- He prefers the “more time together” dinner to the “less time together” coffee.
Ya done good!
Now – calm down and try not to worry about Monday!
Attagirl!
I just want to clarify my position. It’s not that I don’t think he’s attracted to you or likes you, it’s that, from what you described, he just doesn’t seem all rarin’ to see you. Yes, dinner takes longer than coffee, but with coffee, he would have seen you sooner. Does that make any sense? Back in the day, I had those relationships where I did a lot of the work and ultimately it never went anywhere. Because he just wasn’t that into it (but he was a little into it - similiar to what you have described) from the start, and I chose not to notice that. I was too busy being witty and charming. 
In retrospect, I wasted time and effort when I should have just bowed out because, for whatever reason, it wasn’t going anywhere. (and I was in a place in my life that I wanted it to go somewhere).
That’s my perspective and meant only as my perspective. Your situation or what you want out of this may be completely different.
Thanks Sat on Cookie, I appreciate the input. I realize he’s not all that rarin’ to see me and to be honest, I’m not all rarin’ to see him either. From the beginning, this hasn’t been a hot, need-to-see-each-other-as-soon-as-possible thing. I’ve had those things and they’re great. This has never been that way though.
This has been total cookie-cutter dating from the get-go which, fortunately, is exactly what I want/need right now. I really don’t have any room in my life right now to be caught up in a whirlwind romance. I told myself all through my first year of law school that I wouldn’t be seeing anyone (fortunately, the relationship I was in when I started school deteriorated soon after) and now that I’m a second year (at the top of my class, thank you very much!) I have a little more time to have somewhat of a social life, but it’s definitely not Harlequin Romance Time.
I actually think that’s kind of why I’m really into this guy. He’s really fun to be around, I have a great time with him and yet he’s “safe”. I know this isn’t going to turn into an intense, all encompassing romance. Most likely, it’s not going to turn into anything, and I’m completely okay with that. That’s part of the attraction, there’s no fear that it’ll get out of hand. I was just wigging out because for a minute there, I no longer knew if he was on the same page as me, or if he’d tossed the book all together.
For me, this isn’t a waste of time because I’m not out there actively searching for “The One”. I’m still young and idealistic enough to believe he’ll show himself when the time is right. And I get a strong feeling that now is not that time. I’m not entirely sure if he’s in the same place as me, but I get that vibe off of him. I’m sort of wondering how long it’ll be before he starts feeling like he is wasting time and takes a hike.
Could be that he’s also looking for “I like her but I’m not in love” at this point – if you’re both looking for the same thing, this could be a really stable sort of thing.
Hope this works out the way that works out best for you. (Which sounds kind of snarky but absolutely isn’t intended that way.)
I didn’t take it that way twick, thanks. 
Ah, good.
You do realize that you have to log on and report the minute he leaves, right?
I wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise!
As promised, here is the post-dinner report.
So, we went for dinner and I insisted on treating since I invited him (good thing he suggested a cheaper place this time!). We ate and had pretty nice conversation. I just got a different vibe from him this time around. There was this feeling there like we just sort of both realized this wasn’t going to go anywhere and for him, it appeared to be a deal breaker. He would usually think of something to do after dinner, hold my hand, stuff like that. This time? Nuthin. Drove me straight home after dinner.
I mentioned I watched The Apprentice after we hung up on Thursday and he said he didn’t realize I watched it and that he shouldn’t call me on Thursdays (even though he knows I tape it). I decided to take that comment on a deeper level. He drove me home and as I felt there was no point in inviting him in, I refrained. He said he’d call me on Thursday as usual and if I was engrossed in watching The Apprentice, I shouldn’t feel like I had to answer. I took that comment on a deeper level as well.
There was a quick, “grandma” kind of peck on the lips and we said goodnight.
Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to answer the phone on Thursday. It appears as if I’ve been given my opportunity to exit stage left and have been urged to take it. So take it, I will.
Ordinarily it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I didn’t get a call from the firm I interviewed with on Friday (I was supposed to get notified today at the latest) and that, coupled with this all in one day is really bringing me down. The weekend started off with so much hope and possibility and a mere two days later everything’s gone to shit. 
And with that little episode of self-pity, I’m out.
Exit, stage left.
{{{{{lezlers}}}}}
Sorry, hon.
Ah well, at least you know.
And yesterday was a bank/government holiday – is there any chance that might have been a factor in your not hearing from the interview people?
That’s actually what he suggested. I currently work for the government and so I had yesterday off. Other than government and bank employees though, it’s not really a “hot” holiday, you know? I’m highly doubtful a law firm would shut down operations for Columbus Day. But who knows?
Lez hey sweets… don’t sweat it. You deserve a whole lot better anyway. I’m not a kid anymore and I tell ya what. I still believe in the real thing where affairs of the heart are concerned. The right guy will come along and you know what? There won’t be any of this…“I wonder stuff”. When it’s right, there won’t be anything keeping y’all apart.
You hang on to whatever hopeless romantic aspect that you may have. Believe me, when you finally are ready (or not) it’ll be worth all the frogs you had to kiss to get there.
Yeah, I know folks, I sound as corny as I can be. But hey, I’m just telling you how it was for me.
I was a died in the wool confirmed bachelor for a long time, but…I never stood a chance when she walked into my life.
Good luck to ya Lez.
I need to say, I’m sick of hearing how when the right guy comes along you will know because music will play and a caption will appear that says “the right guy for you.” No offense - it’s nice that it happened to you that way, but I don’t buy that it always happens that way. If we believed that, then a lot of us might pass up perfectly good partners because the fireworks didn’t go off immediately. I believe there are a large number of potentially compatible people for all of us, but we have to meet them at the right time, and recognize our compatibility. We all carry around baggage that can prevent us from getting together. I’m in a happy relationship now, and while I knew I liked him from the beginning, I had serious doubts whether we would be compatible. It’s possible that things could have worked out with this guy at another time, but right now the relationship he wants isn’t the same one lezlers wants.
Hope you have better luck with the next frog.
chula, it was more than us just wanting different things out of a relationship right now. We were just incompatible in general. He actually seemed to have more of a problem with the age thing than I did, from what I could read off him (would look kind of uncomforatable and/or bored when I’d talk about school, obviously didn’t want me to meet his friends). He sort of let it slip last night that he took his “friend” Cindy (whom he mentioned often) to the wedding. Stuff like that.
t-keela, I’m sort of with chula on the whole disbelieving the violins are going to cue up and lights are going to dim introduction to my One Twue Luv. I’m glad to hear that it happened to you since you seem like such a cool person, but I really think that it’s a much subtler process. I don’t want to be like one friend of mine who married someone she had lukewarm feelings for just so she would be married, but I have no intentions of not settling for anything less than the full on storybook version of what all little girls actually think will happen to them. The older I get the more realistic I get with that one. Thanks for all your kind words, though.
Anyhoo, I’m really okay with it. I think it’s more the job thing that’s bugging me, they still haven’t called. I’m giving it until tomorrow then I’m calling them. I stayed home from work today and got ahead in all of my studying so I at least feel like I have control over some part of my life!
Thanks all, for your thoughts and advice, everyone.