a smart motherfucker, that’s right.

Yeah, I forgot to mention above that I’m female too. But seriously, this. Very very normal.

Wait, has anybody mentioned that he probably wants to see her naked? Because that’s at the core of 80% of male-female interactions, with 10% of the remainder involving gay guys and the other 10% being guys interacting with their mothers.

I kind of want to see her naked too

I blenched on reading this. Not so much the message — which I cannot advise upon even when I understood it — but because, on the assumption this is not a hoax, my moderating instincts kicked in like a mule seeing the girl’s christian name in there, which can be combined with her user-name to make this post one day an embarrassment.

I’d be very glad if it was redacted asap.

One of the primary rules of internet intercourse, as in certain real world venues, is ‘No Real Names’.
Or as the OP might say: ‘No Real Names’.

She shouldn’t be having intercourse anyway. That’s skanky. And here I thought she was different and special.


And I wouldn’t worry THAT much about just the name by itself. Her first and last names are overwhelmingly common. She’d have to give more geographical / biological information (or a photo) before anyone could even begin to narrow it down.

Which is to say, it’s a bad idea to provide such details on the Interwebz.


Having once been a normal teenaged boy, I have to agree.

I’m sure he was joking. He’s probably gay.