I don’t think you’re being fair. I did not get the sense that the OP was insisting on having sex at all, let alone in the afternoon. He just wanted her to be honest about whether and how much she was interested, instead of being passive aggressive about the timing while gushing about how much she loved it.
If she would have said she wasn't in the mood or tired or whatever I would have been fine, but she left me laying in the bed waiting while she played games on the computer, I do get pissed when someone is not honest. I spent 20 years with my first wife and 24 yrs with my girlfriend and never had issues like I have with this one every time I go out to see her. I ended it completely tonight and cut all ties where we can't contact one another. It was a case of I was more turned on to her than she was to me, in all fairness I have been in reverse situations and it really is hard to fake.
This thread seems so surreal to me:
Both are 70
Kids are in the house
She’s playing video games on the TV
What is going on?!
Baby boomers, amirite!?
Were you ever tempted to say something totally off the wall while she was playing her games, like “I’m going to chop up your cat into slices and serve them for dinner.”
“I don’t know…”
When she says “I don’t know” I’m picturing it done in the same way these folks are saying well, I don’t know about that
Did you confront her with your feelings? If so, how did she respond. If not, your really should.
Know it is a flick of the hair, a no headhshake and a very quick " I don’t know" Almost inaudible.
Our history goes back to when we were pre teens. She always had exceptionally good looks and attracted wealthy men who would buy her very expensive gifts. She knows how to play men. ( 7 marriages). Past 20 years she has settled down for the most part and stayed out of relationships. She has become a very good and loving grandmother to her grand-kids, almost to a fault. They fight over turns to stay with her. She has a lot of good qualities and is still very sexy but patronizing men has become second nature to her I think. A few weeks ago when I had first decided that we should end the relationship she calls me on the phone sounding all broken hearted and wanting to fix things. I didn’t give her an answer at that point and when she thought she had hung up the phone we were still connected. She immediately broke out into a joyful little melody. I cracked at that point because I knew I wasn’t dealing with a typical woman. She had basicaly just faked the entire conversation I am pretty sure.
Time to shake the dust from your sandals, my friend, and move on. You must be feeling at least a bit of relief right about now…
I know I should be and I think once the dust settles I will know I made the right decision but I have to admit it is not easy right now.
Yeah this is annoying. Yes, you know. I just told you. You are free to have a different opinion, you are free to cross-check me on Google. But if you don’t have your own ideas, then what I told you is what you know.
There are a few things like this that I file under “annoying but not worth fighting.” They are tolerable here and there, but the dose definitely makes the poison.
It’s as rude and dismissive as might have thought it was. A snippier way to say “STFU you’re boring me” than actually saying it.
I know it’s water under the bridge now, but thanks for the clarification.
It’s hard to adjust to another loss. I was thinking the other day that of the five men I’ve loved in the last 36 years, four of them are dead… one of them just a year ago. This month it will be 19 years since my husband died. I admire you for trying again. I don’t think I have it in me.
Everyone is overlooking the most important question in this story - what game is a 70 year old woman playing?
That is a fair question, I don’t think it is a game with a motive. I think it is just the only game she knows with men. She has been burned many times and done her share of burning over the years but I think she got off to a bad start at a very young age. She considers herself very boring and without her youthful looks doesn’t think she has much value. She can actually be very engaging on certain topics that she has followed up on over the years, mainly heath issues that have affected her family members. And she has very eclectic music tastes that match mine pretty well. She is not as boring as she thinks she is. She is also knowledgeable on fashion and the bar industry and has a natural gift for design and decorating. A lot of things I do like about her.
well, first, hearing “I don’t know” after telling someone facts is highly annoying. It seems like the person completely disregards your opinion on the matter. I hate that.
And second, by “game” I meant what game was she playing that she made you wait in bed for. You know, computer or cell phone game.
Third, seems strange to me that you can’t do things when the “kids” are home.
A little cell phone game where there are rows of blocks you remove. And we do our normal thing when the kids are home but when they are gone it is a little extra treat as we don’t have to be as quiet.
Too easily offended? I’d say yes. Almost to the degree that it looks like you’re looking for reasons to ditch her. Either that or you’re extremely high maintenance. Or both.
Honestly if you hadn’t used pronouns I would have guessed you to be the woman based on the exchanges you describe.
I am actually going to agree with you here. I don’t have a pattern of this in other relationships, I feel like the words don’t match the actions and if I could only get the words to match the actions I might have something. but for some reason she just sets me off. Set me off again a few minutes ago. This time I took some additional steps and blocked her from any kind of future contact. Might take me a few weeks to get over it but I feel good about it right now.