ROFL great description, I’ll second that
I would guess it’s from sitting, not flatus. Friction, my friend, is far more dangerous to knit & woven things.
I have a funny movie of this guy holding a lighter to his butt (he’s faceup on ground, spreaddeagled [what do eagles have to do with all that?]) and farting a two-foot bolt of HellFlame.
find it at http://www.ebaumsworld.com/ it’s hidden in there somewhere
Fart Art, Air Biscuits? God, I love this place.
I’d go with the warmth & bacteria laden moistness. I’m a boxer guy & that’s where mine wear out first too. It’s not so much AGZ as the general area between my balls & AGZ. My T-shirts will wear out in the pits area first, and that’s also warm & moist & full of bacteria. I find woven cotton boxers wear out sooner than knitted type boxers or boxer briefs. I’ve only recently switched to woven cotton boxer briefs tho after my old boxers kept having blowouts, so I can’t say for sure.
Now I’d like to know why my old blue jeans always give out in two holes right where my balls are. It’s not like a wear tight jeans or have enormous low hangers or something.
And why am I so reluctant to trade in an old pair of my favorite boxers even after they’ve had a blowout? It’s not like people see 'em very often, and even I don’t look at 'em all that much, but I just hate to let them go.
The anatomical term for this area is perineum.
I worked with a fellow while I was in the Navy that had a unique way of extending the life of his scivies. Day 1 they were worn in a normal fashion, day 2 they were spun around 180 degrees, day 3 they were worn inside out with the fly in front and day 4, backwards and inside out. The only reason I know this was because a pair of his shorts somehow ended up in my laundry. The shorts were equally skidmarked front and back and on both sides.
And one more thing. I would be willing to guess anyone named Mark, such as myself, would like to find a better term than “skidmarked” for the brown stains found in underwear. I propose that the term ‘Permanant Fecal Stain’ or PFS be used on the SDMB from now on when the discussion concerns undergarments. This will be another step in making this forum totally PC. 
quote:
And one more thing. I would be willing to guess anyone named Mark, such as myself, would like to find a better term than “skidmarked” for the brown stains found in underwear. I propose that the term ‘Permanant Fecal Stain’ or PFS be used on the SDMB from now on when the discussion concerns undergarments. This will be another step in making this forum totally PC.
How about “Hershey Swishes”?
While the previous posts have been interesting, they’re just anecdotal.
If we want to answer the original question, we need to use the scientific method. Who wants to volunteer as test subjects?
Sorry, but I think I’ve already volunteered too much in this thread.
:: shakes head ::
… because I think it is the funniest thing I have ever read on The Dope, and needs some more discussion.
I just scanned the 2 pages (ya, I busted a gut to the point of letting one rip!:D) and thought to myself, “We’re missing the obvious”. (and here, you need to keep in mind that this is Quasi, okay?).
First, what gas composes a fart?
Methane, right?
Methane is a compound gas: CH4 right?
And methane is flammable, as many of us, as children or sophomoric adults (“Hey, y’all! Watch this”) have discovered.
And here is where my “research” takes a nose dive: Is methane also a corrosive and could that account for the holes in RickJay’s undwear?
I have not been able to support this idea (theory) with any definitive results, so what say you?
To continue with my somewhat flawed proposition:
If methane is corrosive, and because a fart does not escape into room air right away, but is “trapped” within the fabric of the underwear for a nano-second (or so:rolleyes:), would that be enough time for the corrosive element to do its damage?
Finally, I would just like to add that it isn’t my intent to detract from RickJay’s humorous question by all my so-called “scientific” mumbo-jumbo, but in addition to making me laugh throughout the years, it has now caused me to “think”, and think with some kind of “logic”, and that exercises my brain - which it sorely needs.
Thanks for indulging me, RickJay, et al!
Quasi
Two words…‘Anus lint’.
Daily clenching and unclenching will produce abnormal wear and tear on almost any fabric.
Sorry that I missed this all those years ago…
Among other things, as we learned from Cecil(PBUHN):
I’m pretty sure my large intestine can make gases out of the whole periodic table.
“Intestinal gas, we learn, is made up mostly of five gases: nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane. The first two you get from swallowing air during eating, while the last three are generated in the large intestine.”
“Generated”
(Remember this is Quasi, okay?)
By what?
Peristalsis?
Hey?
I’m just trying to follow along with the little Biology 101 I learned at WGC .
Please do not consider this as anything but a weak effort at “comic relief”!
Thanks
Quasi
I’m glad to see this thread - Jimbo denies the obvious evidence that he is farting holes in his underwear (although the near-continuous butt-scratching probably plays a part too).
Okay, so now friction plays a part.
Q
totally subscribing.
This thread is exactly the reason for us staying together!
Can you imagine the reaction we would get if we brought this shit up at the family dinner table?
Og, I love this place!
Q
OK, I’ll take this just because I’m bored. No, methane is not corrosive. None of the major gases emitted in a fart are corrosive. It’s possible that some minor component weakens the fabric. I don’t know, it’s not a problem I have ever had.
My vote goes with the mechanical explanation of the two cheeks pulling the underwear apart. None of the jobs I have ever had were sitting jobs. My underwear wears out in the crotch presumably from my huge package, though possibly it could be from walking.
ahem
And with that mildly acerbic comment, the thread moves on.
Quas