It must be something you carry in your purse. Have at it, ladies. I do this ONLY as a public service. I have nothing to gain here… well, some fun. (Crossing fingers that Alphagene is a good sport if nothing else) and since this WILL be labeled as a personal attack I post in the pit.
Now, a tampon was mentioned. I have a credit card… I’m thinking you could use it to BUY stuff to get him with… again, like the Satan butt thing: Be creative, be inventive, but if you REALLY have a major axe to grind, BE SPECIFIC!
Could just use the purse as a cosh - I’ve got two rolls of quarters in the bottom of mine.
How about a stainless steel fingernail file? The little pocket knife I keep on my keychain? Either would be suitable for circumcision or castration. (Or even hemorrhoid surgery)
Wait, wait, I have some hot pepper spray! First circumcision, then castration, followed by a shot of hot pepper spray! That should make things lively!
You know, I DO have my handy dandy Gerber multipurpose bomb-making tool and hormone pumped army knife.
Tell ya what: you guys come up with items, and I’ll just surgically attach them somehow with the Gerber. Think of all the groovy patterns we could make under the skin of his face with lipstick corpses!
Hey, it slices, it dices, it …
(My monste – mother shows up tomorrow. You think I’m grumpy NOW!)
Oh this is just darling. The angry kitties of MPSIMS join together to rear their clipped little claws at me.
Is it me, or are a lot of these broads obsessed with castration?
My word, even the most inexperienced psychoanalyst could easily see through you, coos. Obviously anything exquisitely masculine, such as myself, is very threatening to you. You ladies have the inter-gender social skills of Catharine MacKinnon.
I’m sure the thread will die soon anyway, but by all means feel free to continue. And please, be gentle.
First, I would tie him to a chair using my dental floss. (Note: His muscles aren’t that big.)
Next I would put my earphones over his ears. Turning up the loudness and the bass to MAXIMUM, Alphie would be subjected to the lovely music of the Plasmatics and the gorgeous singing voice of the late Wendy O. Williams. I know how much he loves female vocalists.
The extra batteries would, of course, be shoved in his mouth so he gets that gross filling/battery uncomfortableness.
Then I would write him a check for $1000 and rip it up in his face.
Then I would talk loudly on my cell phone for a few minutes (between songs)
For the fellow femi-nazis, I would stick a maxi pad to his forehead and make him eat some Pamprin. (That’s considered psycological warfare)
I think I’d like to rub his eyelids with lip balm and draw some butterfly and rainbow and cloud and angel tattoos on conspicuous body parts. He LOOOOVES sentimental and precious tokens.
The problem with this is that it would give Alphie too much attention. So I’d ignore him for awhile and flirt with the other Italians I’ve abducted.
Jesu Cristi, Alpha! How the hell did you find a way to flirt with the entire female populace of the MB?
And after all the bitchin’ and moanin’ about MPSIMS you do…
He weathered a firestorm of agony and did not break.
And while Yori raged against his unbending
courage, we took Kyuden Hiruma back.
His loss is great, but so is the gift his suffering brought.
-Yakamo’s Funeral
“Exquisitely masculine”? Somehow this description seems a little - uh - feminine.
Sorry, Alphie, I work in a veterinary clinic where we castrate sons of bitches - uh, little doggies all day long. They are so much sweeter and nicer afterwards! No more fighting, chasing girls, peeing on the walls . . .
And the hot pepper stuff keeps them from pulling out their stitches! See, I just had your best interests in mind
Carpe diem - Seize the day
Carpe noctem - Seize the night
Carpe cerevisi - Seize the beer
