I know my favorite thing is how he always gives me extra petite marshmallows in my cocoa after I come in from building a snowman. Also, he always burns the bread a little bit, just like I like it, when he makes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. And he always holds the back of my head when I blow my nose, to make sure I get all the boogies out.
Alphagene’s the best.
Okay, everyone, let’s hear why you like Alphagene so much.
Ke-er-rist, Flyp. You gotta death wish or somethin’? There ain’t no way in hell I’m touching this topic.
I like it when…
… he strokes my ego, just so.
… he tells me how intelligent he thinks I am.
… he shares my enthusiasm, love and deep appreciation of MPSIMS.
… he shows me what true compassion is by modeling it in every way, every day.
and finally, I love it when he says, “Call me Alfalfagene. And say it like you mean it.”
Valerie 
I am gravely disappointed, Unc. I’ve always thought of you as a man who knows no fear.
What I like best about Alphagene is that, when you dangle him by a steel cable from the summit of one of the towers of the World Trade Center, and you dangle UncleBeer from the other, and you swing them both in huge arcs so that they repeatedly slam into each other, by the time you’re done, there’s more of Alphagene left over.
That and the fact that when he reads us bedtime stories, he does all the voices.
I like his vast collection of Precious Moments figurines. And stuffed animals.
And how he always makes soup for all of us on cold days.
What a softie.
I like it when Alpha comes over to my house and we have sleepovers. He wears his Holly Hobby Nightgown and I wear my Spiderman Underoos. He always brings his Easy Bake Oven so we can make real cakes all by ourselves!
I like the friendly way Alphagene talks to trolls. No matter what they say, he listens to them and responds
with such compassion and love.
And I like the way he goes out of his way to be a peace maker.
But what I like best is the milk and cookies he gives us when it’s story time.
::Ayesha leaves this thread running for her life::
I like it when Alphagene tells Demo to stop shooting his “web”.
I like it when Alphagene reads from Charles Dickens to us before bed, then goes back to his place and gets hopped up on ether.
I like how Alphagene can turn the world on with his smile.
But, most of all.
I like when Alphagene does his interprative BBQ Pit dance.
pat
He’s cute when he snarls.
AHEM! That was supposed to be our little secret. Remember? Cripes…
I like how nice he is to all of us that set up the lawn chairs and kegs for the flame wars. He bakes us brownies and toll house cookies, brings extra Diet Coke for those of us who don’t drink, and makes sure that we don’t get too crowded. He’s a really sweet guy in that way.
His deep and abiding love for all people. The way he makes me feel when he smiles.
Nope. Can’t think of a thing.
More than anything, I love him for his looks. Those eyes… MAN the times I have contemplated switching teams for this stud.
I like how, on days when you just don’t feel like going to school so you say you have a stomache ache, Alphagene doesn’t look at you real suspiciously or ask a bunch of questions. He lets you stay in bed with comic books, and at lunch he brings you soup.
Which is why I would never mention that unfortunate incident when I caught him in the garage with a fifth of Chivas and an inflatable sheep.
What I love about him best is when my little puppy got hit by a car, Alpha gave me a big hug and held me while I cried. Then, later, he took me to Dairy Queen and said I could get whatever I wanted.
One time I accidentally broke my mommy’s favorite ceramic duck and Alph said he did it so I wouldn’t get in trouble.
–Tim
Thanks a bunch, Jodi. I can now report that snorting Diet Coke out my nose hurts like hell.
He has a smile that brightens up the whole world. Whenever I have a bad day, I know I can go to Alphagene and tell him all about it, and he’ll give me friendly advice that helps me out a whole bunch. He’s like Dr. Laura, only nicer.
I once saw Alphagene levitate to return a fallen sparrow to its nest, all the while mending its broken wing with popsicle sticks and twine.
He is love.