Sue Duhnym beat me to it… “Anus Ground Zero” would be an excellent band name. Perhaps I should have my video-producer friend make a mock documentary of the band (he already did one about a band called “Johnny Vomit and the Heaves”, a parody of Buddy Holly).
Anyway… the ass of my underpants doesn’t wear out, but the crotch sure does. That’s probably half because I have fat thighs (friction) and because more moisture gathers there (fat thighs make lotsa sweat).
I think it’s the moisture… and it probably isn’t caused by your farts. You ever notice if your butt in general gets sweaty if you stay seated for a long period of time? That moisture would probably gather right in the center of your butt… the aforementioned and greatly-vaunted Anus Ground Zero.
In a normal sitting posture, the left butt cheek pulls the fabric of the BVDs outward & to the left. The right butt cheek pulls the fabric outward & to the right. The weakest point is the area of maximum stretching–the area over the crack & anus. Just a little scratching of this area could easily tear the stretched material.
They’re actually really comfy. For those with ‘sit and crush’ issues, they perform as advertised. So rethink that snort of derision, gentlemen. The company is called e2u.
Of course you get holes in your briefs around ground zero. We men scratch our asses. The fact that we do this without noticing accounts for the fact that the holes seem to appear from no-where.
I think that if we were to be in female company ALL the time, we wouldn’t indulge in such behaviour, allthough this isn’t to be concidered conclusive because we usually sease farting as well in their company.
I don’t appear to have this problem. I examined the last three pairs that I wore (they were still stuck to the wall where I had thrown them) and I didn’t see any strange holes where none had existed before.
When I saw the threadspotting teaser, I totally thought it was going to be the shitting your pants thread. My first thought was “oh, God, now EVERYONE’s going to read my poopy pants story.”
But no. They get to read my farting and thong-wearing post instead.
As a teenager, I had no idea that a musical instrument might have a G string, so on hearing of Bach’s “Air on the G string” I thought of the item of feminine attire made famous by Gypsy Rose Lee, and whiled away many hours wondering precisely what Johann Sebastian had in mind.
Tansu, I have the same issue with menstrual blood bleaching my underpants…I also experience it if I’ve had a day of heavy non-menstrual discharge. Pretty gross. Leave the house in vibrant color, come home in odd tie-dye…
However, the only wearage issue I ever have is separating from the waistband. I suspect that it’s a scratching/moisture combination.
See, the funny thing is, you probably think I’m kidding. But seriously, he’s sitting in the same room as I write this and I don’t think he knows I know about this.
Needless to say, I was disturbed to find that he’s shared the rapid deterioration of his buttocal coverage accessory with the entire world before me. I hadn’t observed the problem, but then he does his own laundry. I will be morbidly curious now to observe his underwear degradation. If I find out anything interesting that he hasn’t shared (and it seems to me he’s shared MORE than enough already) I’ll let you know.
I do have to point out that I was even more disturbed to read the varied and highly convoluted dissection of underwear which followed (ANTS? OXIDIZING MONTHLYS? WTF?!)
I’m going to cast a vote for shoddy materials. While scratching probably worstens the problem, I don’t think it’s the sole cause. Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed that my panties tend to develop holes in front, above the crotch. Most of them start out as runs, then get somewhat bigger. If that happened to a guys undies, and he scratched near a run, he’d end up with a bigger hole.
And it’s not just underwear that’s made more shoddily, socks too. I’ve bought socks twice as often as usual over the past year or two, since the stupid things quickly develop holes in the toe area.
Anyone know if Hanes and/or fruit of the loom have changed grades of cotton within the last couple of years?
"He and his wife, Arlene, 57, who suffers from Crohn’s disease, a form of inflammatory bowel syndrome, were lying under the covers when she let go a bomb.
“I’m laying in bed with her, sort of suffering silently,” he said.
Out of the silence came determination. Something had to be done.
More than six years later, Buck Weimer has a new invention: Under-Ease, airtight underwear with a replaceable charcoal filter that removes bad-smelling gases before they escape. Weimer received a patent in 1998.
The undies are made from a soft, airtight, nylon-type fabric. Elastic is sewn around the waist and both legs. The removable filter - which looks similar to the shoulder pads placed in women’s clothing - is made of charcoal sandwiched between two layers of Australian sheep’s wool."
Just picking a nit here, in the name of fighting ignorance:
That definition is incorrect. It’s not a form of IBS, it’s a serious disease.
Here is a short explanation from the Crohns and Colitis foundation (www.ccfa.org):
Crohn’s disease is a serious inflammatory disease of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract. It predominates in the intestine (ileum) and the large intestine (colon), but may occur in any section of the GI tract.
Hey, while we’re on the subject of thongs, I’ve got one for you.
If someone was wearing a thong and they pooped, would the turd just split in two and squeeze out like a knife through a banana? That would sure be an interesting sight… Heres the names of some bands that i found funny… They’re real bands!
Poopshovel
Penis Flytrap
Cece Peniston
Poopiehead
My bandmates and I are still trying to think of a good name for our comedy-techno group, so if you guys have any more band names (Anus Ground Zero???) then keep on posting them!!!
