Something is clearly wrong. Either your instincts are bad (possibly this is something you do on repeat with men) or he is a dick. Sorry, males who have responded with “men look, get over it” – men who are worth it may look, but they don’t make it obvious, as in, ‘you’re so boring I’m scanning for entertainment elsewhere’. Also in relationships that are going somewhere, the couple talks to each other when facing each other over a table at a restaurant.
I remember when I was much younger, my wife and I were at th elocal pool with the kids and she said, “I don’t mind you checking out the other women, but don’t lose track of the ability to carry on a conversation. And, BTW, don’t think the sunglasses hide the fact that you are checking them out!” Oof!
I think the most interesting question was asked upthread - how/why the OP thought THESE boards were the best place to discuss this.
OP - you impress me as young and/or immature/inexperienced/lacking confidence. I don’t mean that as a criticism. We were all there at one time. Of course your feelings are “valid.” But you get to choose how to act upon them.
As others have commented, your ages, the length/intensity of this relationship, and the stated purpose of this “date” are relevant factors. I’ve been amazed at the frequency with which I see younger people check out their phones while at table. I think it rude, but acknowledge I am an old fogey. I’m not sure it would bother me more or less that my date was splitting their attention with a phone, TV, or another person.
And you have to decide whether he was telling the truth or making up a story about the soccer player resemblance. You have to decide - if something like this happens, do you want to confront your SO? And if you do, would you prefer that they be honest or make something up? And if they give an explanation, how readily will you believe them?
For most of us who have live a while and had a relationship or 2, what you describe is awfully small beer. But you get to decide how big of a deal you make out of it - either internally or w/ your SO.
Great answer
Yeah - I get that A LOT around here! 
We have a winner!
Ha ha, no. I will point out that Dallas won that year because the Calgary Flames generously let you have Joe Nieuwendyk, who got 10 goals in the playoffs for the Flames in 1989.
Excuse me I am a late middle aged female dork.
@Dinsdale’s response most echoes my own thoughts, though a lot of people have mentioned it. It’s always okay to feel how you feel; identifying and specifying your feelings, whether they’re jealousy, anger, annoyance, insecurity, whatever are helpful in addressing them. I find stifling or ignoring them just amplifies them in the long run. It’s what you do with those feelings that can be helpful or not helpful. You can’t control what your boyfriend does, thinks, feels, but you are responsible for your own thinking, feeling, and actions, so work on what you can change to help your own emotional state.
I also think you’re not some sort of basket case for having the reaction you are having. It’s definitely not uncommon, especially when you are younger (if you are) and emotions tend to be stronger and fresher. Lord knows I’ve been there, and I’ve had partners who have been there. Jealousy and insecurity are not helpful to one’s mental health and to relationships in general and very quickly can fall into self-fulfilling prophecies. I mean, this guy can very well turn out not to be a good partner, but judging from one anecdote in the OP, this feels like a fairly innocuous situation, though I do feel he could have exhibited more tact. If everything else in your relationship seems to be okay, then this should be a nothingburger.
Agree with this just above. One point that got made well, but a bit gently or obliquely, is the difference between feeling and behaving. And IMO that is a difference worth calling out loudly and clearly which I will now try to do.
Many folks, but IME more young than old and more female than male, hold that any behavior motivated by emotion is “real” or “genuine”, and the stronger the behavior the more “valid” it is. Whereas behavior motivated by thought or reflection is somehow “contrived” or “fake” or worse yet, “insincere”.
Those are the behavioral traits of a difficult child. As an adult one is free to behave in that uncontrolled and uncontrollable way if they so choose. However I’ll trot out on of my favorite life lessons:
You can choose your behavior or you can choose the consequences of your behavior. You don’t get to choose both.
Said another way, you (any you) letting your emotions drive uncontrolled behavior will have consequences. Probably ones you don’t like. Trying to put the blame for those completely predictable consequences on the rest of the world and the other people in it is foolish child-thinking.
A more successful approach to life in any situation is to think about the consequences you want to achieve, then behave in the way you think will achieve those. Informed by, but not ruled by, the emotional background music of whatever you’re feeling.
I might get flack over this but as a man if I am out with a woman I am in love with other women no longer exist. I just don’t see them. I have only had two women in my life that affected me this way. On a normal date I just avoid looking or only look when she doesn’t know I am looking. I would consider it very disrespectful if a man gave a woman much more than a passing glance.
Next time you’re intimate with him, wait until exactly the right moment, and shout, “WHAT’S MY NAME?!?”
If he shouts the name of the soccer player, break up.
Unless the game is on, and that particular soccer player scores a goal at that particular moment.
Okay, long shot, but …
“WHAT’S IN THE BOX???”
Yeah, you certainly don’t want your date gawking at someone else when you’re out, but it’s unclear to me how much looking was going on, plus it’s through the interpretation of the OP, so who knows what the reality is.
I remember one time I got caught by my fiancee looking, and I swear to God it wasn’t really intentional, but the bartender was caught in this very nice light. It did happen to accentuate her cleavage, but, as a photographer, I was drawn to the cinematic nature of the scene (though I’m sure my lizard brain saw other things, too). My eyes were downright fixed on her, and my (now-wife) said something to the effect of “see something you like?” with a smile in her voice. I snapped out of it and started mumbling about the lighting, and from then on, the bartender was nicknamed “Terri With the Nice Lighting.” Point being, I meant completely nothing by it; I wasn’t going to run off with Terri (not that she’d run off with me); my wife found the situation amusing because she was secure in herself and our relationship, and the whole incident was a big nothing, and mostly amusing for her because of my embarrassment.
My gf “caught” me looking once and mentioned it. I pointed out that the woman I’d been looking at was wearing the same brand of jeans she liked, but they didn’t look as good on the other woman.
(I’d recently noticed how much my gf paid for her jeans. She did a “model pose” and asked if they were worth it. I told her they were worth every penny.)
Usually if I’m looking at another woman while I’m out with my gf, it’s for a very legit reason.
Could have even been that he noticed that she was getting weird about him noticing she was attractive, and then (unsuccessfully) tried to defuse the situation by trying to compare the waitress’ looks to a man’s looks.
Sort of a “See, even though I noticed she’s attractive, I’m also trying to point out how I’m not affected by commenting how she looks like a man.” sort of thing.
Like this:
I can relate to the thing about photography and seeing someone in just the perfect way. If it just happens to be a hot woman, oh well! LOL.
One of my stock comments is
Always date people with the same first name as your spouse. That can save a lot of embarrassment in a moment of inattention or excitement.
This reminds me of how my husband refers to famous men I am intellectually attracted to as “your boyfriend.” I mean, like, he calls Friedrich Nietzsche my boyfriend.
Every once in a while we sit down and talk about all the people we have ever been attracted to throughout the course of our marriage.
Jealousy has never really been a factor in this relationship. Not even when it involved real feelings.