Ugh…before I say anything else, let me reiterate that this show, really, really needs new judges. I’ve never seen this much hostility before. For the love of humanity, let’s have some new blood. There was a time when the bickering was cute and harmless. Now it’s just plain ugly.
And just so we’re clear, I mean all the judges. I’ll spell it out for you folks: Simon Cowell is a hack. His criticisms sound like he’s reading the same ten cue cards over and over, and he sometimes can’t even keep his “opinions” consistent for a single show. And I know nobody wants to say this, but should he freaking get used to being booed by now? I mean, what the hell does he expect, that the audience is someday suddenly going to see the incredible wit of “safe and boring” and “karaoke performances”? As the saying goes, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I don’t think we’ll have to wait long. It looks like he and Seacrest are rapidly approaching the “either he goes or I go” stage (taking a shot at a man’s sex life is a whole 'nother level of dis), and I don’t think the viewing public or the network is going to be very sympatetic to Cowell.
On to the actual competition:
Taylor Hicks - He screwed up by setting the key too high; I could tell that he was straining a bit. Country Road isn’t supposed to be difficult. Okay but not great performance.
Mandisa - She must have struggled to find a song, because that was really unremarkable for her. I mean, it was good, sure, but definitely not used to what I’ve heard from her so far.
Elliott Yamin - This is country? Sure coulda fooled me. Decent, dependable, kinda like how he’s always been.
Ace Young - He sounded…kinda nice, actually. That-thing-he-does-that’s-not-falsetto was short enough that it wasn’t annoying. It wasn’t impressive, however…kinda like what a boy band member would do in a Texas lounge, if that’s any help.
Kellie Pickler - What can I say. They gave her the Testarossa tonight, and she damn near broke the sound barrier. By far the best I’ve ever seen from her.
Paris Bennett - She made a perfect song choice, she sounded great, and she looked like she was barely trying. Yeah. She looks good.
Chris Daughtry - With a lackluster couple of weeks, this was definitely make-or-break time for him…and he nailed it shut. It was an absolutely seamless performance. Put those forks away, yahoos, the front runner is back!
Katharine McPhee - She knew she needed to come up big after the near-shocker last week, and damned if that wasn’t exactly what she did. Impressive performance; downright professional-sounding, in fact.
Bucky Covington - Like Kellie, this was completely in his bag, and he had a chance to make a huge charge…and he blew it. He completely, totally blew it. Not only did he pick something that’s not even remotely country, he missed a few notes. I don’t usually ask this, but what the hell was he thinking?
Updated not-gonna-win list: Mandisa, Covington, Pickler, Young, Yamin. Yamin is simply too ordinary; and he won’t get the votes to beat any of the favorites.
Elimination prospects: A lot depends on exactly why McPhee had that close call. If it was just a coincidence (everyone thought she was safe, didn’t stick out enough and got lost in the shuffle, etc.), she’s going to be around for a while. If she’s really unpopular, she could be out. My guess is that it’s closer to the former than the latter and she’s safe. That means it’s probably between Covington, Hicks, and Yamin. I have a feeling…just a feeling, mind you…that it’ll be Covington. Young’s on borrowed time, but he won’t go this week.
I thought Olivia “Fig” Newton-John did country music (at least up until the “(Let’s Get) Physical” era). Which reminds me: I think Paris could have done a bang-up job with “Please Mister Please.” I don’t care if I’m a doddering sentimental old fool – for reasons that escape even me, I love that song!