My favorite thread EVER used to be: How Much Does a Turd Weigh?
Now it’s this one.
My panties are not holey. Sometimes I wear g-strings. The string parts seem to be holding up well. I don’t fart much since I changed my diet. It’s true. That is all.
Hey Quasi, have you ever read the thread by the guy wondering if his tropical fish might enjoy snacking on his sperm? That was a pretty good one, too.
This is your first post in over 8 years !!!. To tell us that men scratch their asses ?
I don’t have the same problem as Rickjay. Before my shorts get to that point my dog manages to pull them out of the hamper and completely remove the AGZ.
I’ve never had this problem, but the more I think about it I’m convinced that “ground zero” is the area of maximum movement of the fabric, mainly from walking. As you walk, the fabric covering each cheek clings to the skin, due to friction. The “ground zero” fabric is pulled one way, then the other, with no friction to hold it in place. So that’s the area that receives the maximum wear and tear. Plus, of course, the “fart factor,” (another band name). Some fabrics can withstand this stress more than others, so simply changing brands might be the solution.
I’m so proud.
I don’t have this problem. My underwear have always torn first just below the waistband, and never at all at anus-ground-zero.
I am thin and don’t exude gas, just for a point of comparison.
A beautiful, albeit punnish, user name-post combo.
Future Dopefest conversation -
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, that’s the guy who farts holes in his underwear.”
The first joke I ever heard:
Q. What’s the sharpest thing in the world?
A. A fart. It goes through your pants without making a hole.
Well it was funny when I was six years old.
One possibility: Do you get a lot of wedgies?
Well, the solution for this problem is crisp clear, innit? Simply stop wearing underwear. What’s so hard about that?
Underear is cheaper than trousers.
Or “taint”.
No, no. Funk.
Okay, the reason I love this thread is not only because it makes me laugh, but because I relate to it!
I have random holes in my FOTL’s, and it isn’t because of bleach, because we don’t use it on my colored (I don’t wear white) undies.
I still think farts become trapped, and even if they aren’t corrosive, *some * kind of damage occurs.
I think what is needed, is a hermetically sealed (R.I.P., Ed McMahon) chamber, somehow “air-tightly” hooked to a guy’s (or gal’s) asshole, a camera rolling time-lapse and just see what’s going on.
If holes begin to appear, I think we can safely assume that that part of the underwear is too weak to withstand a fart, and file a class-action suit, being that *we * are not causing this to occur.
Thanks
Quasi
Did you notice the post you quoted was 8 years old?
Linky? 
Thanks
Q
A blast from the past, if ever there was one.
I just wanted to pay tribute to the first ever post to make me spew, and also wanted to “further encourage” any scientific research in that direction.
Meanwhile, random holes still do appear in my undies’ bottoms while the rest of the undergarment remains intact.
Scientifically Yours,
Quasimodem 
(who is just having a bit of a lark! (as it were!))
Good lord! When we were kids, we would go to the basement to change into our bathing suits (because that’s where the washer and dryer and clothes lines for hanging up wet stuff were). And being kids, we often shucked our clothes and let them lay there on the basement floor.
Our basement had ::shudder:: water bugs. I’m not even sure exactly what kind of insect they were. They were big and black and shiny. (And this is WV, not Florida.)
Anyhoo, my mom told us the water bugs would eat our panties if we left them on the basement floor. I later assumed that was just a horrible tale to make us pick up after ourselves. An insect boogeyman, as 'twere.
Ants eating the crotch out of your panties??!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:
::faints dead away::