Almond milk feels like I'm drinking elf come*

[Ike_Witt]

There needs to be a shot called Elf Come, with a variant that uses Blue Curacao to be known as Smurf Come.

[Alan_Smithee]

There is nothing at all nonstandard about spelling the slang word for semen “come.”

Dictionary.com (Random House) defines cum by cross-referencing come, def. 24: “semen.”

Thefreedictionary.com (American Heritage) defines cum as “variant of come.” No definition is specified, but the only definition of come as a noun is “semen ejaculated during orgasm,” which is marked with the cross reference, “also cum.”

Merriam-Webster.com doesn’t define cum as a noun at all, but does include as definitions for come as a noun cross references to both semen and orgasm. (I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered come/cum as a noun meaning “orgasm,” but I’m sure it’s possible.)

ETA: The Online Etymology Dictionary entry for cum reads

verb and noun, by 1973, apparently a variant of the sexual sense of come that originated in pornographic writing, perhaps first in the noun sense. This “experience sexual orgasm” slang meaning of come (perhaps originally come off) is attested from 1650, in “Walking In A Meadowe Greene,” in a folio of “loose songs” collected by Bishop Percy.
They lay soe close together, they made me much to wonder;
I knew not which was wether, until I saw her under.
Then off he came, and blusht for shame soe soon that he had endit;
Yet still she lies, and to him cryes, “one more and none can mend it.”
As a noun meaning “semen or other product of orgasm” it is on record from the 1920s. The sexual cum seems to have no connection with L. cum, the preposition meaning “with, together with,” which is occasionally used in English in local names of combined parishes or benifices (e.g. Chorlton-cum-Hardy), in popular Latin phrases (e.g. cum laude), or as a combining word to indicate a dual nature or function (e.g. slumber party-cum-bloodbath).

[Greg_Charles]

According to Webster’s, “come” is the proper (albeit, vulgar slang) term, and “cum” is an alternate spelling. There’s just one more thing I learned in school (though, again, not in class) that turns out to be wrong. Everything-I-need-to-know-I-learned-in-kindergarten my ass!

Cum, in a non-vulgar sense, means, “combined with”. I once proofread a friend’s resume where she listed her current position as sales-cum-accountant. I advised her to change that.

ETA: Ninja’d by AS. I really hope nobody is monitoring my Internet usage today. I’ve already searched for the Gaelic term for hooker, and the definition of cum.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

A silver lining: your archery skills have likely gone through the roof!

Seriously though…can’t you cut it with some water or something to make it less…gloppy?

Me and my sons drink 1% and we love it. Just like anything else, its takes some getting used to.

[Southern_Yankee]

How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton??

[Anaamika]

@elfkin477

You don’t get to change the spelling just because you don’t like it. If you did, I’d lop off all those unneeded letters at the end of French words.

@Infovore

She can too, and so can I! I despise the word “cum.” it’s just too damn cutesy for its own good.

If all those rappers get to change the spellings of words, then so do Anaamika and I.

The word is “come”. “cum” is some sort of teeny bopper Penthouse forum crap. I don’t use every bit of slang out there just because it exists! If “cum” was the only acceptable spelling…well, I’d just never ever use it.

@FoieGrasIsEvil

A silver lining: your archery skills have likely gone through the roof!

Seriously though…can’t you cut it with some water or something to make it less…gloppy?

If that’s the case, I’ll take Haldir. Please.
And sure, I could cut it with water. At this point I still have other options before I have to go that route.

@Southern_Yankee

How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton??

:eek: run along, do the research. You know, fighting ignorance and all!

[eschereal]

All of this controversy could have been avoided simply by using the word “gism”, because everyone can agree on how to spell that.

[Suburban_Plankton]

I don’t really have anything to contribute to the topic(s) at hand, but I wanted to pop in and say how great it is that in a single thread we have overlapping, interweaving discussions about milk and milk alternatives, the etymology of the word “cum”, and a series of Elf semen jokes…and it all somehow works.

It makes me proud to be a Doper…

[Der_Trihs]

@Southern_Yankee

How many elves do you need to “milk” to fill a carton??

Depends on how long since they’ve had a girlfriend.

[Tapiotar]

What do you mean by “healthy drink”? Unsweetened coconut milk from SO Delicious is the best milk substitute I’ve found. 35 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of carb per serving size box.

I cannot consume anything made with soy, almond milk is too sweet, rice milk too gritty and too high in carbs. Oat milk is also too high in carbs. Goat milk triggers an immediate vomit reflex. For me, cow’s milk is the tastiest alternative, but I can drink the unsweetened coconut milk.

[kayaker]

@For You

All of this controversy could have been avoided simply by using the word “gism”, because everyone can agree on how to spell that.

Jizzim. I used to know a dude everyone called Jizzim. It was not meant in a good way.

[MrDibble]

@Barking_Dog

I really wish they’d stop calling it milk. It’s not milk. Milk comes from a tit. You don’t see soybeans with little udders on, do you?* It’s juice, so they should call it soy juice.

It’s been called almond milk since the Middle Ages(was hugely popular in cooking then) - I think that ship has sailed.

Then sunk in the Solent, been buried in mud, raised again and put in a museum.

[Anaamika]

@Suburban_Plankton

I don’t really have anything to contribute to the topic(s) at hand, but I wanted to pop in and say how great it is that in a single thread we have overlapping, interweaving discussions about milk and milk alternatives, the etymology of the word “cum”, and a series of Elf semen jokes…and it all somehow works.

It makes me proud to be a Doper…

Yeah I know. It makes me laugh.

And it’s “jism”.

[Teacake]

@elfkin477

You don’t get to change the spelling just because you don’t like it. If you did, I’d lop off all those unneeded letters at the end of French words.

Um… isn’t changing spellings because you don’t like them exactly what Americans do?!

[Ellen_Cherry]

@Dogzilla

I have nothing to add aside from :: snerk:: at the elf come thing, and to mention that it sounds like almond milk would be really great when poured into my ice cream machine and told to make ice cream.

I’ve been adding soy and almond milk to the cow milk/cream/Pet milk concoction I use to make my ice cream and it’s deelisshyoso. I think it makes it freeze up faster too. /anecdote

[kayaker]

@Ellen_Cherry

I’ve been adding soy and almond milk to the cow milk/cream/Pet milk concoction I use to make my ice cream and it’s deelisshyoso. I think it makes it freeze up faster too. /anecdote

{bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs?

[eschereal]

@kayaker

{bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs?

Why does that remind me of the first episode of Red Dwarf?

[Ellen_Cherry]

@kayaker

{bolding mine} You’re milking cats and dogs?

The trick is getting them to quit fighting and stand still. It’s even more exciting when you use females. :eek:

[Ellen_Cherry]

Also: http://www.petmilk.com/ :rolleyes:

[GreenElf]

I no longer drink soy or almond milk since they don’t really have the consistency of a milk. I used to drink rice milk but have switched to coconut milk.