I was talking to my 25 year old daugther via IM tonight. I got a message from her account saying " Hi (my real name) this is the ex you don’t know about".
I wondered what the hell was going on.
Then the person said “i’m sure you could have told me (the ex) many interesteing stories.”
At this stage i was pretty angry and asked what was happening. Daughter comes back online and said it was her friend (her ex as it turns out) and he used her computer.
I was still pretty annoyed and said if he had the balls he could apologise.
Although I reacted badly it was stupid, and unless I invite someone to call me by my first name they can call me Mr Cicero. It was probably not rational as if I had met the guy in the flesh i would not have stood on ceremony.
Nevertheless I am still pretty annoyed about the whole deal. I could laugh it off but I don’t feel inclined to.
So while you were on IM with your daughter someone else “her ex” came on the IM and starting talking to you as though it was your daughter. They never announced themselves as someone else?
I would be a little upset at my daughter and the ex. She should have indicated she was no longer on the IM screen and he/she should have indicated he was now on the IM.
I would get over it pretty fast though but I would make it a point to tell my daughter to indicate to me in the future is she is going to leave the computer.
I hate it when someone hijacks another’s IM account, but I do think you’ve overreacted a little. The ex sounds like a bit of a dolt - I’d consider the source and forget about it.
And, for the record, I hate it when young 'uns call me by my first name or when parents introduce me that way. I’m 54, which means I’m way too old to be buddies with your 'tween. I try not to cringe when addressed so personally by 20-something coworkers fresh out of college, since we are, theoretically, equals in the work place, so I deal. It was much easier when I was in the Navy - the protocol is well established.
It’s irritating as hell when people pretend to be someone else. I think my team in India does it sometimes, but of course I can’t prove it. I recognize certain styles for each of them, and one co-worker sounded an awful lot like the other. If you’re late to work, TELL ME! Don’t pretend you’re someone else to cover for them. Jeeeezzzzz…
As far as I can tell, though, the dude wasn’t pretending to be your daughter, he said, ‘‘hi, this is daughter’s ex…’’ he made it clear up front who he was. It sounds like he was just trying to be friendly.
I’m just guessing that the bolded part might have been a little disconcerting.
You seem close enough with your daughter that you’re chatting with her on IM, so it may have been disconcerting to find out via IM that she’s had other intimate connections in her life that you don’t know about. So it probably took you off-guard. And while you can rationalize that you don’t have to know everything about your daughter’s life, it can make you feel left out that this was revealed in the way that it was. . .very nonchalantly.
